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Whew! Another five-day week that felt like a 76-day week! We got nothing to say to you besides let's do this countdown, and also please click the buttons for give us money, because as usual, Wonkette is only supported by loving readers like you, so if you love us and want us to have salaries so we can Wonkette at you each and every day, PUT SOME GAS IN THE CAR, OK? Thank you, we love you.

Shall we count down the top ten stories of the week? Yes, we shall.


Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Howard Schultz: Go The FUCK Away Forever

9. A GOP Congressman Just Stole Devin Nunes's Favorite Love Cow

8. Meanwhile In Wingnutistan, It's Almost LOCK HER UP O'Clock!

7. Wonkette Book Club: Oh Fuck It's Reagan Time

6. Meet Stephanie Flowers, VOICE OF A RIGHTEOUS WRATHFUL GOD

5. Mitt Romney Bad At Birthday Cake

4. We Don't Mean To Be Rude, But Paul Manafort's Lawyer Is A Shithole Garbage Person

3. It's Like Yelp, But For Chickenshit Trump Snowflakes Who Need Their Mommy

2. The Week In Garbage Men: When's MEN'S History Month, Huh?

1. Trump Autographing Bibles In Alabama, So ... Um ... HAVE A BLESSED FUCKIN' WEEKEND, Y'ALL!

Those are good stories!

Here's another Kid Making Goofy Face pic:


OK, that's it.

Go with God!

Love,

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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