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OK just fooling, we PERSONALLY do not have a new baby dog, as Lula, who is 15, would not permit that. She is queen of her castle and though she enjoys play dates and sleepovers with other dogs, her house is HER HOUSE.

But your editrix got one! Her name is Emma and she shits a lot, according to every time Rebecca has said "BRB gotta go clean up puppy shit" in the secret chatcave this week.

Here is a video, from which the ACTION SHOT of the dogs playing above came:

YAY DOGS!


OK, now shall we count down the top ten stories of the week? Yes, we shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. FUCKING GIVE IT, BILL BARR

9. We Are All Kasie Hunt's Face Trying To Figure Out WTF George Papdopoulos Is Talking About

8. Paul Manafort Celebrates 70th Birthday With Loved Ones, APRIL FOOLS HE'S IN PRISON

7. Yr Wonkette Has The Complete Unredacted NICE THINGS Report!

6. QAnon Idiots Finally Go Too Far, Accuse Kate Bush Of Murder

5. The Dumbest Shit Trump Said About Windmills Last Night, From 'Cancer' To 'REEER! REEER!'

4. Let's Watch A Freshman Democrat Smack Mike Pompeo Around And Make Him SO MAD!

3. Trump Really Wants To Give You Mueller Report, But It's Under Audit And He Doesn't Want To

2. FUCKFEST IN UTAH, Y'ALL!

1. Get Your Popcorn Out, It's Time To Watch Alex Jones Make An Even Bigger Fool Of Himself Than Usual!

Hooray, those are good stories!

Let's see, anything else? Not unless Rebecca decides to pop more puppy pix in this post.

OK that's it.

Go with God!

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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In this increasingly polarized society we live in, it's hard to find any kind of consensus on anything -- but one would think that there would still be a few things here and there that we could all agree upon. One also might assume that one of those things would be "drinking bleach is a bad idea."

But if one were to do that, they would be wrong. Because the Genesis II Church is holding a seminar today in Washington State in order to promote the use of a substance they call "Miracle Mineral Solution," which they consider a miracle cure for every disease on earth, and which the FDA and anyone who can read ingredients would consider "industrial bleach."

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This past November, far right dingbat Laura Loomer was finally kicked off of Twitter after tweeting a bunch of crazy ass hateful shit about Minnesota Congresswoman Ilhan Omar. To put it mildly, she was not happy about it. In fact, she kind of lost her fucking mind (what was left of it anyway) and ended up handcuffing herself to Twitter headquarters in order to protest the ban. She's been yelling about it ever since -- though since she's not on Twitter, few have even noticed.

Filled with desperation and with nowhere else left to turn, she is bringing her case to court and suing Twitter in hopes that a judge and jury will force the social media company to give her back her account so that she can continue to use it to scream horrible things about Muslim people all day long. This is what she is currently doing on Instagram, where she just recently went on a charming rant all about how much she hates Reps. Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar (yes, again), stating that Islam is a "cancer" and that "Muslims should not be allowed to seek positions of political office in this country. It should be illegal."

With statements like that, it is hard to believe that Twitter, or anyone, for that matter, would not be thrilled to have a normal human person like Laura Loomer on their site.

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