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Labor Day weekend, writing this before we hit the road, which we would like to do in approximately one hour and 14 minutes so ... yep, got nothin' to say to ya! Wonkette editrix Rebecca and family are also out of town, and we are going to the lake so ... yeah, don't do anything we wouldn't do while not here! Goodbye!

Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Also, have you been to the Wonkette Flea Market lately, in order to find some rare finds? We have all kinds of merches, like t-shirts and coffee cups featuring your favorite candidates, and also just Wonkette-branded swag. Maybe there is some you do not have! GO FIND OUT.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Next Democratic Debate (Probably) Only One Night, Thanks Tulsi Gabbard And Tom Steyer!

9. Kim Davis Is Back And Losing All Of The Lawsuits

8. MAGA Hat Creeps Must Have Some Weird Kink For Getting Their Asses Kicked By Liberals

7. KING TRUMP HEREBY ORDERS Hahahahahahahahahahaha Shut Up

6. New Sarah Huckabee Sanders Has History Of Plagiarism And DUIs, She Sounds #BeBest

5. Trump HEREBY ORDERS You All To Stop Talking About Bedbugs At Doral!

4. We Need To Talk Some More About President BabbleShit's Humiliating G7 Performance

3. Stupid 'Fox & Friends' Idiot Pretty Sure If Instagram Exists, Hurricanes Can Be Shot Out Of Sky

2. Tomi Lahren Debuts Athleisure Line For The Woman Who Wants Yoga Pants That DON'T Hate America

1. In The Matter Of Diamond And Silk's Very Real Lawyer v. Wonkette: Bring It, Shithead. Wonkette: Bring It, Shithead

Those are good stories! Mostly about awful things!

Here's another pic of Wonkette Toddler and some other kids who are also OUT OF TOWN.

OK that's all, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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