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Hi, everyone! It is the weekend, and if you are a member of the Judeo-Christian tradition, it is a HOLY WEEKEND, but that doesn't mean your top ten isn't here to yap at you about the week's top stories. It DOES mean that we are praying our gods that President Golfy McManBoobs will SHUT UP FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND, COULD HE DO THAT PLEASE? Probably not. Anyway, shall we count down the week's top stories? We shall! In a minute!

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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. That Is Not What ‘Lovesick’ Is. A very important post by Robyn about mass shooters, and you need to read it.

2. The Children Are Here, And They’re FUCKING MAGNIFICENT. Rebecca's on location report from the March For GRAB YR GUNS!

3. WHAT THE FUCK WAS TRUMP’S IDIOT RUSSIA LAWYER JOHN DOWD THINKING? We still don't know.

4. The Two Best Times Stormy Daniels’s Lawyer Was SO FUCKIN’ HOT The Past 24 Hours, Because We Only Saw Him On TV Twice. We are absolutely certain he was hot a lot of other times this week, also too.

5. TripAdvisor Advises Laura Ingraham To Take A Long Trip To GO FUCK YOURSELF. One of our favorite headlines we have EVER written.

6. We Are In DC, Gon’ TAKE YOUR FUCKING GUNS :D. Rebecca's post announcing their arrival at the March for GRAB YR GUNS!

7. Uh Oh, Has Robert Mueller Been A NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BOY? WELL HAS HE? (No.)

8. In The Spirit Of Holy Week, Everybody Hates Laura Ingraham And Her Dumb Shitmouth. We hate her all the non-holy weeks too.

9. We Regret To Inform You There Is More News About Donald Trump Jr.’s Rambunctious Penis. ANOTHER one of our favorite headlines we ever wroted!

10. Everybody Hitting ‘OH SHIT!’ Button To Protect Robert Mueller Right Now, But WHY THOUGH? We are still not sure! But it's happening!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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