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Guys! GUYS! Did you see that right as Wonkette skated out the door on Friday, Robert Mueller unsealednew superseding indictment on Paul Manafort, just after Rick Gates pleaded guilty? Damn, shit is getting GOOD! Anyway it's your top ten post where we count down the top ten stories and show you Wonkette toddler pictures, and also we ask you for money, to keep this food truck/mommyblog going. So let's get to it!


First, let's pay the bills, because those are important. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our modest but livable salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it's 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress!

On top of that, Wonkette reallyreallyREALLY wants to go to the big teenagers' march for our lives and fuck your guns in DC next month, so we can cover it in real time. Extra moneys appreciated!

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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. Dear Pissed-Off High School Kids: If Adults Threaten To Punish You For Protesting, FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY. This thing went viral, because we DEFENDED ANARCHY by teaching kids about their Constitutional rights, and also said some "F" cusses.

2. Of Course Florida School Shooter Was A Girl-Hating White Supremacist. Of Course I Am Tired Of Writing This Article. Second week in a row in the top ten!

3. He’s A Dishwasher At Chili’s. She Babysits Sometimes But Not Usually. BUDGET: FIVE MILLION DOLLARS. We really should do more posts like this.

4. Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza Calls Obama ‘Ghetto.’ From Jail. Oh hey, Wonkette post from 2015!

5. President Fuck-Your-Feelings Is All Smiles For School Shooting Photo-ops. That man really isn't good at acting like a human.

6. Now Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Yelling At Fox, That Is How Bad Her Job Sucks Now :(. One of the worst briefings she's ever done, and that's SAYIN' SOMETHIN'.

7. Tomi Lahren Demands Liberals Stop Shooting Christians To Death With Assault Mockery. TRIGGERED! SAFE SPACE!

8. Bet Robert Mueller Thinks This Devin Nunes Tweet Is REAL Funny. Devin Nunes, he's laughing AT you, not WITH you.

9. This ‘Tennessee Idiot For Governor’ Commercial Is The Gayest Fucking Thing I Have Seen All Week. Click to experience the hell Tennessee residents have been experiencing this week every time we turn on the TV.

10. Tomi Lahren Doesn’t Rhetoric Good, By A Ph.D. In Rhetoric. Well, she just doesn't.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good, here is another picture of the toddler:

OK bye.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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