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Your First Exciting Batch Of Paultardpalooza Photos!

Now that your Wonkette has napped and commenced working on Drunkenness #3 of the day, it's time for our first batch of Paultardpalooza photos! Here are some of the best Paultards we saw at the Ron Paul Rally, at the Capitol, courtesy of Wonkette Natty-Bo Operative "Taylor."


Our first non-racial transcendence of the day.

This fucker ran up to us before we even entered the Capitol's west lawn, and immediately began asking our members if we were With The Government. We told him we all were. Are we?

QUICK, POLICE: THE PAULTARDS CAPTURED AN ATTRACTIVE GIRL.

Look: This Paultard is his own uncle.

And now begins a section without comment called "No Teeth," which aptly describes at least one of these:

Thus concludes the "No Teeth" section. Who got $5 for having sex with one of them?

A Patriot (Jesus).

A Muslim.

A transsexual.

Jesus' wife, Cleopatra.

Can I GET A FUCKING CUP OF WATER AT THIS RALLY instead of READ THE LONGEST SHITTIEST BOOK EVER?

More photos to come, including those of your Roving Gang of Wonkette Drunks.

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Screenshot, CNN

If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell. And if that doesn't work, just make shit up.

Talking hairpiece Jay Sekulow went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to barf out the latest Trumpland nonsense on the Russian WITCH HUNT. Remember way back in May, 2017 when Donald Trump told Lester Holt about that hilarious time he fired James Comey to murder the Russia investigation?

"I was going to fire Comey knowing there's no good time to do it. And in fact when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won.'"

Did you think that meant he actually fired Comey TO MURDER THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION? Watch and learn, kids!

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In the words of the great Tammy Wynette, sometimes it's hard to be a woman. This week has been such a time for many of us out there, what with the impending prospect of seeing yet another sex predator who wants to take away our reproductive rights getting confirmed to the highest court in the land. Oh, it's almost like we, and our bodily autonomy, don't even matter at all.

Thankfully, several conservative columnists have graciously taken the time to explain to the rest of us why we should stand by their man. Not for his good, but for our own. Because it will be empowering. So come on gals, let's switch out our sneakers for pumps like the the working gals in 1980s movies, set up our desk salads, and just really lean in to see what they have to say!

First up, we've got Catherine Glenn Foster over at The Federalist, who wants us to know that losing our reproductive rights will empower us beyond our wildest dreams, according to the actual title of her essay.

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