The only Life On Mars we care about

Part of the reason we started our Sunday Nice Things column back in January was that the quality and quantity of deleted comments from rightwing loons had recently declined, so hey, why not collect some stuff we really enjoyed reading during the week? But we still need to muck out the deleted comments bin now and then, so for a change, this week, we'll bring you some notable idiocy from some of our visitors. Fear not, we'll get back to Nice Things next week, but as Dennis's wife said, "There's some lovely filth down 'ere!"

Our story a few weeks back about Jane Orient, MD, the science-denying doctor lady who runs about three thousand rightwing groups out of an office in Tucson, Arizona, was not at all appreciated by one "farmrdave," who wanted to let us know why we really need to listen to Doctor Who The Hell Is Jane Orient:

How about this. Believe what you re told by the UN. Listen to Algore, he knows. Give up transportation other than by bicycle. Say goodby to hot water for washing. Grow your own food or pay very high prices at the store. The end of fast food restaurants.

The country I live in is one of advancement, of productivity. Not of the "can't do crowd". I see many sea sponges out there and they seem to congregate at liberal political events and street marches.

We're honestly not sure why we have to give up our electric cars and trains, but apparently that's part of the green agenda of communism. And as any fool knows, it is UNPOSSIBLE to heat water without burning coal. Still, "Anusburgers = Liberty" is a heck of a bumper sticker slogan.

Judging by his comment history, "farmrdave" resides in Oregon, and may possibly be a fan of kooky doctor Art Robinson, who wants to collect your pee and freeze it to find the secret of longevity, and whose fringe beliefs got billionaire Robert Mercer interested in politics, thanks. He's definitely a big fan of the Bundy Family, and most of his comments tend to be about the holy Second Amendment. He even rolls out the ol' "America is not a democracy it's a CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC" trope, so you know he's legit. He had more thoughts on Real Science for us, too!

Almost forgot. Carbon dioxide, (according to science) is not the driving factor of climate changes. Our climate has always been in flux. If we do not advance our technology fast enough we will become another historic extinct species that could not live on this planet when a undesirable climate change occurs. Nothing in the known universe is static. Everything is changing. Why would anyone expect the climate not to change?

Things just happen, and that's what science is all about, don't you see?

Our story two weeks ago marking the anniversary of the assassination of Dr. George Tiller brought out a troll calling himself "ernie_oertle," who had many thoughts about many things, expressed in a decidedly creative ideolect, as linguists call the particular habits of language every person uses. Behold the unique discursive strategies of a guy who has been posting rightwing bilge so long he's created his very own clichés:

your actions will betray you are sucker to the twisted-wordings of desperate & despondent extremist manipulators, who have a million smears of Freedom&Liberty & America & not-liberals, who have you tearing-down statues(for the figurative-value of it), & have you seething AgainstTrump for .. Moooller's jurisprudence .. that .. is .. upside-down. But for your manipulators, it is important you don't notice. Moooller has it not that Trump did commit a crime, but that Trump should be charged because SaintMueller can't prove Trump ..didn't.. commit a crime. And, being outrage-mob reactionaries, you won't ponder what the manipulators are doing to you & our constitutional-republic.

Big fan of adding-hyphens and EliminatingSpaces for rhetorical effect, he is. It's like poor Dr. Bronner joined a John Birch Society chapter. Oh look, more!

  • Site`Wonkette'. Just another nihilistic leftist s h!thole. What? there is like .. about 50-60! of these sites. And all of these college-credentialed flop-fools who can't figure fascism's fake-out & re-set themselves for Freedom&Liberty. By-golly, they will get-even w/ their parents & their grandparents AND, … their great-grandparents, …. by willfully shipping the civilization down.
  • Well of-course this BS will continue unabated. It is not just that the Russians & the Sorosis monkeys have trillions invested in Obamawrecking theRepublic -- you have several tens-of-millions of your fellow countrymen committed to a manic unhinge of ending AmericanExceptionalism, & blaming this impending human catastrophe on their parents & their grandparents & their great-grandparents for the terrible terrible lie & criminal-entity that theUSA .. was. .. And being liberals, they will fix all that. .. Or, that sounds like a lot of work so maybe it'll fix itself. Their job is just to tear it down. .. Or, liberal notions being what they are - they are SURE human-nature is basically Good, & all of these new friends diversity/multi-culti libs are making, from China & from EuroSocialist lands & very intense latinos w/ import/export experience, nice people from islamic lands, & Hispanic peoples who say they really want to work but are looking forward to being free.... to take some time off, …. & a proper blanking of Christianity can be accomplished, & the Rich will at-last be properly taxed, & Trump-deplorables will be subject to proper punishment for their RAYZIZM & also pay higher taxes -- so, everything is planned. Everything will be all good. There will be concerts & free dope!!!!! And old people will be .. term-limited.
  • Leftism has compromised the moral-bearing of a whole sub-culture, as they are now doing to immigrants. Leftism is cunningly bamboozling a vote-stealing scheme to get illegals on a contra-ethical path where the very societal-system they are entering into encourages them to disregard right-&-wrong. They cross a border that they cannot possibly NOT know is breaking a law. And they do it because they have been led to believe there is a political bedmate here - theDemocratParty - who is revisioning the notion in WesternCivilization of what is right-&-wrong, that right-&-wrong are not absolutes like theChurch always taught, but right-&-wrong are a folly & conceit that wiffly can be dodged & not-obliged. This is the wider scope `progressivism' (& I take it `liberation-theology' in their homelands, & `taqiyah' if muslim) is having on civilization = nothing is unethical anymore.

