Your Boyfriend Hot Miles Is 'Anonymous,' And Now You Must Dump Him
Well well well. Well well well well well. WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL WELL.
George Conway tweeted this thing earlier about how he had just talked to Anonymous, who wrote that article and book about how they were part of the resistance inside the Trump administration that was totally curbing Trump's "worst" instincts. "Ugh," we thought, "if we are about to find out it was Kellyanne this whole time, then fuck Anonymous."
It wasn't Kellyanne. It was your boyfriend Miles Taylor, the former Trump Department of Homeland Security chief of staff who resigned and then started spilling alllllllll the tea about what Trump is really like. It was him the whole time. Now he's just Miles, and we don't have to call him "Anonymous" anymore. Got it? He has a name, you guys, OK?
He also has a Medium post 'splaining why he is not "Anonymous" anymore. You can read it you want (it is TL;DR).
We have indeed enjoyed all the beans Taylor has been spilling the past few months, like here and here and here and here and here. He has been full of breaking news scoops about Trump trying to sell three million Puerto Ricans and Trump getting utterly confused in the Situation Room and how Trump seems like he plays on the Russian team and not the American team and how Trump literally (almost literally) wanted to put babies on spikes at the border or something. Also the alligators and snakes Trump actually literally wanted in the moat he wanted to build at the border.
He did an ad for Republican Voters Against Trump. It was a good ad.
But for some reason, we don't feel like talking about this anymore.
Oh well. Hello, "Anonymous," if that is even your real name, just kidding it isn't, because it is "Miles."
By the way, NBC News's Jacob Soboroff, who specializes in news of Trump snatching babies at the border, would like to point something out about your boyfriend, something that might make you reconsider your life choices:
Miles Taylor was a critical part of the team that decided to separated thousands of migrant kids from their parents… https://t.co/T25JRCk7Jm— Jacob Soboroff (@Jacob Soboroff) 1603914170.0
In summary and in conclusion, you have broken up with Miles Taylor and Jacob Soboroff is your new boyfriend. It was always going to end up like that anyway, because Jacob Soboroff is ADORBS.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!
GIVE IT WONKETTE. We mean money. Thank you.