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You've Been Ravaging Global Stability In My Mind All Day

Jimmy Carter is serenaded by drunks, Dick Cheney carefully selects which books will be burned in his knowledge destroying ceremony, and Paul Wolfowitz has a hotter, younger girlfriend to take long walks and talk about pillaging the world with.


Go get tan and drunk this weekend. Then come back rested and ready to send tips (with "Wonk'd" or "Sighting" in the subject line) about just who it was you saw at the beach with "dork" written on their chest in sunscreen.

* Jimmy Carter and his wife Roslyn were on Bourbon Street, of all places. They were listing to a band play at a little jazz garden area on Bourbon, between Bienville and Conti. After listening to several songs, the Carters walked out on to Bourbon and shook hands and greeted people with a fairly discreet Secret Service contingent around them. I lost sight of them as they turned down Bienville heading south toward the River. Both Jimmy and Roslyn look great for the ages. The people on the street and up on the balconies cheered and clapped and I heard someone yelling "God bless you, Jimmy!" from one of the balconies. I wonder if the adoration was because of Jimmy's humanitarian work or because he had declared the day before that Bush is the worst president ever.

* Saw Dick Cheney at the Georgetown Barnes & Noble. His little entourage was outside, and the place was crawling with goons. Anyway, he was browsing on the second floor for quite a while. I was surprised how close you actually were able to get to him. I walked right past him. There was a young woman in a long skirt holding a pile of books for him, but I couldn't see what they were. He paid downstairs, then was off. He spent at least 30-45 minutes there.

* Saw Paul Wolfowitz the other morning walking with a young, attractive, dark haired woman (not Riza) on the B&C tow path out by Great Falls.

* Saw Ladyhawke's Rutger Hauer at a Starbucks in Dupont Circle [5/24]. He was wearing a black blazer with red trim and a T-shirt with an image of Albert Einstein's head. In the half-second it took him to walk by my female colleague and me, he glared at me with eyes of hate and then winked at my colleague! It was a great moment. Classic Rutger.

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Blanket Disclaimer: Spitting on anybody is dead wrong. Even if it's a Trump.

Still, Eric Trump got to eat a tiny slice of the shit pie women, minorities, poors, disabled, and all of the other people who are deemed "takers" or who come from "shithole countries" experience at some point in their lives: He got spit on. By a woman, according to Breitbart (no link), because we are evil. Woe unto the wealthy white man! Wealthy white men are some of the most abused and marginalized people in the Universe, according to wealthy white men, and Eric Trump is no exception. Please cry for wealthy white men, ok you can stop now. Another group of Americans that are constantly abused, marginalized, and even denied their rights by the very same type of wealthy men that spawn such men as Eric Trump, are called "women." And apparently we are mean as fuck now.

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Well folks, we think we have a geopolitical relations first for an American president. We might need to consult with Doris Kearns Goodwin or Kevin Kruse, but we cannot recall a time one of America's purported enemies OR friends has called the president of the United States "retarded" or anything along those lines. We remember leaders hating American presidents. We remember them recoiling like UGH GET OFF ME when an American president tried to give them a friendly sensual love massage during the G8. We remember them literally attacking our democratic elections in order to prevent the inaugurations of potential presidents they despise and fear. But we don't remember anything like this.

President Hassan Rouhani of Iran, commenting on Donald Trump after the Trump administration threw some new sanctions at Iran on Monday:

Iran warned Tuesday that new U.S. sanctions targeting its supreme leader and other top officials meant "closing the doors of diplomacy" between Tehran and Washington amid heightened tensions, even as President Hassan Rouhani derided the White House as being "afflicted by mental retardation."

Here is the full quote, in case you were wondering if something was lost in translation, like that time Vladimir Putin called Trump "brilliant" and Trump was so excited he left a ring of orange jizz around the bathtub, but what Putin actually said in Russian more accurately translates as "colorful" or "shiny." There's no confusion here:

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