Haha, that is a lie, we don't know how old this post is, but THAT WONKETTE TODDLER RIGHT THERE IS ABOUT TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY! So say happy birthday to her, or suffer the consequences, which are ... WE DUNNO YET.


OK, we are continuing our tradition of making the top ten post even shorter than ever before, so cutting right to counting down the top ten stories of the week, in reverse order starting with number one, because we are bad at countdowns.

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. This Incel-Forum-Owning, Pro-Rape VA Congressional Candidate Got Kicked The Hell Off The Internet

2. This Incel Dating Website Is Fake, Right? Please Tell Us It Is Fake.

3. Internet Assholes Shocked To Discover They Can’t Troll The Courts

4. Conservative Stanford Professor Had Great Reason To Ratfuck Undergrad: Free Speech!

5. Michael Avenatti Is Back! Did You Miss Him?

6. Rudy Giuliani Just Admitted To Public Corruption, And That Wasn’t The Crazy Part

7. Let’s Ogle Spain’s Hot New Prime Minister And Break Down Weeping With Jealousy!

8. Oh Great, Now Scott Pruitt Will Never Get That Fancy Lube He Likes!

9. Prosecutors Relying On James O’Keefe Vids Shit Bed Again Because They Relied On James O’Keefe Vids

10. Racist Families That Vacation Together, Do Hate Crimes Together…

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

As a reward, here is another picture of BIRTHDAY TODDLER with her cousin:

Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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