Hey everyone, things are terrible, and a probable sexual assaulter is probably getting on the Supreme Court today. In other words, a very good morning to you! We are in New Orleans right now, so we are going to get right to the point, which is counting down the week's top ten stories.

But speaking of nothing in particular, you will note if you look above that you, Wonkers, have a WHOLE NEW BABY. That is right, it is the Wonkette Grandbaby, and her mom and dad live with the Editrix now, which means you will get ALL THE PICTURES OF HER ALL THE TIME.

Shall we count down stories now? We shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Heidi Heitkamp Not Voting For Quaaludes McRapeVan, Because Fuck You Is Why

9. This Is Not Over

8. Brett Kavanaugh Now A 'Folk' Hero To America's Worst Humans.

7. Tom Carper And Robert Menendez Are Democrats We Don't Love. Look! Beto O'Rourke And Doggies!

6. Democratic Ad Does Class War All Over The GOP's Big Fat Tax Cuts For Rich Fuckwads

5. Mitch McConnell Says Y'all CAn't See FBI's Kavanaugh Report, So That Shit's Gon' Leak

4. Hey! Let's All Give Ourselves 12 Seconds To Not Think About Sexual Assault Today.

3. Oh No, Has President BrainStupid Said Too Much?????

2. Sarah Palin's Son Just Got Arrested For Assaulting A Woman. Again.

1. Sorry, Republicans: We're Never NOT Going To Call Drunk-Ass O'Kavanaugh A Credibly Accused Sexual Predator

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you hit the tip jar below to give us all the moneys? It is so easy! Just hit the amount and THEN HIT PAYPAL OR STRIPE. It will not go through if you don't hit Paypal or Stripe, as Rebecca's mom learned after months of thinking she was tipping ME SPECIFICALLY. WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Let's see ... anything else? More new baby pictures, you say? OK!


OK this post is over now, goodbye.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend,'s founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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