Oh hey, everyone! It is your weekly top ten post! And oh Christ, what a week it was, with the horrific Las Vegas shooting, on top of Puerto Rico and Trump embarrassing America a lot and Rex Tillerson calling Trump a "moron." We'd like to take this moment to remind you all to practice self-care, OK? Be nice to yourselves, rest when you need to, TURN IT OFF when you need to, and stick with us right here at Wonkette, so we can yell and laugh and cry together about the heinous fuckery that is Trump's America.

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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Trump Flies To Puerto Rico To Call Them Fuck-Ups To Their Faces. And throw paper towels at their heads!

2. Alex Jones: Las Vegas Was A False Flag Attack By ISIS And Also Antifa Celebrating Bolshevik Revolution. If anything, this makes TOO MUCH sense.

3. Idaho Pol Yells At ‘Liberal Nut-Tard’ At County Fair, Demands Apology From Fair. He seems nice.

4. We’d Tell Nikki Haley To Go Fuck Herself, But Instead We’ll Just Say Bless Your Fucking Heart. Wouldn't want to be ugly.

5. Robert Mueller Showing Russian Hookers Pics Of Trump, Asking ‘Have You Peed On This Man?' OK NOT LITERALLY.

6. A Listicle Of New NBC Show Ideas, To Build Off Success Of Megyn Kelly’s Fresh Hot Turd! A Megyn Kelly post in the #6 position for the second time in a week! She's #6! She's #6!

7. Jared Kushner Is A Complete Dipshit, And His Lawyer Isn’t Far Behind. And don't even get us started on Ivanka.

8. Trump Takes Break From Golfing To Tweet Asshole Things At The Mayor Of San Juan. Because of course he fucking did.

9. Las Vegas Reax Day Two: More Shitmouths, With Mouths Dripping With Shit. Because there were too many shitmouths for one post!

10. And finally, The Week In Garbage Men: How Alt-Triggered Are You By This Alt-Dweeb’s Alt-Right Alt-Comic That He Alt-Made? Because you all just love that weekly series Robyn does!

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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