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Oh hey, TOP TEN POST! Oof, we are tired. Can we just say nothing to you besides hey look, Wonkette Toddler got a haircut, isn't that cute, and just tell you the top ten stories of the week?

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Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. VINDICATED! Donald Trump Didn't Do ANY Crimes That One Time! (Perhaps! Allegedly! MAYBE.)

9. If These Aren't Nice Things, I Don't Know What Is!

8. The Week In Garbage Humans: It Has Been A TERFy Ass Week

7. Tucker Carlson Explains Cold Weather Breaks Wind

6. Ralph Northam Continues Digging Self Into Michael Jackson Shaped Hole

5. Tulsi Gabbard Being Weird As Fuck Again

4. Trump Data Guru Idiot Brad Parscale: No Srsly, A Idiot!

3. We Read All 284 Pages Of BuzzFeed's Trump Tower Moscow Documents, And Now We Hate Everybody In This Story

2. Let's Liveblog Nancy Pelosi's Facial Expressions While Some Dipshit Pretends To Be President

1. Dad Who Natural Remedied Child To Death Would Like To Sell You Some Natural Remedies

There you go! Those are good stories!

OK that's it, GOODBYE.

Love,

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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In a move that has media watchers scratching their heads, CNN has hired Sarah Isgur, a Republican political consultant who served as Jeff Sessions's official spokesperson, as a political editor for the network. Isgur (formerly Isgur-Flores) has no journalism experience at all, so as is only logical, she will "coordinate political coverage for the 2020 campaign," according to Politico. No, really. A major network's coverage of an entire election will be massaged by a partisan whose only experience with the news business has been as a press flack for one party's candidates. EXCELLENT CHOICE, CNN, now maybe Donald Trump will start respecting you finally.

Oh, except Trump reportedly can't stand Isgur because she said lots of mean things about him while she was Carly Fiorina's deputy campaign manager, and even after Fiorina dropped out, like when she said on Twitter, "Saying you will criminally prosecute your political opponent when you win is a scary and dangerous threat." So who even knows what sort of weird catshit parasites are eating the brain of whoever at CNN thought this would be a great hire.

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