Donate

Time for the super fastest rocket speediest top ten of EVER! Because you know why? Momma handed Evan the keys to the Jeep for all next week, because she is on vacation, and that means I AM BOSS OF ALL Y'ALL NEXT WEEK. That means I gotta drink up this weekend, I mean rest up, so I can BOSS YOU ALL.

Also, above you will see a picture of the most vicious Lula dog ever, and also her drool on the nice ottoman. She is rude.

Shall we count down the top ten stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé? Yes we shall:

10. Laura Ingraham Lets Her Tiki Torch Fly

9. Halp! Halp! The NRA Is Bein' Repressed!

8. What Horror Awaits As Soon As Trix Goes On Vacay? An Important Wonkette Poll Of Importance!

7. Congratulations On Being Born, Robert Mueller! We Made You An Elegant Blingee!

6. Imagine Needing To Rewrite History To Feel Good About Yourself

5. Polling Funtimes! HELL YEAH

4. Prions! The Proteins That Eat YOU!

3. Deleted Comments: How Many Lies Can One Wingnut Tell?

2. We Think We Know The Real Reason Trump Is Losing His Shit Over The Mueller Investigation Right Now

1. White Supremacists In Stupid Outfits Descend On Portland, For Whatever Reason.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, like we mentioned above, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT. If you need more convincing, check out this story right here, about how it is THAT TIME OF THE MONTH, the one where we really need you to help us make ends meet.

Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.

OK this post is over now, goodbye.

Love,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

$
Donate with CC
Yeah, that's definitely a repurposed animatronic Hillary (YouTube)

A whole bunch of protests were held today against the fake "president's" fake "emergency" declaration, with people turning out in cold crappy weather to call attention to the general nastiness of the guy who claims he absolutely had to do that declaration that wasn't necessary. Organizers with MoveOn.org said over 250 rallies were planned nationwide. So far, the national State Of Emergency doesn't appear to have caused any of the rallies to be cancelled, despite the very real possibility that terrified Honduran refugees fleeing violence in Central America might suddenly show up and ask for asylum.

Are there still actions taking place in your area? Check at MoveOn!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

WHAT. IS. PAUL. MANAFORT. HIDING?

Before Manafort pleaded guilty and signed up as a cooperating witness who didn't actually cooperate, we wrote this:

We have always kind of figured that Paul Manafort is the one who knows the whole Trump-Russia conspiracy story. He was the first big fish indicted, and they hit him for A LOT. Also note that just about all the other prosecutions that have come from the Mueller investigation so far have been farmed out by Mueller to different jurisdictions. Manafort, on the other hand, Mueller has kept squarely in his office. There has to be a reason for that.

Perhaps it's because, as this Josh Marshall podcast suggests, Paul Manafort, a foreign agent who worked for Oleg Deripaska, AKA Putin's favorite oligarch, and who got sideways financially with Deripaska, was literally sent into the Trump campaign by the Kremlin to do its dirty work. Perhaps the Steele Dossier is right when it suggests that the entire Trump-Russia election-stealing conspiracy was run by Manafort on the Trump side, and that others like (perhaps!) Michael Cohen only had to take over when Manafort's shit started to stink and the news media started reporting on his weird-ass Russian connections in the summer of 2016.

If it's possible, we are beginning to suspect it may be even worse than that.

On Friday, special counsel Robert Mueller issued his sentencing recommendations for Manafort, after DC district court Judge Amy Berman Jackson ruled conclusively that the shady motherfucker very intentionally lied and blew up his cooperating agreement. Because Manafort defaulted, Mueller is no longer bound to recommend that Manafort's sentence be reduced, and is free to throw the book right at Manafort's face. HARD.

And that is what Mueller did! To be clear, the sentencing memo is harsh.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc