Your Weekly Top Ten Does Not Want To Think About Anthony Weiner's Dick Right Now
Hey-o, Saturday Wonkers, oh Jesus fuck, and we got our Cocktober Surprise, it is somehow Anthony Weiner rubbing all over Hillary Clinton's email "scandal." Don't you want to read about Anthony Weiner's dick a whole bunch more? OF COURSE NOT! But do read that link to get caught up on what's going on. And now we will get moving on our weekly top ten post, before Weiner Dicked Hillary.
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YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. Look a story about how Jimmy John's is evil. It is from 2014, but that doesn't mean it's not still true!
2. Guys, we're pretty sure Joe Biden thinks Donald Trump is fucking stupid.
3. This Dinesh D'Souza tweet was too gross even for Dinesh D'Souza. OR WAS IT?
4. If this amazing Hillary Clinton ad doesn't make you cry, you are DEAD INSIDE.
5. Uh oh, there are two more Hillary scandals! Besides the one about Weiner's weiner! They are soooo bad, just kidding no they're not.
6. Trump's idiot campaign manager Kellyanne Conway wants more debates, because Donald Trump is so good at debates.
7. This "alt-right" dude is inside ladies' dreams, watching them have dream sex with Donald Trump!
8. Oprah needs to SPLAIN something to you dumb "undecided voters" out there.
9. Is Donald Trump just completely fucking OVER running for president at this point? Maybe not now, since there is a dumb new Hillary #email scandal!
10. And finally, last week's Deleted Comments was something about Wonkette's crackhead pretense of liberalism or something.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!
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OK now go away, and stay away from Anthony Weiner's cock, for it is dangerous and gross.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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