And stay there

[contextly_sidebar id="g8OB2SR3pVqLLW7VvdkPHYqox86iPgbg"]Last year, we heard some devastating whoa if true horror stories about Planned Parenthood. Undercover videos released by a group of "pro-life" terrorist-sympathizer scumbags called the Center for Medical Progress, led by cock rash James O'Keefe wannabe David Daleiden, confirmed the goriest fantasies of "pro-lifers": that the worse-than-Hitler baby butchers were tricking stupid pregnant ladies into not wanting their joy bundles, stealing babies from unsuspecting wombs, and then chop shopping them on the black market, for fun and profit and fancy sports cars.

Terrible stuff, except none of it was true. Literally, none of it.

Oh, we watched the videos, like Carly Fiorina demanded. We watched Planned Parenthood president (and all-around badass lady hero) Cecile Richards calmly testify to a congressional committee that no, Planned Parenthood is not making a trazillion dollars from selling baby parts, to build an even bigger better abortionplex. (If only. We would totally go to that abortionplex and dance in the disco there all night long.)

We watched state after state conduct investigations into Planned Parenthood clinics -- even clinics that not only don't participate in fetal tissue research, but don't even perform abortions at all -- only to be told, again, that yup, Planned Parenthood is on the up and up, doing safe and legal and affordable healthcare to ladies, like it says and like we already knew.

But here's a delicious plot twist and delightful case of Careful What You Wish For, You Miserable Fucking Fucks. The pro-lifers' evil scheme to bring down Planned Parenthood has come back to bite them right on their blood-stained hands, according to Houston Chronicle reporter Brian M. Rosenthal:

Isn't that so rain-on-your-wedding-day ironic, DON'T YOU THINK? Yeah, we really do think. Oh, would you like a cherry on top of that schadenfreude sundae? Here ya go:

And one more:

Awwww, how sad for them. All they wanted to do was undermine American women's access to affordable healthcare so they do not suffer from crotch-rot itchies or die from ladyparts cancer. They tried so hard. They stole photographs of stillborn babies. They used stock footage of miscarried fetuses and pretended they were from Planned Parenthood when they weren't. They shopped their videos around to all their "pro-life" besties in Congress and everything! And yet Planned Parenthood has been vindicated, AGAIN, while these stank-ass spunk wads are looking at decades of rotting in prison, for committing actual crimes, with very serious and even deadly consequences.

Meanwhile, Texas governor and human skidmark Greg Abbott says the state will continue to investigate Planned Parenthood for the crime of being Planned Parenthood because investigating Planned Parenthood is one of the state's favorite pastimes, after guns guns guns guns guns and more guns.

Enjoy prison, Daleiden and accomplices, if you are found guilty -- and holy tap-dancing Christ on a splintered cross, we pray that you are. And after that? Enjoy hell.

[Brian Rosenthal, Houston Chronicle]

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

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Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

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