Yep.


Hola, Wonkerinos, it is us, yr Wonket, doing your top ten stories at your face, because it is Saturday morning. We are also showing you new pictures of Wonkette Baby Donna Rose, who is a firefighter now. And we figure you want to watch the video of her as a zebra again, so it is still right here:

OK let's do the top ten stories, but before we do that, can we lovingly ask you, that if you lovingly love Wonkette in the loving way, won't you toss us $5, $10, or $25 as a special love gift? It is the easiest. You pull out your wallet and you give us money. And you look at the traditional Wonk baby lion picture while you do that, BECAUSE WONKETTE BABY IS A FIREFIGHTER AND A ZEBRA AND A LION. Quite the multi-tasker, that one.

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.

Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!

1. The first Juanita Broaddrick story. We took a lot of flack for it, but it's still the number one story of the week, so here it is. We also published another story in which some things were clarified and some things were apologized for. It is the #7 story, but hell, we will stick it right here too.

2. The guy who makes these comics REALLY gets women.

3. Fox News got SO MAD at Obama and Hillary for constantly forcing Trump to be a dumbass.

4. These bigot diners took a brave stand against this server they mistook for a foreigner.

5. We got canvassed by a Jill Stein guy! It didn't go well for him! This story has been in the top ten for three thousand weeks now!

6. Why would Donald Trump want to "get out the vote"? What does that even mean, don't the people just show up and elect him president?

7. Juanita Broaddrick story #2. 

8. Yr Wonkette and our brother Adam wrote stupid amazing dumb-mazing fan fiction about swimmy mcswimmerstein Michael Phelps.

9. Those "Fox & Friends" idiots found a deliciously wonderful new app, where Trump is already the president!

10. And finally, Frail Old Hillary Clinton shattered a hip in Scranton and is probably dead now, or something, according to the right wing media.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!

OK, Wonkers, you have one task left, and it is an important one. You need to sign up for clean wind and/or solar from Arcadia Power. It takes three minutes and a few bucks a month. If you pay the power bill at your house or apartment, you can use Arcadia Power, no matter which terrible PG&E services your hood. The EPA says it works, you will help stop climate change, and your Wonkette gets a small cut! Let's help you help us help the earth! (And us.)

If you REALLY need another task, look at another picture of Wonk Baby The Firefighter while you give us more money.

Oh, and sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT NOW WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Love,

Wonket

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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