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OK just fooling, we PERSONALLY do not have a new baby dog, as Lula, who is 15, would not permit that. She is queen of her castle and though she enjoys play dates and sleepovers with other dogs, her house is HER HOUSE.

But your editrix got one! Her name is Emma and she shits a lot, according to every time Rebecca has said "BRB gotta go clean up puppy shit" in the secret chatcave this week.

Here is a video, from which the ACTION SHOT of the dogs playing above came:

YAY DOGS!


OK, now shall we count down the top ten stories of the week? Yes, we shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. FUCKING GIVE IT, BILL BARR

9. We Are All Kasie Hunt's Face Trying To Figure Out WTF George Papdopoulos Is Talking About

8. Paul Manafort Celebrates 70th Birthday With Loved Ones, APRIL FOOLS HE'S IN PRISON

7. Yr Wonkette Has The Complete Unredacted NICE THINGS Report!

6. QAnon Idiots Finally Go Too Far, Accuse Kate Bush Of Murder

5. The Dumbest Shit Trump Said About Windmills Last Night, From 'Cancer' To 'REEER! REEER!'

4. Let's Watch A Freshman Democrat Smack Mike Pompeo Around And Make Him SO MAD!

3. Trump Really Wants To Give You Mueller Report, But It's Under Audit And He Doesn't Want To

2. FUCKFEST IN UTAH, Y'ALL!

1. Get Your Popcorn Out, It's Time To Watch Alex Jones Make An Even Bigger Fool Of Himself Than Usual!

Hooray, those are good stories!

Let's see, anything else? Not unless Rebecca decides to pop more puppy pix in this post.

OK that's it.

Go with God!

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
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3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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