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Sorry, haters, ain't got time to talk to ya right now, our big annual drunken neighborhood festival starts in a few minutes and we gotta get our shit together. So let's DO THIS.

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. University Of Alabama Dean YOU'RE FIRED For Tweeting While Black

9. You Don't Need A Weatherman To Know We've Got The Nice Things

8. Laura Ingraham Triggers All The Libs Who Think She Can't Drink A Steak Or Eat Light Bulbs

7. Michael Flynn Is A Very Serious Person With A Very Serious Lawyer

6. It's Time For Donald Trump's Daily Alabama Hurricane Watch, Starring Donald Trump!

5. NO CUSSING! Your Fucking Democratic Debate Liveblog

4. Sarah Huckabee Sanders Unclear On Why She Is Not A Feminist Icon

3. Fine, Here Is Your Damn 'Todd Palin Quits Marriage Halfway Through Term' Post, YOU HAPPY NOW?

2. WONKETTE DEFEATS THINKPROGRESS

1. Jerry And His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcock: The Jerry Falwell Jr. Story! Allegedly!

Those are good stories! Mostly about awful things!

Couple more pix:


OK that's all, go with God, etc.

Love,

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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