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Today is the day! Yes, it is the anniversary of 9/11. #NeverForget. But you know what Donald Trump is really #NeverForgetting today, besides how his whole family is probably going to be wearing orange by the time his presidency is through? It is the official release day for Bob Woodward's book of magical Trump secrets!

We already had a post full of excerpts last week, wherein we learned that Trump's former lawyer John Dowd thinks Trump is a stupid liar and Defense Secretary Jim Mattis thinks Trump is an idiot -- so much so that he occasionally has to ignore Trump's orders to assassinate foreign leaders! The point is everybody who has ever met Donald Trump is fully aware that he is the stupidest person alive.

Well, now we have some new delicious sex-cerpts, and SPOILER ALERT, there are more people who think Trump is a fucking idiot. WHOA IF TRUE, yeah?


But how big of A Idiot IS HE, Wonkette?

Last week, we learned about how former White House economic adviser Gary Cohn, who quit the Trump administration because of Charlottesville tariffs, had his own special way of preventing Trump's madness, and it involved simply removing from the Resolute Desk things that might not be safe for the baby to sign, like documents pulling the United States out of important trade agreements and like, such as.

Now, in Business Insider, we learn just how much of A Idiot Gary Cohn says Trump really is, and it is scrumptious. Cohn was reportedly "astounded" by how stupid Trump is after a meeting in November 2016, especially after the then-president-elect offered a very GOOD BRAIN solution to getting rid of the national debt:

During the meeting at Trump Tower in November 2016, Cohn touched on a series of economic issues, including the Federal Reserve. Cohn told Trump that the Fed would most likely increase interest rates during his term. Trump then offered an idea of how to deal with the rising rates.

"We should just go borrow a lot of money, hold it, and then sell it to make money," Trump said, according to the book.

While Trump was correct that many private businesses issue debt at a time of low interest rates, Cohn was "astounded at Trump's lack of basic understanding" about what the government borrowing would mean, Woodward wrote.

BUT TRUMP FIGURED OUT HOW TO FIX IT.

"Just run the presses — print money," Trump said, according to Woodward.

Yeah, that's what you do, Donald, you just print shitloads of money and then there's no more debt. Presto chango BING BONG!

Except, you know ... nah.

Trump really really really doesn't like it when Robert Mueller follows the Russian money all the way up inside his ass

Back in December, we learned that special counsel Robert Mueller had been sending subpoenas to Deutsche Bank, which has handled a lot of the Trump family's very weird ass Russian money loans. Of course, looking into Trump's money dollars has always been The Line Ye Shall Not Cross (because that's where the bodies are buried, DUH). Those reports turned out not to be quite exactly accurate, as the New York Times updated its reporting to say that "the subpoena to Deutsche Bank pertained to people affiliated with Mr. Trump." Also, in reality, prosecutors were up JARED KUSHNER'S ass, and we've always suspected Trump's feelings wouldn't be hurt too bad if Jared went to jail.

Anyway, another Business Insider report on the Woodward book says that before Trump got clarification on what was really going on, he LOST HIS GODDANG MARBLES at his former lawyer John Dowd.

[A]fter learning of the news regarding Mueller and Deutsche Bank, a primary lender to the president, a furious Trump phoned Dowd at 7 a.m.

"I know my relationships with Deutsche Bank," Trump reportedly told Dowd, with Woodward writing that the president said the bank loved him and was always paid back for its loans. "I know what I borrowed, when I borrowed, when I paid it back. I know every godd--- one."

Woodward wrote that Trump added, "This is bulls---!"

TOTAL BULLS----! HE KNOWS EVERY GODD--- ONE! NO COLL-----! NO COLL-----! HILL--- IS THE COLL-----!

During his very presidential temper tantrum, Trump tried to get Robert Mueller fired, for the second time (that we know of).

Regardless of the accuracy of those initial reports, we're pretty sure Mueller is still all the way up Trump's Russian money-laundering ass. It's always been about the money.

Anything in the Woodward book about Lindsey Graham trying to get foreign leaders assassinated?

Oh nothing, just that back in September of 2017, Lindsey Graham tried to convince Trump, according to the Woodward book, that he should get China to assassinate Kim Jong-un and install a leader controlled by China. No big deal, we guess.

Hopefully one of Lindsey Graham's staffers will write an anonymous op-ed in the NYT about how they are part of the resistance inside Lindsey Graham's office, to keep him from acting on his worst impulses.

If we're lucky, they'll tell us what the Russians have on Graham, too.

OK, go buy the Woodward book! Post over! Goodbye!

[Business Insider / ibid.]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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