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Y'all, we gotta be honest, because we did not intend for our response to that lady's dumb "media bias chart" what said Wonkette was fake and Louise Mensch-y and just as good as the Gateway Pundit to be taken QUITE SO SERIOUSLY by said lady with her media bias chart. But alas, she did take it very seriously and she thinks we are FOR REAL MAD and obviously doesn't understand that when we respond like that, we are not necessarily MAD mad. We are just halfway mad and we enjoy lambasting people WITH WORDS. (Also, she was wrong on the internet, and she still is. Maybe she is the fake news? EVER THOUGHT OF THAT ONE BEFORE?)

Also her system for picking out where webistes go on #Chart is real fuckin' dumb. She says The Federalist is fair and balanced or something. Has she ever read Mollie Hemingway's total fucking lies for five seconds?

ANYWAY.


Also, the Wonkette toddler is sick, as you can see above in that adorable picture. Please keep that in mind when we ask you money a few column inches down from right here.

Shall we count down our top ten stories? We shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé, OH NO, FACTCHECK, CHART LADY, THAT IS A JOKE:

10. Wonkette Is Fake News Like Louise Mensch, According To World's Best Fucking Chart

9. Tucker Carlson Dreams Of Room Filled Entirely With Tucker Carlsons

8. Dear Miss Manners: What's The Proper Way To Wipe Your Nose On A Flag At A Trump Rally?

7. Trump SHOCKED To Learn Trade Wars Are Bad And Hard To Win

6. GOP Shitting Pants That Ted Cruz Might Lose, Because He Sucks And Everyone Hates Him

5. Oops Zina Bash Did It Again

4. Brett Kavanaugh Gonna Get Yelled At In Restaurants

3. Pat Robertson Beat Up Hurricane Florence With His Bible And Now It Is Dead

2. Mitch McConnell Officially Losing His Shit, Because The Senate Is IN PLAY, AYUP.

1. The Week In Garbage Men: Going Carnivore To Own The Libs, Alex Jones Gets Gone, And A New MGTOW Hero

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Here's another pic of the sick kid:

Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.

OK this post is over now, goodbye.

Love,

Louise Mensch (OH SHIT FACTCHECK CHART LADY WE ARE NOT LOUISE MENSCH)

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please hit the nifty donation widget below! Didn't that feel so good?

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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There could still be a partial shutdown of the government starting Saturday if Congress doesn't pass a budget bill in time, but at least Donald Trump has caved, yet again, on what last week he insisted was absolutely completely necessary to keep the government open. You might remember it -- dude said he'd be PROUD to shut down the government and take credit for it if he didn't get $5 billion to build the thing. Today, he's more like MEH, what wall, he can fund it some other way, maybe, honestly, who cares, it's time for golf, isn't it? Whatever his thinking, Trump has dropped the wall-funding ultimatum, though there's still no budget deal, because congressional Democrats aren't about to take Mitch McConnell's crappy alternative offer, either.

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December 18. One week before Christmas. In a normal and just and sane world, the news cycle would be dying and we'd be decking the halls and trying to find dumb things to write about just to make YOU DINGBATS happy. (Christmas week in 2015 we wrote about an idiot rightwing Christian extremist named Bryan Fischer, who thinks dinosaurs in the Bible were really just VERY OLD GRANDMA BIBLE LIZARDS.) But alas, Barack Obama is no longer president, so the shitshow continues.

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