SASSY!
OH HI WONKERS. It is Memorial Day Weekend, which means we are ZZZZZZZZZZ, and last week totally murdered our brains with dumb news, so we are going to make this short and sweet. You look at Wonkette toddler baby human woman pictures. We count down top ten stories. AND THEN WE GO NAP AGAIN.
First though, we must SHAKE YOU DOWN FOR MONEY, but lovingly! See, we are 100% funded by you readers, and we have no ads, and we love it, and you love it, but we have to keep asking you to give us dollars and subscription moneys and things in order to make this system work. We explained all this in your monthly reminder post about how we need moneys, on a regular basis, to keep this place running without ads. Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Or we even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.
Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is very quietly urging you to pull out your wallets, because again, we are ZZZZZZZZZZ right now:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. That dillweed Trey Gowdy ate his own ding-dong penis in front of the former CIA director, and it was very embarrassing.
2. Montana GOP asshole Greg Gianforte only did a WEE BIT of ratfucking in advance of Thursday's election.
3. Hot-ass French president Emmanuel Macron became the president of our hearts and our pants when he destroyed Trump with handshakes.
4. Melania Trump is NOT having any of her husband's shit.
5. Want to just look at slippery nekkid Navy Boys? We did, and that's your #5 story!
6. The mayor of New Orleans did a badass speech after the last confederate monument was removed, and we bet it made confederate knuckle-dragger assholes VERY GRRRR.
7. Donald Trump went to the Holocaust memorial in Jerusalem, and when he signed the guestbook, it was basically "HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, STAY SWEET!" What A Idiot.
8. Nazi website really thinks you should remove all condoms during sex, in order to create all the white babies.
9. Turns out Jared Kushner really DOES roll on shabbos!
10. And finally, dumb Trump touched that glowy orb in Saudi Arabia, and it seems to have made him VERY SLEEPY AND EXHAUSTED AND TIRED. What a loser.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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You are very good. For following our orders, we present more pictures of Wonkette toddler person human grown lady, who is VERY SASSY AND PRETTY!
K HAVE A NICE WEEKEND GOODBYE.
Love,
Wonket
