Your Weekly Top Ten Is OMG LOOK THE EASTER BUNNY!
Hi, everyone! It is the weekend, and if you are us right now, IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY! Happy birthday to you, if you are us! But if you are Wonkette Toddler, you are the EASTER BUNNY! (See above.) OK, so it's the top ten countdown, and you know how that works, but we will do that in a sec.
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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. It’s Almost As If You Can’t Casually Tweet About Wanting To Hang Women Who Have Abortions Anymore! And we guess you can't, because Kevin Williamson is (finally) fired now.
2. We Regret To Inform You There Is News About Donald Trump Jr. Checkin’ Out His Dad’s Shower Peen. Sorry about whatever you were eating just now!
3. And Now, A Timely Reminder That Jared Kushner Is A Goddamn Moron. Never a bad time to point it out!
4. US Military Commanders Just Saying It Would Be Cool If Trump Pulled His Thumbs Out Of His Ass. But that's nah gah happen, so.
5. In Which Paul Manafort Learns That Bob Mueller KEPT THE RECEIPTS. Sucks to be you, Pauly!
6. Sean Hannity Can’t Believe Savage Gargoyle Hillary Clinton Would Suggest Fox News Does Not Like Her. What EVER could have given her that idea?
8. Do Right-Wingers Just Not Understand How Buying In Bulk Works? We thought EVERYONE understood that?
9. Midterm Madness: Devin Nunes Is Treading Water In California’s 22nd. VOTE HIM THE FUCK OUT, CA-22.
10. If Donald Trump Was Your Dad, You’d Have Taken Him To The Neurologist By Now. You really woulda.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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