Your Weekly Top Ten Is All Het Up About Melania's Prayer To The Lord!

This is not Melania, and she is not praying.

OH HI WONKERS. How is it shaking? Are you still very angry about how Melania Trump said a prayer to the Lord last weekend? Wait, you never were mad? Oh well. That's the top story of the week, which you will learn when you read the top ten list, posted below!

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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, who is double pragnet:

1. Melania Trump did the Lord's Prayer, and liberals either were mean, or they were outraged, or maybe it was neither.

2. Wherein we lovingly encourage GOP Sen. Susan Collins to subpoena the FUCK out of Trump's taxes.

3. Here's Jake Tapper, telling literally everything to fuck off.

4. A nice Fox News lady helped creep-ass Trump adviser Stephen Miller understand how that weird "checks and balances" thing works.

5. Joni Ernst ran away from her constituents like a hog running away from Joni Ernst's castratin' clippers.

6. Uncle Sam loves Donald Trump so much, he's paying for his many vacations!

7. CPAC really didn't think Milo's gross comments about adults having sex with kids were very funny. The beginning of a very shitty week for Milo!

8. Ruh-roh, did Ivanka Trump forget to pay her taxes?

9. Last week's Deleted Comments was about how Kellyanne Conway is smokin' hot or something.

10. And finally, Mike Pence and Paul Ryan can GETTTTTTTT FUUUUUUUUUCKED.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé The Pragnet. They are very good stories!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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