'You Work for ME!' Open Carry Loon Yells At Police, Exercising Right To Be Tedious A**hole
Via Moms Demand Action comes this proud Open Carry activist "Nunya Beeswax," who posted a FOUR-PART YouTube video documenting a recent Open Carry walk that Mr. Beeswax took around his Michigan neighborhood. He is the very model of a free man who knows his rights, which include the Right to Bear Arms, the Right to Free Speech, the Right to Bear Arms while Speaking Freely, and the Right To Be An Insufferable Prick Toward Police Officers Because He Is A Free Man And They Are Jackbooted Thugs who are supposed to work for WE THE PEOPLE.
We pick up Our Open Carry Hero with Part Three, in which he yells at cops and loudly complains about all the imagined wrongs they're no doubt poised to inflict upon him. Here's our Constitutional Hero's description of the encounter:
After being approached by the Royal Oak and Madison Heights police departments, while out on an open carry walk, I was followed by the Madison Heights police department. They followed me from a distance, which was troubling, because they could clearly see that no laws were being broken. After initially declining to speak with the police, I decided to approach them and ask why they were essentially stalking a law abiding citizen. I did not appreciate the fact that one of these trigger happy morons placed his hand on his pistol when he approached me.
Stalking! Trigger Happy morons! Not mentioned quite so much in "Nunya Beeswax's" video description: He was parading around with a rifle slung over his shoulder outside a high school, which went into lockdown because Man With Gun. Which is stupid, because duh, it's irrational to be afraid of guns, and if all the teachers were strapped, then life would be beautiful and polite.
We're not entirely sure that an armed society actually does create a polite society, considering that everyone in the video has a gun and the guy with the camera is pretty much an asshole, constantly taunting the cops so that maybe if he's really lucky, they'll violate his rights, and he'll get it on video.
The first cop, apparently dispatched after a call from the school, asks Our Hero how long he plans to be out marching around in front of the school. We're transcribing much of the exchange, since we think it would make for a fine dramatic reading, possibly by people huffing helium:
Hero: The funny thing about you asking me a question is, I'm not gonna answer it.
Cop 1: OK.
Hero: But anything I say can and will be used against me in a court of law, right?
Cop 1: Okay, that's if you were under arrest, but you're not...
Hero: Right, right. But we both know that everything you guys do is geared toward gathering evidence, am I correct?
Cop 1: That's part of what we do...
Hero, to Cop 2, who has hand resting on holstered sidearm: "You don't need to have your hand on your gun, man.
Cop 2: It's at a resting area [dude, you mean "position." Come on, sound like a cop, jeeze -- Dok Z]
Hero: It's an arresting area?
Cop 2: Resting.
Hero: Resting? Can I rest my hand on my gun?
Cop 2: You do what you feel you need to do, sir.
Hero: Are you gonna shoot me?
Cop 2: Do what you need to do.
Hero: Are you gonna shoot me?
Cop 1: Sir,It's a personal choice, OK, number one. Number two... (lost under Hero's Braveheart soliloquy)
Hero: Beh-beh-beh-Time out! I'm talking now! That shiny little badge he's got on his chest doesn't give him more rights than I have! Also, you all work for me, the taxpayers, right? So... you come over here with your hand on your gun, that's where you (inaudible) feel ill-will towards me. You know? If I was to do the same thing you'd probably pull out your gun and point it at me, am I right?
Cop 1: Sir, I'm trying to have a conversation with you.
Hero, gesturing toward Cop 2: No, I'm talking to you, tough guy. We both know that badge you're wearing there, is, you know, you think gives you more rights than the average citizen, that you supposedly work for. So you've got your hand on your gun because it's comfortable, but we both know that if I were to do something similar, you guys would pull your guns on me and maybe even shoot me.
Cop 1: That's an assumption....
Hero: What I do know is that you guys kill people across America every day of the week.
Cop 1: Actually I don't, I work in Madison Heights.
Cop one then advises Our Hero that the school administration called and said they do not want him on school property with a gun. Our Hero retorts that it's a PUBLIC school, so it belongs to the PUBLIC, which is HIM, and we half expected him to jump onto the school grounds and say look, I'm touching it, whatcha gonna do, tough guys? It's mine, I'm the public, I paid for this school. But instead, he says he's going to walk over to the police station to continue the conversation, because he doesn't want to be surrounded by cops, "because we both know you all are just chompin' at the bit to put something on me...fucking jackboots! You know what? You're a disgrace! All four of you swore an oath to the Constitution!"
We then are treated to another round of discussion about whether members of the public, who Our Hero will have you know paid for that school, are allowed to walk into a public school whenever they want to, and whether school administrators have the authority under the Constitution to keep a Free American out of the school (they only think they do because they are fascists). Goddamn hypocrites don't even understand AMERICA!
After not being arrested, Our Hero then fulminates about how the cops are just trying to find something to pin on him, then trudges to the police station (skip ahead to 5:06 in the second video), which is closed, and then at 8:20 ,he yells at a sergeant (who is also a disgrace) about the Constitution and how Our Hero is his employer. "You're a public servant, and I suggest you remember that!" We sort of thought he was going to tell the sergeant to go get him a sammich. Because cops are pathetic.
And then he re-enacted the head-crusher character from Kids In the Hall, the end!
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.