Hello, good morning, and say so long, farewell, to Donald Trump's DUMPSTUPID pick for the director of national intelligence, Rep. John Ratcliffe, may he languish in boredom and irrelevance in the minority in the House until the day he decides to retire to the Old Louie Gohmert's Home with Devin Nunes and a dairy cow named Gem. Or, you know, until he has to resign for some kind of completely shocking scandal. Either.

Cool, Sarah Palin's ghostwriter is now ghostwriting Trump's tweets. Hadn't heard about the "LAMESTREAM MEDIA" in a while! And how is your family, Sarah? Todd staying out of trouble? Anything new/embarrassing with Bristol?

Anyway, the top ten stories of the week! Before we count down the top ten stories, though, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Kamala Harris Is President Of Making Trump Republicans Shit The Bed

9. South Dakota Forgets What 'Public' Means, Forces Schools To Put Up 'In God We Trust' Signs

8. Unfair Posse Comitatus Rule Won't Let Trump Have Police State Of His Dreams


6. Donald Trump Was The 9/11 First Responder Of Donald Trump's Dreams

5. Donald Trump Gets Mighty Touchy When A Black Man Threatens To Sue Ivanka, Huh?

4. Rudy Giuliani Will Be Lucky To Get Custody Of Both His Old Man Balls In This Divorce

3. People Are Having Some Very Intense Arguments About Who Is Allowed To Go To Disneyland

2. Let's See How Hard CNN Fucks This Thing Up: Your Democratic Debate Liveblog!

1. VANQUISH THEM, KAMALA. Your 27th-Night-In-A-Row Democratic Debate LIveblog!

Those are good stories!

Couple more pics from Casa de Wonkette:

Rebecca has 100 dogs and one dad. That is what we count in that picture.

OK that's all, go with God, etc.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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