OH NO WONKETTE BABY HAS BEEN DRIVEN TO DRINK. Water probably, or juice.
Good God, what a week. How are you holding up? We are holding up decent-ish-ly and we will be fine, because we are listening to onemillionplaylists of songs to survive Donald Trump, and probably we are also #drunked right now. But we will be strong! And you will too! But right now, screw all this, we have some new WONKETTE BABY TODDLER pictures, and we will say the top ten stories and then we will peace out.
BUT FIRST! We will shake you up for donations, because GRRRR WE NEED YOU RIGHT NOW AND YOU NEED US, so please to throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? It is the easiest. You pull out your wallet and you give us money. OR you pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. OR you could just do one of our "ad-fewer" subscriptions, where you only see glorious in-house ads, from our actual friends, instead of yucky-nasty ads that take over your Obamaphones.
Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, to help you give us money:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. Donald Trump SO MAD Colorado fire marshal refused to let him die in a fire, yes this old story is in here again for some reason, and this time it is numero uno.
2. A nice open letter to all those non-racist, pro-gay, pro-lady Trump supporters!
3. A nice open letter inviting white women to FUCK RIGHT OFF.
4. Last week's Deleted Comments was about how Trump is not a racist and we're all going to the ovens, non-racistly.
5. BREITBART WATCH: If you don't count all the Clinton votes, Donald Trump won ALL THE VOTES!
6. A Trump idiot at Chili's made America great again ALL OVER a nice black veteran.
7. Trump supporters so confused why they don't get to act like Trump, at their jobs.
8. Fuck politics, let's just watch a shitty Angelina Jolie movie film.
9. Think Hillary won the popular vote? NOT ACCORDING TO THIS FAKE "NEWS" WEBSITE!
10. You should be just like this white guy at Starbucks yelling at a different white guy top stop being a fucking asshole to the black barista.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!
Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW. It's for keeping you informed of things!
Thank you for following our orders! OK time for more pictures. Let's look at Wonkette niece in her "Walking Dead" costume again, because it is her birthday and she is three now!
Oh yeah, that's a 'Walking Dead' costume. Take that, PEOPLE DRESSED AS BUNNIES.
And more Wonkette Baby Toddler pictures!
OK now go away, or stay, we love you, you love us, let's just love each other.
Love,
Wonket
