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OH HEY WONKERS! It is late on Friday afternoon as we type you this and it took us one hundred hours to write that damn Elizabeth Warren post, so we are going to make this brief for "it's our weekend too" purposes. This is your top ten post. That right there above is a dinosaur. OR IS IT WONKETTE TODDLER DONNA ROSE? Who can say!


We'll count down the top ten stories of the week in a sec, but first MONEY PARAGRAPH, which you should take extra seriously this time because there MIGHT be more dinosaur pictures at the end of this post. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860 (new P.O box address! Update your address book!). Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, which is totally different from a dinosaur:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Donna Brazile Wrote A Thing. Oh. She did. And it was bad.

2. Sarah Huckabee Sanders THROUGH With Uppity Black Lady Reporters And Their So-Called ‘Questions.' Shut up, white lady.

3. Robert Mueller Ready To Throw Somebody In Fucking JAIL, Y’ALL! The only kind of news we don't mind coming back on a Friday night to write.

4. TELL US SOME HORSESHIT, SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS! A liveblog of the first White House press briefing after THE INDICTMENTS.

5. Oh No, Sean Hannity Shit His Pants. And it was GROSS. Hannity's first show after THE INDICTMENTS.

6. Everybody In White House (Including Trump!) Hates Jared Kushner And His Stupid Shit-Mouthed Face. Gonna be funny when they start pretending they don't know the president's son-in-law!

7. Happy Birthday Ivanka LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Luv Robert Mueller. Hey it's not our fault Ivanka's birthday was the same day as THE INDICTMENTS.

8. Who Wore This Red Wedding Dress Best? Katy Tur Or Katy Tur? SPOILER it was Katy Tur.

9. Who Did Halloween The Worst? Megyn Kelly Or Megyn Kelly? SPOILER it was Megyn Kelly.

10. And finally, Bless This InfoWars Idiot’s Fucking Heart, As He Just Found Out Hitler NEVER DIED! SPOILER Hitler is actually still dead.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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You are very good! Now, you get a surprise, and is that the dinosaur above is indeed Donna Rose. It is a DONNASAUR:

OK bye.

Yours in Christ dinosaurs,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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THAT HEADLINE IS A LIE.

Anyway, it is time to count down your top ten stories. You will notice that in this post there is a video of Wonkette Toddler at the lake doing lake things, and also a picture of Rebecca's Very Good Dogs watching their favorite movie, which is Wonkette Toddler eating a sandwich (above). Please enjoy these things.

OK, top ten!

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Even Fox News Can't Make Finland Trump-Shits Smell Like Roses :(

2. Dickish Trump Is Even A Dick To That Nice Old Lady From The Crown

3. Where In The World Is Michael Avenatti? He Is In London Having Tea With The Queen!

4. From Russia With Lube

5. WHAT THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK WAS THAT TRUMP-PUTIN PRESS CONFERENCE?

6. Can We Talk About The Utter Sadness Of Breitbart's Melania Fashion Coverage?

7. Christian Lady Being A Dipshit Again

8. President Words-Stupid Sorry For Being Total Fuck-Up Just This One Time Ever

9. Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

10. Strzok Out With Your Cock Out: The 5 Best Moments From Yesterday's Peter Strzok Shitshow

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, like we mentioned above, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

As promised, kid pic and video from LAKE TIME:

OK that's all.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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