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OH HEY WONKERS! It is Saturday morning, which means it's time for your weekly top ten post, of the top ten posts you clicked on all week, not that much of anything newsworthy happened this week, nope not a thing. JUST FOOLING. What a fuckin' week, right?

But first, we are now 24 days from the election! Wonkette would like to make it all the way through the election and many years after, so if you love us and NEED US to say funny things to your face all the time, won't you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? It is the easiest. You pull out your wallet and you give us money. OR you pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. OR you could just do one of our "ad-fewer" subscriptions, where you only see glorious in-house ads, from our actual friends, instead of yucky-nasty ads that take over your AOL browser.

Here, while you decide which of those options is best for you, it is the traditional picture of Wonk Baby as a scary lion:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.

GRRRR THREATENING LION SAYS MAKE DONATIONS TO WONKET GRRR.

Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!

1. That badass Michelle Obama speech. WATCH IT FOR THE FIRST TIME OR THE TENTH TIME, just watch it.

2. Y'all, Hillary Clinton is still, for real, legit, an actual good person.

3. Your president Barry Bamz O'Bama will ROCK YOUR FACE OFF in this new Hillary Clinton ad.

4. Last Friday saw the debut of Trump's new campaign slogan: GRAB THEM BY THE PUSSY.

5. Martha Raddatz had to yank the talking stick away from Hillary during the second presidential debate, in order to 'splain to Donald Trump what "war" is.

6. Speaking of, did you watch the big exciting second presidential debate? Well you haven't REALLY watched it unless you've read Wonkette's Super Sexxxy Debate Liveblog!

7. Hey look, Barack Obama has a boner! Maybe.

8. Y'all, Jill Stein is still A Idiot.

9. Hillary was SO RACIST in this WikiLeaks email that wasn't even sent by her.

10. And finally, here is a children's treasury of reactions to Donald Trump's rapey mistakes.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!

OK, Wonkers, one more thing! Wonkette's US Elections Of America card game is finally here! Click here to read our unbiased review of it, and find out how you can get your own, to play with! Also, there are one million Wonkette Baby pictures in that post, which is why there ain't none here.

Oh, and sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW. Sorry, we guess that was a second "task."

 

Thank you for following our orders! As a special treat, here is Justin Trudeau cookin' you some supper and bein' sexy:

 

OK now go away, or stay here, or whatever you want, we are not your real daddy, YES WE ARE.

K bye.

Love,

Wonket

 

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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