Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready For Santa To Bring Us Booze, Probably

YO HEY, it's the weekend before Christmas! 'Twas the weekend before Christmas and all through Wonkette, we ain't here right now because we're sleeping off more holiday parties, WHOA IF TRUE! OK sorry that didn't rhyme, but we hope you are having a nice weekend and Trump hasn't 'sploded the whole world while we've been asleep. (Has he? Say so in the comments!)

But your weekly top ten is here and we are going to count down the LAST TOP TEN STORIES OF THE YEAR before it is New Years'. Aren't you 'SCITED?

You are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Does The Treasury Department Have A Teensy Russian Spy Problem? We Are Just Asking!

9. Robert Mueller Responds To Michael Flynn's Whining: 'Hahahahahahahaha Fuck You'

8. White House Forgot To Hire Babysitter For Trump's Christmas Vacation, Oh Shit!

7. There's RATS Outside The White House, Blanche

6. President Art Of The Deal Gets His Precious Mexican Border Wall, Just Kidding Nope

5. Elijah Cummings's New Holiday Classic: '51 Ways I'm About To Kick Trump's Ass'

4. Chris Christie Nopes Out Of Chief Of Staff Job, Has 15% Popularity Rating To Uphold

3. Crybaby President Can't Handle Saturday Night Live Making Jokes About Him.

2. Tucker Carlson's Latest White Supremacist Whoopsie Has Cost Him An Advertiser.


Those are very good stories! About terrible things, mostly!

OK one more pic of the Wonkette toddler for Christmas:

OK this post is over now.

Go with baby Jesus,


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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