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As usual, when we say "your weekly top ten" with that kind of headline, we are talking about Wonkette Toddler, can you believe she is in preschool now? She is like a full grown adult, with an emphasis on learning shapes, because we guess the other three to five year olds still need to do that!

Anyway, it is time for your top ten list, where we count down the top ten stories and you give us money, because we are fully 100 percent reader-supported and cannot keep the lights on without you. You should probably do that first, to get it out of the way.

All done? Hooray!

Shall we count down the top ten stories? Yes, we shall.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Bet You Could Use Some Nice Things About Now!

9. Trump Just Told ISIS Where We'll Be Attacking, On The White House Lawn

8. Here's To 86 More Years Of Ruth Bader Ginsburg Being The Boss Of You!

7. The 174 Shittiest Things Conservatives Have Said About The New Zealand Mosque Shooting SO FAR

6. Trump Had A Playdate With A Fellow Fascist Dipshit Today

5. John McCain's Ghost An Ingrate: Donald Trump

4. Trump White House: FUCK IT, WE'RE DOING THE WATERGATE THING!

3. Gay PM Leo Varadkar Tells Mike Pence To Kiss His Irish Ass

2. Dang! Things Don't Seem To Be Going Too Well For Aunt Becky And Her Family Of Grifters

1. Wash Your Eyeballs Clean With New Zealand Kids Honoring Fallen Classmates With Haka

Those are good stories! Hey look, more kid pics, some of school, some with Beto t-shirts, which are available here (as well as other candidate shirts, because Wonkette Endorses Beating Trump in 2020):

OK that's it.

Go with God!

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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photo by Dominic Gwinn

There was a time, a few months ago, when everyone had written off Elizabeth Warren. Well, not me, because I am a fabulous genius, but lots of other people. The "very reasonable" talking heads on all the various news channels, the kind of people who used to say things like "Oh, we'd like universal health care too, but 'the people' will never go for it!" but who definitely did not actually want universal health care for any reason, and even the Trump campaign. Though, to be fair, the Trump campaign didn't think Trump had much of a chance of winning in 2016 either.

But now, as more and more people hear her speak, hear her plans, hear what she wants to do and how she wants to do it... Elizabeth Warren is rising up in the polls. She's a contender. In the most recent Quinnipiac poll, she was closing in on Sanders for second place nationally, and in California and Nevada polls, she's in second place.

And now, according to a report from Politico, the Trump campaign is now scrambling and panicking and... stalking her?

Keep reading... Show less
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5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

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