Donate

Wonkette toddler on WORLD TOUR!


Hi, everyone! It is Saturday which means we are NOT HERE, MOTHERFUCKERS. But your top ten is! Did you know this past week was Infrastructure Week again, or that at least President Infrastructure Lover tweeted about it? Therefore, as usual for Infrastructure Weeks and all the other weeks in Trump's America, the last seven days have been a SHITSHOW. But we have survived, and we have toddler pictures for you!

Anyway, shall we do the top ten posts of the week? Yes, in a minute!

First, let's pay the bills, because those are important. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our modest but livable salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it's 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress!

So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow, and also go to that march! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860 (new P.O box address! Update your address book!). Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

Another way you can do that is to BUY WONKETTE SWAG! There MANY products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store! You are interested in purchasing them all!

Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. You Want PA-18 Election Results? WELL POST THEM YOUR FUCKING SELVES. That's right, an election results open thread with NO ELECTION RESULTS IN IT is your top post. You guys are weird.

2. It Would Appear Our Boy Conor Lamb Kicked That Republican Dork’s Ass. OH HEY CONOR. Joy Reid said this was the best analysis of PA-18 in the whole wide world, and we agree!

3. Paul Manafort: So Fucked. Oh man, he sure is!

4. LORDY, Adam Schiff Is Pretty Sure There Are Tapes! O RLY?

5. Not Sure How To Say This, But Devin Nunes Is Stupider Than We Thought. WHOA IF TRUE, just click.

6. Stacey Dash’s MSNBC Interview Woulda Gone Better If Host Hadn’t Asked Her Questions. She truly is A Idiot.

7. Oh Come Off It, Bari Weiss. In a perfect world, we wouldn't have to write about Bari Weiss. But alas.

8. Trump White House Loses Last Fuckable Guy. Goodbye, Hot Johnny!

9. Whatever You Do, DON’T Watch Stormy Daniels Interview On ’60 Minutes’! — Michael Cohen, Superlawyer. It's set to air now on March 25. DON'T WATCH IT!

10. Robert Mueller At The Front Door Of Trump Tower Right Now Like KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER! HEY-O!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good! We love you!

Here are some more pictures of Wonkette toddler discovering WISCONSIN CHEESE:

OK bye.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc