Your Saturday Open Thread Wants You To Be A Velociraptor!
A few of you have asked that open threads on Saturdays be something that none of you actually want to talk about. Thus, I figured this week I would try something new and maybe just kick these off with whatever weird shit I find on the internet. Which you will be happy to know, for now, is not a bunch of pictures and videos of particularly creepy reborn dolls. Although, be assured, I have many on file.
This week, I bring you a hypnosis video that is supposed to convince you that you are a velociraptor. Because why not?
I don't know why this exists, but there are tons of them for pretty much every possible animal, both real and imaginary. Like, you could also be a centaur if you wanted.
If that's not a permanent enough change for you, there are about 45,000 "spells" on YouTube that claim to turn you into a mermaid, along with many people insisting that these spells did indeed help them become mermaids. I am skeptical.
Even if it does work, the side effects (so you know it's working!) seem like a poor time. Rashes? NO THANKS.
Anywho -- enjoy your open thread, and feel free to let me know if either of these works for you in the comments! Also feel free to throw some money at Wonkette with your tiny velociraptor hands, if you are able!
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse