This Would Be A Really Great Time To Buy Some Last-Minute Christmas Presents

Oh my gosh, you forgot to buy the things! No worries, you can still buy the things. Will they get to you in time for Christmas? Anything is possible.
Come, let us travel together through the merry items in the Wonkette Bazaar, and also through soap and Sara Benincasa saying bad words. Click on the red headers for your very own link!
Say, You Know What Would Definitely Get There By Christmas? A Wonkette Subscription, 1, 2, 3, GO!
I said the red header is a link. What are you waiting for?
Wonkette Onesie for Liberal Babbies
Sexy Kittens To Put On Your Boobs
Or Your Moobs
Someone You Know Loves Coffee, Hold The Teabag
Hey look, it is PRESIDENT BOYFRIEND!
Also, there's some others.
Do You Have Your Bernie And Hillary Tees, For You And A Friend?
Do You Have Soap To Wash The Teabag Off Your Forehead?
Arguing with you is like arguing with a bar of soap
Do You Have Sara Benincasa's New Book, D.C. Trip?
She says "cunt" RIGHT IN THE TRAILER!
Therefore merry Christmas.
We love you all, wonkers y wonkerinas, ver' ver' much. Now open your wallets and let us drink your money straight from the tap.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.