Donate

You can buy this!


Oh hey, Wonkers, it is Top Ten time, and we are going to make this even more faster than last week -- we ALWAYS SAY THAT -- because we are still on our big long trip, though we are not in New York anymore. Where are we? THAT'S FOR US TO KNOW AND YOU TO ... meh, fuck it, we are in Philly hanging with our BFFs. We will go back to our home some time in the future. OR WILL WE? Yes, because we miss our dog.

Anyway, we will count down your top ten posts in a sec.

First, let's pay the bills, because those are important. You see, we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE, especially now that it's 2018 and we have a chance to TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! Or at least Congress!

So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 361, Polson MT 59860. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

Another way you can do that is to BUY WONKETTE SWAG! There MANY products in Ye Olde Wonkette Generale Store! You are interested in purchasing them all!

Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

Did we mention we love you?

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. OK But Seriously, WHERE THE FUCK IS MELANIA?

2. Roseanne Might Actually Be One Of Those Deplorable Trump Voters Rather Than Imaginary Just Worried About Jobs Trump Voters

3. This Incel-Forum-Owning, Pro-Rape VA Congressional Candidate Got Kicked The Hell Off The Internet

4. Our Nigerian Scammer

5. Please No! (Yes, Please) Don’t Take Bill Maher! (Kindly Carry Him Out Through The Back Entrance)

6. Oh By The Way, Devin Nunes’s Super Secret Classified Spy Briefing Yesterday? YOOOOOGE Knuckle Turd!

7. Oh Man, Sean Hannity Probably HATED Watching Fox News Yesterday

8. Samantha Bee Sorry For Thinking First Amendment Somehow Applies To Her. Her Mistake, Obviously!

9. The Week In Garbage Men: Bad Feminist Public Schools Won’t Even Let Boys Get Concussions, Masturbate In Locker Rooms

10. Jill Stein Robbed You Suckers Blind

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

We don't have a ton more pictures for you, except this one:

yes, we saw that last week, yes, Bernadette Peters was exquisite. She's 70 and STILL KILLING IT.

Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc