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Time for the super fastest rocket speediest top ten of EVER! Because you know why? Momma handed Evan the keys to the Jeep for all next week, because she is on vacation, and that means I AM BOSS OF ALL Y'ALL NEXT WEEK. That means I gotta drink up this weekend, I mean rest up, so I can BOSS YOU ALL.

Also, above you will see a picture of the most vicious Lula dog ever, and also her drool on the nice ottoman. She is rude.

Shall we count down the top ten stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé? Yes we shall:

10. Laura Ingraham Lets Her Tiki Torch Fly

9. Halp! Halp! The NRA Is Bein' Repressed!

8. What Horror Awaits As Soon As Trix Goes On Vacay? An Important Wonkette Poll Of Importance!

7. Congratulations On Being Born, Robert Mueller! We Made You An Elegant Blingee!

6. Imagine Needing To Rewrite History To Feel Good About Yourself

5. Polling Funtimes! HELL YEAH

4. Prions! The Proteins That Eat YOU!

3. Deleted Comments: How Many Lies Can One Wingnut Tell?

2. We Think We Know The Real Reason Trump Is Losing His Shit Over The Mueller Investigation Right Now

1. White Supremacists In Stupid Outfits Descend On Portland, For Whatever Reason.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.

OK this post is over now, goodbye.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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