Your Weekly Top Ten Is SHHHHH WE ARE SLEEPING ZZZZZZZZ
OH HI WONKERS. It is Memorial Day Weekend, which means we are ZZZZZZZZZZ, and last week totally murdered our brains with dumb news, so we are going to make this short and sweet. You look at Wonkette toddler baby human woman pictures. We count down top ten stories. AND THEN WE GO NAP AGAIN.
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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is very quietly urging you to pull out your wallets, because again, we are ZZZZZZZZZZ right now:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. That dillweed Trey Gowdy ate his own ding-dong penis in front of the former CIA director, and it was very embarrassing.
2. Montana GOP asshole Greg Gianforte only did a WEE BIT of ratfucking in advance of Thursday's election.
3. Hot-ass French president Emmanuel Macron became the president of our hearts and our pants when he destroyed Trump with handshakes.
4. Melania Trump is NOT having any of her husband's shit.
5. Want to just look at slippery nekkid Navy Boys? We did, and that's your #5 story!
6. The mayor of New Orleans did a badass speech after the last confederate monument was removed, and we bet it made confederate knuckle-dragger assholes VERY GRRRR.
7. Donald Trump went to the Holocaust memorial in Jerusalem, and when he signed the guestbook, it was basically "HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, STAY SWEET!" What A Idiot.
8. Nazi website really thinks you should remove all condoms during sex, in order to create all the white babies.
9. Turns out Jared Kushner really DOES roll on shabbos!
10. And finally, dumb Trump touched that glowy orb in Saudi Arabia, and it seems to have made him VERY SLEEPY AND EXHAUSTED AND TIRED. What a loser.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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K HAVE A NICE WEEKEND GOODBYE.
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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