Your Weekly Top Ten Is Ready To FIGHT
YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW
OK everyone, hello! It was a really shitty week with Trump's BABY JAILS and whatnot, right? And we cried and we cried, but then we got MAD. Are you MAD BRO? Because this shit is not going to stand and we are more fired up than ever to make things better, to register people to vote, to pick them up in our car so they can go vote, and also all the other stuff too. BRB TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK NOW. That is how we are right now! So are you! Start by marching with Wonkette next week!
Also, please look above, as that is a picture of Wonkette toddler getting SWIMMING LESSONS. Isn't that the greatest?
OK, we are continuing our tradition of making the top ten post even shorter than ever before, because gotta get on the road and go to Nashville BRB GOING TO NASHVILLE NOW.
Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:
1. Why Are You Peeing On Yourself, Donald Trump, Jr.? (ALLEGEDLY)
2. Ann Coulter's America Will Die if Baby Jails Go Away, So That's Something!
3. Yes, Trump Is Stealing Children. But You Can DO Something.
4. Baby Jails? Goddamn Motherfucking BABY JAILS?
6. The 987,386 Most Fucked Up Lies Our Shithead President Told This Morning
7. Happy Father's Day, Roger Stone! YOU ARE THE COLLUSION!
8. Michael Cohen Slams Baby Jails On His Way To Grownup Jail
9. Awwwww Rudy Giuliani, YOU FUCKING SCARED?
10. Trump Foundation Fuckery? WHO KNEW!
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.
Yours in baby Jesus,
Wonkette
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It is already summer 2019 in Australia.