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Zombie Breitbart Now, Somehow, Perturbed By The Word “Slut”

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Let us all pause for a moment and listen closely, so as not to miss the quiet but familiar noise of another political argument going over Dana Loesch's head.


Loesch, Breitbart.com's leader in the War On The War On Women, has (surprise!) a bone to pick with you, Feminidiots. She heard some of you at the DNC were selling "SLUTS VOTE" buttons to reference to when Rush Limbaugh went all crazy on Sandra Fluke and called her all those names, and she would like you to know that WHOA GUYS, THAT IS NOT COOL.

"The Illinois delegation brought some swag to the DNC," she writes, "Because nothing says 'respect women' like wearing a giant slut button."

Ah, so you're saying the word "slut" is kind of disrespectful, maybe? A degrading slur custom-designed to attack a woman for her sexual identity? Glad we can finally agree on something.

But, just to be sure, let us unsheath our hypocrisy alarm to get a read on this "slut" business, because—

Damn. The hypocrisy alarm broke. Third one this week.

The cause of the break was caused by Loesch deciding that referencing Limbaugh's insults was pretty much the same as agreeing with Limbaugh's insults, and nobody over in the Big Misinformation Troll Hut appears to have corrected her, a deficiency most likely explained by most of the troll hut residents... agreeing with Limbaugh's insults.

How did Loesch's Zombie Breitbart colleagues deal with the scandal, other than turning Rush Limbaugh lambasting a grad student into a sinister Obama plot?

Well, here's a story from April, gleefully relating the news that Georgetown University would not be revising its contraception coverage. What's the lede on this one?

Sandra Fluke, the militant feminist activist-cum-Georgetown Law School student, has fallen short in her effort to force Georgetown to pay for her birth control.

Charming. What a lovely way to frame the debate over women's reproductive rights.

And here's Sam Sorbo, a week ago:

...although his choice of language was unfortunate, it wasn't wholly inaccurate. If someone (the government) pays for her to have sex, then, there's a name for that.

Quick translation: Not letting your employer dictate your medical treatment means the government is paying you to have sex. Just so you know. Unless you're a guy getting Viagra, in which case the "name for that" is medical insurance.

But there's one more example that the Troll Hut residents don't mind the word slut, even though Dana Loesch thinks it's so degrading. Here's a tweet from one of them, from back in March:

If you expect me to pay higher insurance premiums to cover your 'free' birth control, I can call you whatever I want.

Well, that's the opposite of what Dana Loesch is saying people should do! Who tweeted that? OH IT WAS DANA LOESCH I FORGOT.

So listen, people with the slut buttons: It's disrespectful to call women sluts, unless you disagree with their views on health care, in which case, yes, they are sluts, because of the dictionary, and also screw Obamacare. [Big Government]

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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