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OK HI WONKERS WE ARE BUSY because we have a really big weekend of concert festival-ing ahead of us, starting with last night (which is "tonight" for us, since we write this on "Friday"). By the time you read this, we will have already attended CHVRCHES and Dave Matthews Band shows, and also we don't know what else. And if you are the type of person who judges people for going to Dave shows, we are the type of person who literally does not fucking care what you think.

Anyway, TOP TEN POST! And pictures of the Wonkette Toddler, who is literally a model now!

But before we count down the stories, your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Who's Trump Trying To Get Killed Today? Doctors, Nurses, New Moms Get Your Bulletproof Vests

9. Open Thread: Let's Talk About The False Dmitris!

8. RUSSIA, IF YOU'RE LISTENING ...

7. Let's Mock Jacob Wohl Some More, Because Fuck That Guy

6. Rod Rosenstein Crashes The Plane

5. Oh Nothing, Just The FOX NEWS JUDGE Calling Trump A Fucking Criminal

4. Even Fox News Hates Fox News Now

3. Pack It In Ladies, This Incredible Douche Has Determined That Feminism Has FAILED

2. Mazie Hirono Dickpunches Bill Barr In The Teeth, Doesn't Even Say 'Aloha'

1. Hey Bill Barr! Robert Mueller Is PISSED. You Got Somethin' To Fuckin' Say For Yourself?

Hooray, those are very good stories!

More pics of the fashion model Wonkette Toddler:

OK that's all, goodbye, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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