Seditionist senator say what about Kamala Harris and hot dog stands and "Canucks"?

It's a short, stupid clip, but it's just more Republican bitching about how Kamala Harris refuses to personally go to the Mexican border and punch migrants in the face the way Republicans like. He's asking, can you imagine if somebody put Vice President Harris in charge of a hot dog stand and she refused to go to the hot dog stand but instead went to Canada?

Haw haw, Ted Cruz thinks he is making very funny analogies. Also we guess he thinks he can call Canadians "canucks," because of how he's Canada's worst export.


Of course, Republicans are inveterate liars, and Ted Cruz is the inveterat-est of them all. Vice President Harris isn't in "charge of" the border, per se, therefore Cruz's analogy is bullshit.

As Wonkette typed correctly last month:

President Joe Biden made Vice President Kamala Harris the point person on the border issues, and according to her office, her more precise job is to "engage Mexico and the Northern Triangle to address the root causes of migration and to oversee the flow and use of U.S. aid." From the very beginning it's been that. They've been saying it's about the "root causes" since Biden announced it.

But let's be real here: Fox News and the GOP wouldn't be happy unless Vice President Harris joined one of those redneck border militias, the ones that steal the bottled water that kind humans leave for migrants crossing the border. They wouldn't be happy unless she personally set up a baby-snatching booth at the crossing in Reynosa, to personally snatch some babies out of their mommies' arms. None of Harris's actual responsibilities have anything to do with whatever "BROWN FOLK ALERT!" Fox News is shitting its Underoos over.

If Ted Cruz weren't such an inveterate liar, he would be bitching that Kamala Harris isn't doing enough to his liking to investigate the ROOT CAUSES of hot dog stands.

Anyway, Ted Cruz is a piece of shit, let's find another example:

Oh no, Ted Cruz is upset because he can't get his Jesus chicken sauces to rub all over his body or whatever he does with them, and he's blaming that on Joe Biden? 'Kay.

Of course, restaurants have been having all kinds of sauce shortages lately, and it predates the inauguration of Joe Biden by a long fuckin' time. It's because of the pandemic, they've had to take the sauces away from the tables and use GABILLIONS MORE of the little packets. Ta-da! Shortage.

But what's that we were just saying about how Ted Cruz is an inveterate liar? Whatever it was, we were likely correct.

As JoeMyGod reports, this is just the latest wingnut double-dildo freakout session about a non-issue wrapped in a lie. The Fox News version of the story uses the headline "Chick-fil-A sauce shortage blamed on 'Joe Biden's America'." Of course if you click on the story, the only people blaming it on "Joe Biden's America" are Ted Cruz and other minimum-IQ Americans like Rep. Lauren Boebert (Q-CO), Matt Schlapp, and Missouri GOP Attorney General Eric Schmitt.

And you know what? We don't care. We hope these losers cry a lot about having no sauces for their Bigot Chicken, and once the sauces come back to Chick-Fil-A that they find something useless and imaginary to cry harder about ASAP.

We'd hate for them to run out of fake things to cry about, that's what we're saying. Their pitiful, malignant brains would explode if they ever had to deal with a real grown-up issue facing America.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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