Dilute! Dilute! Mother cat teaches her kittens Moral MAGA!

Dude really doesn't like people who went to college, either. In response to a comment about how rightwingers in the '60s totally missed the point of the Beatles' "Back In the USSR," "ernie" offered this critique:

No intention of college being a place to learn a vocation & enhance values, it'll be solely for political-indoctrination. The dip-wad-yoots think it'll be a place of dope & drugs & debauchery, but the poli-commissars & the imams will disabuse them of that !

Back in the USSA. --- You don't know how lucky you are boy,

is what the imams & commissars will be telling them.

Why do I believe so many frequenters on here, have no clue what I'm referencing?

But as left-wingers, all the totalitarians are deriding & disparaging & pillorying Amerika, & you love it! You readily join in the tearing down. You WANT your home to be humiliated & trashed. Here in the early 21stCentury, leftism's coupling w/ Misleadia-marketing has raised its SNL-style popularity among the fantasizers, while masking its wickedness of civilizational direction.

Not just dope, but drugs, too! And he's seen My Cousin Vinny, so he's definitely in touch with the zeitgeist.

Poor "ernie" was also very angry at Wonkette for publishing too much content, because obviously the dozen or so pieces we run on any given day are an attempt to drown out the thoughts of constitutional-conservatives like him:

  • Speak of `spinning so fast', I frequently return to BonkersWonkette & have trouble locating articles & reading fascist-counters to my own comments -- because Alinskyites have moved on so quickly. It seems a general strateegery of leftists prop-pubs, to FLOOD the arena w/ more & more & more & more urgent propaganda, w/ not one but several articles about a subject keeping stir-teams of Satanistic sozialist ..wonks.. swamped w/ slog, conniving like witches at cauldrons, to reach more & more extremist anti-American AgainstTrump gyrations.
  • How many articles concoctions & contrivances PER DAY do Wonkette-propagandists pedantics & stoolies circumstantially lever into these pages? My guesstimation is - about 40 fresh prevarications a day

Pretty interesting complaint from a guy who just can't stop pouring out words, but what do I know? I'm just a prog-left pedantic college-intoxictrinated OBAMAOshill with a tearingDownAmerica-Agenda.

Finally, our post on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her socialist scheme to provide free birth control was visited by a pair of sockpuppet accounts for someone who appears to fancy himself the wingnut Dorothy Parker, or perhaps the rightwing William Topaz McGonagall. The accounts, "Lone Ranger" and "Josey Wales" post this shit all over the web; looks like most of this person's output is accumulated copypasta, but a few couplets appear to be original compositions for Wonkette. Regardless, any objective critic would have to admit: The shit rhymes, mostly. Here are some samples from both accounts; we won't differentiate because the doofus posted some of their works, like the first example, under both names before getting the banhammer.

Never in history has a welfare state survived and while you
Obamites are taking orders
The states that collapsed FIRST are the ones—that's right—that
have OPEN borders !!!
Ah...Shep Smith--the gay poster child of blaspheming Dims and the token gay on
Suckering loser Dimwits everyday because yes they ARE dumber than a slow
ox !!!
Why no Obama--the water's just fine--get in this bathhouse pool real quick
And you KNOW as usual you will not have to pay--bend over and... !!!
Obama said he didn't know how he himself "focused on common ground" more—was it by stealing $500 BIL from whites' medicare for freeloading blacks
Or mayhaps was it his trying to encode that theft in black racist Obamacare statutes so he and bribe-taking John Roberts could both keep doing crack !!!
You might be insane if you go duck hunting with a rake and
think medicare can be "free for all"
And you might be insane if you bleach your ILLEGAL (I made
$145 MIL) server but just can't recall
And you might be insane if you
kneel like an ingrate while patriots are dying to keep us all free
But you know you're insane if you
favor killing babies but allow ILLEGALS to vote without an ID !!!
The Godless Dims doubled down on UNAmerican stupid and were
oblivious aplenty
That they were overwhelmingly DOA and permanently going away
come election 2020 !!!

Needless to say, there was also the ritual cri de butthurt about liberal censorship, because libs can't handle the TRUTH!

The little Obamite turds were at a loss for words trying to
counter the Lone Ranger and the TRUTH
FACTS passed them by as they told Obama lies—all STILL plainly
and sadly clueless without a tooth !!!

We'll close with what appears to be his own attempt at an epic, which you can find all over the web because comments sections are sort of like the Norton Anthology of Poetry, if it had no moderation policy at least. It too was posted under both accounts, because it's just that good.

Here's lies Obama…
made very bad choices like his mama…put three generations all of 20

Was always
wrong and never in doubt and was as corrupt and immoral as any American black
racist yet

He was
wrong on Trayvon--wrong on Michael--wrong to prop up black racist AGs to NOT
prosecute blacks

He and
Moochelle liked to dress in $5,000-posh outfits while poor black Americans kept
doing bad crack

He and
Killiary murdered the Benghazi four and callously dared us to question what
difference does it make

And his
legacy with Iran was to give them 150 billion in blood money and help them make
that yellow cake

course he WILL be remembered for robbing whites for deadbeat blacks with
abysmally failed Obamacare

And for
his embracing murdering jihadists God has a special place for him below…NO
honest American will care !!!

Won't America be a grand place when Real Americans are finally in charge of the culture?

Have yourselves a fine Sunday and we promise to return next weekend with Nice Things. As a palate-cleanser, please enjoy a small version of the Mighty A'Tuin, a bouncy bouncy silly pet rat, and the best excuse for not going to work EVER.

"Sorry, can't make it to the office. I'm catted today."

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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