Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh thinks that the college football show must go on — COVID-19 be damned. He should agree to let his players cough on him after each game. (ESPN)

Republicans Jim Jordan, Ben Sasse, and of course Donald Trump all think unpaid (mostly) minority student athletes should risk their lives for America’s favorite fall entertainment. (Politico)

COVID-19 is continuing to surge in Georgia. There were 22,591 confirmed cases in the past week. However, that’s not stopping Atlanta suburb, Peachtree Corners. It’s holding summer concerts! Imagine dying because you saw the 1980s cover band, Electric Avenue. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Seattle performing artist Dimitri Woods thinks this specific moment of racial reckoning “feels different.” (Seattle Times)

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson wants to send kids back to school, but he understands that might mean closing pubs and restaurants. Despite the hair, it’s almost like he’s a functioning adult. (The New York Times)

Fewer people are flying now because of the pandemic, but those who do are packing heat. The rate of passengers trying to carry weapons through security tripled in July compared to the same month last year. (LA Times)

The president is actively sabotaging the post office so he can cheat his way to re-election, but the true victim in all this is Nikki Haley’s nephew, who didn’t promptly receive his birthday popcorn delivery. Haley called the manager on the Popcorn Factory in front of her tens of dozens of Twitter followers (OK, 663,000).

Trump and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi haven’t spoken in 10 months. Soon Pelosi will pass Melania Trump’s record. (CNN)

Mortal enemies Jared Kushner and Chris Christie are helping Trump prepare for his debates with Joe Biden. (Salon)

A California judge has ordered Uber and Lyft to stop classifying their drivers as “independent contractors,” as if we we were all getting rides from Boba Fett, and treat them instead like actual employees with benefits. (NPR)

Oregon Governor Kate Brown is not the highest paid state employee. She’s not even the highest paid state employee with the last name “Brown.” (The Oregonian)

Liberty University has named a new acting president now that Jerry Falwell Jr. has taken a leave of absence to acquire new pants. (The Washington Post)

My home state of South Carolina just surpassed 100,000 confirmed COVID-19 cases, and there are almost 2,000 confirmed deaths. Georgia, where I went to college, has passed 200,000 confirmed cases and more than 4,000 deaths. It's sad and maddening when you consider the starkly different approaches the governors took in Washington and Oregon, where cases and deaths are significantly lower. "Only" 360 people have died from the coronavirus in Oregon, yet that's the state where Trump sends in federal troops. (The Greenville News)

Antonio Banderas announced that he’s tested positive for the coronavirus. He turned 60 Monday and spent his birthday in quarantine. Bummer. He said he plans to spend this time alone reading, writing and "making plans to begin to give meaning to my 60th year to which I arrive full of enthusiasm.” You wish you were that chill. (AP)



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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).

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