We lost other musicians this year too, but these are the ones we're focusing on in this post, OK?

This is not a sad post. It is a commemorative post about the amazing, iconic musical artists the year 2016 murdered. (And to all those who are all het up like "Stop saying a YEAR murdered them," oh will you please shut up?) This post is also a year-end dance party, sorta kinda, with YouTube videos and things, because if you can't dance your ass into 2017, then you're never gonna dance again, OMG WE SEE WHAT WE JUST DID THERE.

Like we said, New Year's Eve is a happy time, and we want you to be happy, because Wonkette never meant to cause you any sorrow, Wonkette never meant to cause you any pain, we only wanted to one time see you laughing, OMG WE SEE WHAT WE JUST DID THERE AGIN'!

Anyway, yeah, this year did kinda suck when it comes to our beloved musical heroes leaving us, but it's good for us to remember as we reflect and look forward that we still need our heroes, and also that WE can be heroes in the coming Trump regime, just for one day, even if you're mean and we drink all the time OH GOD SOMEBODY STOP US, WE ARE BEING SO SILLY.

OK, fine, you are all Heroe-d out, and you are feeling sexxxy, because it's New Year's Eve and when that ball drops, you will be ready for your sweetheart missus or gentleman husband or poolboy to dance you to the end of love. IN THE SLOW WAY.

OH, YOU ARE FEELING SEXXXY NOW! Did somebody say they want your sexxx?


OK, now we know you might be all worried about what's going to happen in 2017, with the big orange rectum-mouth as president, and you might be wondering IS THERE LIFE ON MARS, so you can go to there instead of living on this planet? Gosh, we are getting good at inserting these song titles in the little story we are making up for you right now!

Well, NO FUCKING GOING TO MARS FOR YOU, we are sorry. Because we all have to stay here and fight for America, because you know why? It might not feel like it right now, but DEMOCRACY IS COMING TO THE U.S.A.


Now, some of you might think the year we are ending right now is 1999. That's because you are stupid. But that doesn't mean we can't party like it's 1999, GOD OUR RUNNING JOKE HERE IS SO CLEVER AND NOT GETTING OLD AT ALL.

Whatever. Like we said, this is a New Year's Eve dance party, so let's dance, HAHA WE GET THE JOKE WE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WHOLE POST!

Told you this wasn't a sad, sappy post. Share the songs from the people we've lost this year that we didn't use for our HILARIOUS POST in the comments, which will still not be allowed in 2017.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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