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Y'all, we gotta be honest, because we did not intend for our response to that lady's dumb "media bias chart" what said Wonkette was fake and Louise Mensch-y and just as good as the Gateway Pundit to be taken QUITE SO SERIOUSLY by said lady with her media bias chart. But alas, she did take it very seriously and she thinks we are FOR REAL MAD and obviously doesn't understand that when we respond like that, we are not necessarily MAD mad. We are just halfway mad and we enjoy lambasting people WITH WORDS. (Also, she was wrong on the internet, and she still is. Maybe she is the fake news? EVER THOUGHT OF THAT ONE BEFORE?)

Also her system for picking out where webistes go on #Chart is real fuckin' dumb. She says The Federalist is fair and balanced or something. Has she ever read Mollie Hemingway's total fucking lies for five seconds?

ANYWAY.


Also, the Wonkette toddler is sick, as you can see above in that adorable picture. Please keep that in mind when we ask you money a few column inches down from right here.

Shall we count down our top ten stories? We shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé, OH NO, FACTCHECK, CHART LADY, THAT IS A JOKE:

10. Wonkette Is Fake News Like Louise Mensch, According To World's Best Fucking Chart

9. Tucker Carlson Dreams Of Room Filled Entirely With Tucker Carlsons

8. Dear Miss Manners: What's The Proper Way To Wipe Your Nose On A Flag At A Trump Rally?

7. Trump SHOCKED To Learn Trade Wars Are Bad And Hard To Win

6. GOP Shitting Pants That Ted Cruz Might Lose, Because He Sucks And Everyone Hates Him

5. Oops Zina Bash Did It Again

4. Brett Kavanaugh Gonna Get Yelled At In Restaurants

3. Pat Robertson Beat Up Hurricane Florence With His Bible And Now It Is Dead

2. Mitch McConnell Officially Losing His Shit, Because The Senate Is IN PLAY, AYUP.

1. The Week In Garbage Men: Going Carnivore To Own The Libs, Alex Jones Gets Gone, And A New MGTOW Hero

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Here's another pic of the sick kid:

Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.

OK this post is over now, goodbye.

Love,

Louise Mensch (OH SHIT FACTCHECK CHART LADY WE ARE NOT LOUISE MENSCH)

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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If it's a day, the New York Times is fucking shit up, but today, it fucked up BIGLY.

Fresh-faced access journalists Adam Goldman and Michael Schmidt have just published what we can only describe as a drive-by shooting against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, which reads as some bullshit planted by the White House to give Donald Trump the pretext for his Saturday Night Massacre, if he wants it. (He does.)

Maybe the White House is tired of talking about the flailing nomination of Judge Maybe Rapey and how Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller, and the New York Times was more than happy to help!

Or maybe it was planted by former deputy director of the FBI Andrew McCabe, who was fired by Attorney General Jeff Sessions just hours before his pension was set to kick in, and may have a serious axe to grind with DoJ officials and leaked a copy of his own memos. (His lawyer says that's not true, but he would say that, wouldn't he?)

Or maybe it's both, somehow! Or one of many other things!

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It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.

As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved

shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.

Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.

Keep reading... Show less
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