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Sorry, guys, you know we love writing you the top ten stories and stuff, but lately we are so exhausted when we write this thing (at the end of the Friday) and we are so anxious to get to the important work of drinking and napping (not at the same time ... OR IS IT?) that we just don't have much to say at you! We promise we will become interesting again, at some point in the future. Hooray, let's count down some top ten stories of the week!

Before we count down the top ten stories, though, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Angelina Jolie's Dad Rambles Incoherently About How Much He Loves Donald Trump

9. Julian Assange Is An Absolute Piece Of Shit. And Now You Have To Defend Him.

8. A Few Thoughts On Pete Buttigieg's Dick Brother-In-Law Who Doesn't 'Agree' With Chasten's 'Gay Lifestyle'

7. Roadrunners Are Real, And They're Spectacular!

6. Happy Memorial Day From Donald Trump, Who Loves America More Than You Do

5. Robert Mueller Has One More Thing To Say About Bill Barr's Lies. A WEIRD THING.

4. Seb Gorka's Mustang Is Firin' On All 4 Cylinders Right Now!

3. The Week In Garbage Men: No Country For Old Pick-Up Artists

2. Trump Tells America He DID NOT EITHER Have A Temper Tantrum, SHUT UP STINKY NANCY!

1. Do Y'all See What Nancy Pelosi Is Doing Yet? (Yep! Two weeks in a row!)

Hooray, those are very good stories!

One more kid pic:

OK that's all, goodbye, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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