Oh hey, TOP TEN POST! Oof, we are tired. Can we just say nothing to you besides hey look, Wonkette Toddler got a haircut, isn't that cute, and just tell you the top ten stories of the week?

Yes we can, because we are the boss of you.

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Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. VINDICATED! Donald Trump Didn't Do ANY Crimes That One Time! (Perhaps! Allegedly! MAYBE.)

9. If These Aren't Nice Things, I Don't Know What Is!

8. The Week In Garbage Humans: It Has Been A TERFy Ass Week

7. Tucker Carlson Explains Cold Weather Breaks Wind

6. Ralph Northam Continues Digging Self Into Michael Jackson Shaped Hole

5. Tulsi Gabbard Being Weird As Fuck Again

4. Trump Data Guru Idiot Brad Parscale: No Srsly, A Idiot!

3. We Read All 284 Pages Of BuzzFeed's Trump Tower Moscow Documents, And Now We Hate Everybody In This Story

2. Let's Liveblog Nancy Pelosi's Facial Expressions While Some Dipshit Pretends To Be President

1. Dad Who Natural Remedied Child To Death Would Like To Sell You Some Natural Remedies

There you go! Those are good stories!

OK that's it, GOODBYE.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
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