Donate

So hey yeah, we were not here part of the week, which you probably noticed through your tears. We had our wisdom teeth out for the first (and hopefully the last!) time finally, at age 39. We never did it before, because they fit! But the dentist was like "let's get this crap out of your face" and we were like "OK here is all my money" and now they are gone. And that is the story of this week. Did we miss anything?

Oh hey look above, it is Wonkette Toddler wearing some socks with bees on 'em what were given to her by Wonker "Will." She says thank you (we assume) and would like more gifts please (we guarantee).

Speaking of gifts! Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Also, have you been to the Wonkette Flea Market lately, in order to find some rare finds? We have all kinds of merches, like t-shirts and coffee cups featuring your favorite candidates, and also just Wonkette-branded swag. Maybe there is some you do not have! GO FIND OUT.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. In Case You Haven't Heard, We're Impeaching The Motherfucker

9. All They Owe Ioway: Scenes From The State Fair

8. What Do Millennial Snowflakes Know About Fascists, Shootings, And Death? An Idiot Asks, We Answer!

7. Draw Us A Pete Buttigieg, Win All The Prizes!

6. Milwaukee Teens Do Anti-ICE Art, Freak Out The Squares

5. Trump Suckup Bill Mitchell Pulls Grifty Bait And Switch, Shocking Several

4. Jeffrey Epstein Was Trash And Now He's Dead.

3. The Week In Garbage Men: Isn't Lipstick Just Like Wearing A Boner On Your Face?

2. Some Republicans Not Sure What The Cowfuck Devin Nunes Is Even Doing These Days

1. Sue Gordon's Resignation Letter To Trump Is Best 'Fuck You' Since ... Wait, Who's Sue Gordon Again?

Those are good stories! Mostly about awful things!

OK that's all, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette


assets.rbl.ms


Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

Wonkette is ad-free and funded ONLY by YOU, our dear readers. Click below to keep the lights on, please. We appreciate you, most of the time.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc