Hi, everyone! It is Saturday and it is your weekly top ten post and we are exhausted and we are now hibernating. If there is "breaking news," please keep it to yourself, because we ain't care. OK! You know how this works. We show you pics of Wonkette toddler, like the one above, we ask you for money because YOU PAY OUR SALARIES, and we count down the top stories of the week, and then it is over. So let's do this!

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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:


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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Dear Pissed-Off High School Kids: If Adults Threaten To Punish You For Protesting, FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY. Week number two at number one!

2. Robert Mueller Is About To Hit The Fucking Bull’s Eye On Trump-Russia, And It Will Be HOLY SHIT. Pretty sure we're right about this one.

3. The Top Two Sickest Pete Souza #TrumpBurns In The Past 48 Hours, Because He Only Did It Twice. God, he is just the best.


5. Rick Gates, Fucking Dummy, Tried To Put One Over On Bob Mueller. A Lawsplainer! TOTAL FUCKING DUMMY.

6. The Week In Garbage Men: Misogynist Sites ‘Return of Kings’ And ‘A Voice For Men’ Now Official Hate Groups. 'BOUT DAMN TIME.

7. America’s Greatest Artist, Jon McNaughton, Proudly Presents Donald Trump’s Sad Wrinkled ... Flag. LOL oh my God.

8. Deleted Comments: From Hell’s Heart I Stab At Thee! I Will Never Stop Until Wonkette Debates Me! SPOILER: That guy stopped.

9. Did Devin Nunes Fuck A Bad Cow Before He Went On ‘Fox & Friends’? JUST ASKING.

10. Triggering The Libs: A How-To Guide For Conservatives. Bookmark it, wingnuts!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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You are very good, here are more pictures of the toddler. Actually, the first one is a FACE the toddler made with her toys, which led her to exclaim, "Papa, I made a face! Take a smile!"

OK bye.

Yours in baby Jesus,


Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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