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this young child already understands that Devin Nunes is A IDIOT


Good morning and good weekend, Wonkers! It is time for the top ten post, where we count down the top ten posts of the week, ask you for money to keep this place going, and show you Wonkette toddler pictures. Like the one above, of Wonkette Toddler with a knowing look on her face, because she knows Devin Nunes is A Idiot. Oh my god this week, it literally killed us, and now we are dead because Devin Nunes wasted our whole week with his bullshit memo. So, as usual, making this brief!

Oh hey, REMINDER: Hey Long Beach, what it do! We are going to be in your town Monday night and we'd love to throw pizza and beer at you. DETAILS HERE.

So anyway ... let's ask you for money! You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it's 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860 (new P.O box address! Update your address book!). Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

For instance, you could BUY ALL THE HATS! One says "IMPEACH!" (See below.) The others say "HELL. NO." AND "LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE 2020." Click here for more info!

There are many other products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store! You should buy them!

Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Wonkette Investigates: What Is Up With Chanel Rion, Traditional Dinner-Making Fiancée Of Courtland Sykes? It is a mystery!

2. Tim Allen And Adam Carolla To Produce Searing Documentary About Their Own Irrelevance In Modern America. Even though it is a very serious topic, they can't help but make it a funny film!

3. New York Times Takes Break From Kissing Trump’s Ass, Kisses Melania’s Ass Instead. We continue to have no fucking idea what is going on at NYT.

4. Ohhhhhhh, Hope Hicks! What Have You Done?!?!?! HOPE! HOPE, YOU ARE YOUR ONLY HOPE! HOPE!

5. Paul Ryan Was A Testy Little Prick Today. Honestly, he was a testy little prick ALL WEEK.

6. Dumb Stupid Devin Nunes Memo Makes One Guy Look REAL BAD, And That Guy Is Donald Trump! It sure does, and that was before we even read the damn thing!

7. I Can’t Believe I Used To Think Paul Manafort Was The Boring One, HOLY JESUS SHIT! We all used to think it! We all were WRONG.

8. Deleted Comments: One Of Those Weeks Where The Bigots Forgot What Their Own Slurs Mean. Sad!

9. Everything On Fire At FBI Now (It Is A Metaphorical Fire, Not, Like, The Reichstag. But Maybe That Too!) And it is even more on fire now!

10. U R CORDIALY INVITED 2 TRUMMP VERY GUD STAE OF UNIOM SPECH TOMOROW NITE OK? IT WAS BEST SPECH!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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OK bye.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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