We told you last week that this week's top ten post would probably have a SURPRISE in it, and we did not lie! It was not a surprise to us, of course, because we know all the things.

Longtime readers know that yr Memphis Wonkette right here has a Wonkette Niece named Evelyn, who would you believe it is almost SIX now? Well, her baby sister Izzy was born this past Sunday morning, and therefore you get BABY PICTURES. Also, you may now bestow your thanks upon Izzy, because we are pretty sure her birth is the real reason we are finally impeaching Donald Trump. (True story: We said "Donald Trump" to her and she made a pterodactyl sound. She might have been farting at the time.)

Anyway, you get BABY PICTURES. But you have to read your top ten stories first before you get more!

Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Also, have you been to the Wonkette Flea Market lately, in order to find some rare finds? We have all kinds of merches, like t-shirts and coffee cups featuring your favorite candidates, and also just Wonkette-branded swag. Maybe there is some you do not have! GO FIND OUT.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Trump GRRRR SO MAD! Let's Read The Whistleblower Complaint That's Making Him GRRRR SO MAD!

9. Chuck Todd Did Journalism On Biden 'Ukrainium One' Story, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH CHUCK TODD?

8. The GOP Knows Damn Well That Donald Trump Ordered That Code Red


6. Grifty Jacob Wohl Has Some Hot Tips On Being Manly And Whatnot

5. Trump: NO UKRAINE CRIMES! NO UKRAINE CRIMES! OK Here Are My Ukraine Crimes.

4. Trump Crime-Bosses Ukrainian President To His Face On Live TV, Very Legal And Very Cool!

3. NANCY DON'T FAIL US NOW! Your Nancy Pelosi Trump Impeachment Liveblog!

2. Trump Insists That It's Illegal To Investigate His Crimes, Figures That Everyone Will Just Go Along With It

1. This Morning's DNI Hearing Gonna Drive Trump BATSHIT. A Liveblog!

Those are good stories!

Ready for one million more baby pictures?

Happy uncle:


Everybody is happy and healthy and wonderful, so that is the good news. There isn't any bad news, except for how OH FUCK THERE'S TWO OF THEM NOW.

Also, Wonkette Baby/Toddler/Grown Woman Donna Rose, daughter of your editrix, would like to cut into this post real fast to let you know that it's still mostly all about her, so here are some FASHIONISTA pics:

OK that's all, go with God, etc.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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