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God, we are tired. You hear Mike Pence is getting pulled into the impeachment inquiry? That's happening.

Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, great news! Rebecca is hiring Robyn and Stephen full-time! HELP HER OUT, because she does not have the money yet which is why she announced it, to make the money come! (Lilies of the field, God and wonkers will provide, it's a whole thing with her.) If you can, SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent. Now for six of us!

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. We Need To Talk More About The Private Server Where Trump Hides His Traitor Secrets

9. Robert DeNiro Is Just The Fucking Best

8. You Know What Liz Warren Was Missing? SEXY. Thanks Jacob Wohl And The Other One!

7. Donald Trump Is Stupid King Lear And The Wall Street Journal Is Fools And Madmen

6. Tucker Carlson Gonna Beat Up Another Gay Dude In A Bathroom, WATCH OUT SHEP SMITH!

5. It Just Got A Little Harder To Be A Horrifying Misogynist On Reddit

4. IN MEMORIAM: Fox News Dumps Todd Starnes Like An Overflowing Piss Jar

3. President BrainStupid Handling Impeachment Well Today

2. Did Wonkette Murder This Strange Man's Assault Cane Business? He Seems To Think So!

1. White House Worried Impeachment Will Make Trump Liddle' More Bugfuck Dead Weight Than Usual

Those are good stories!

Want another kid pic? By the way, both kid pics in this post feature outfits by Wonker "Tamsie."

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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