You can buy this!

Oh hey, Wonkers, it is Top Ten time, and we are going to make this even more faster than last week -- we ALWAYS SAY THAT -- because we are still on our big long trip, though we are not in New York anymore. Where are we? THAT'S FOR US TO KNOW AND YOU TO ... meh, fuck it, we are in Philly hanging with our BFFs. We will go back to our home some time in the future. OR WILL WE? Yes, because we miss our dog.

Anyway, we will count down your top ten posts in a sec.

First, let's pay the bills, because those are important. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it's 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress!

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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. OK But Seriously, WHERE THE FUCK IS MELANIA?

2. Roseanne Might Actually Be One Of Those Deplorable Trump Voters Rather Than Imaginary Just Worried About Jobs Trump Voters

3. This Incel-Forum-Owning, Pro-Rape VA Congressional Candidate Got Kicked The Hell Off The Internet

4. Our Nigerian Scammer

5. Please No! (Yes, Please) Don’t Take Bill Maher! (Kindly Carry Him Out Through The Back Entrance)

6. Oh By The Way, Devin Nunes’s Super Secret Classified Spy Briefing Yesterday? YOOOOOGE Knuckle Turd!

7. Oh Man, Sean Hannity Probably HATED Watching Fox News Yesterday

8. Samantha Bee Sorry For Thinking First Amendment Somehow Applies To Her. Her Mistake, Obviously!

9. The Week In Garbage Men: Bad Feminist Public Schools Won’t Even Let Boys Get Concussions, Masturbate In Locker Rooms

10. Jill Stein Robbed You Suckers Blind

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

We don't have a ton more pictures for you, except this one:

yes, we saw that last week, yes, Bernadette Peters was exquisite. She's 70 and STILL KILLING IT.

Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

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