IS THIS THE END OF SNOWBILLY GRIFTING? The jihadist conspiracy of elitist liberal shopping mall patrons struck with merciless force yesterday at Minnesota’s Mall of America: only 300 people showed up to attend the Sarah and Bristol Palin book signing of Bristol’s new memoir about her life as a drunk pregnant teenager. The family abandoned the stage half an hour before the end of the time slot because there was nobody left. So are we at last witnessing the sad finale of Real American Freedom? Our true patriots are no longer willing to give up fifteen of their last dollars to support the unemployed offspring of this screeching, nightmare opportunist woman. Wait wait, oh come on, uh, how about if Sarah Palin says, “The Constitution of the United States is fricking awesome” three times out loud to anyone in line? Will they hand her some of those crumpled, sweaty dollars in that case?
From the CityPages:
The rules set up by Mall of America officials for Sarah and Bristol Palin’s book signing yesterday seemed to have been written in anticipation of an army of fans.
“‘Camping out’ is not allowed,” the rules read. “Beginning at 5 a.m., guests will be allowed to line up.”
But there was no teeming crowd of rabid Palinites at 5 a.m. And less than a half hour into the appearance of Bristol, Sarah and Todd Palin, the crowd had dwindled to a trickle of latecomers.
Palin has also dropped down to single digits among likely voters in a new Fox News poll. Can we say that America has finally started to quit Sarah Palin? Because we can’t say it any other way. [CityPages]
Read More:
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- Sarah Palin Refused To Be Called 'Grandma' After Grandson's Birth
- Small Town Texas Walmart Finds Time To Host Bristol Palin Book Signing
- Bristol Palin And Sean Hannity Make Beautiful Interview Together
- New Bristol Palin Memoir Tells How To Get Pregnant While Drunk
{ 294 comments }
Should have scheduled it at the Mall of Real America.
…which may explain why she didn't sign at a bookstore.
Or the book section of the Minneapolis Super Wal-Mart.
A mall full of white people on hoverrounds?
You mean the hobo beans stand they set up in the rubble of the old I-35 bridge?
Let this be a lesson to… somebody.
What she should have done is had the event at a Costco, and given a free pallet-load of Little Debbie snack cakes with each book.
holy crap, 355 upfists? that's the biggest p-ness I've ever seen for a Wonkette commentater…well done Wunker!
Well, she can always fall back on mud wrestling Michele Bachmann after her spectacular flame out.
She'll hire World Net Daily's lawyers and sue Tina Fey for $500 million for defamation.
FTFY
LOL!
My Married Lover hates Tina Fey with the heat of a thousand suns for "what she did to Sarah Palin." I really cannot talk to her about this, at all. I have made no headway by suggesting that Fey's take on Palin was popular because it hit at something people recognized–nope, it was just plain character assassination foisted on a public that otherwise would have recognized Sarah for the good decent person that she is.
Tina did a lot to make Sarah look good… real good.
How can someone consider Sarah a good decent person?
Doc, don't take this the wrong way, but are there other women where you live?
"it's complicated"
Also, the sex is fantastic. Also, too, there's the whole "caring" thing, which sometimes makes a partner's weirdass politics less impossible to deal with than one might think.
It generally is with the crazy. That's the corollary to the maxim of "Never stick your dick in crazy" after all.
Oh dear.
Of course, she/he embraces the republican agenda, so I'm assuming that includes all the moral hoo-hah they espouse?
Just be careful, Doc.
Eh…don't worry Dok…I got yer back, after all, I'm liberal enough to post on this site and occassionally get upfists and I was born and raised in mormon-hell, 90% GOP SLC. Yes, I did deflower more than one mormon girl…so, I know the pain of dealing with people with strange poitical and and/or religious views (in my case)…if the sex is good enough, it doesn't matter if she thinks Palin is more intelligent than a cinch bug or not (she isn't).
The crazy chicks always give the best sex.
See Hunter, Rielle.
To be fair, they were having a 50% off sale at Lane Bryant, two storefronts away.
Ladies' panties half-off is always an eye-catcher.
Entendre is delish when doubled…
And even moreso when grammatically incorrect!
//Sorry, Weejee. My inner word-nerd sneaks out from time to time.
arrare matey, avast the pluralzand a promotion of Hoveround™ just the next stair
I heard the refrigeration at Orange Julius had gone down (again) and they were giving away their stock. Like, everybody, was over on the other end of the mall, I mean, free Orange Julius!
I didn't know he was in prison.
Sorry.
Mall of America is the largest retail shopping mall in the United States with more than 2,768,400 million feet of retail space, over 520 stores, 50 restaurants and Nickelodeon Universe®, the nation’s largest Nickelodeon® theme park with 24 amusement park rides including a roller coaster that winds around the enclosed atrium of the mall.
——————————
And somehow, is still smaller than Bristol's vagina.
Yeah, but she was drunk and passed out in a tent. What did you expect.
Ha ha. The no camping out sign was for Bristol.
She's do damned dumb she didn't realize that fabrication says that Levi raped her.
Her new meme is that it wasn't consensual, but it wasn't rape.
It's scary that they think that WE are that dumb.
She made that story up to deflect attention from her actually getting preggers after Saint Sarah have him move in with them. You know, like every conservative family does with unwed kids, move in their horny boyfriends.
Reminds me of the old drinking song from college, with the Frito Bandito tune:
Aye yi yi yi
Your mother swims out to meet troopships.
Not just a Fritos commercial, but an actual popular folksong; Cielito Lindo.
You learn these things when you marry into a Mexican family.
And a rugby song. . . .
Thanks for that….I almost coughed up a lung!
me too also!
The difference being, that story about how the soon-to-be high school dropouts who got drunk and passed out inside the Mall of America? Probably true.
What? Nickelodeon Universe? What happened to Camp Snoopy?
The bells on my special Andy Warhol 15 minutes of fame alarm clock are ringin' like Paul Revere on meth right now.
I evinced a tear, that was so wonderfully said.
This is the very best sentence ever written on the Internet, possibly excepting those in Barb's diatribe yesterday about the gay bulling advocate.
"Andy Warhol 15 minutes of fame alarm clock"
Unfortunately for all of us, that particular clock seems to have a snooze alarm, which the Palins have somehow figured out how to keep hitting.
Who knew getting Paul Revere wrong meant jumping the shark even with Dumbfuckistanis?
They would have ripped her to shreds if she got the John Quincy Adams part wrong.
Wednesday is bowling/Red Lobster/Christian Science Reading Room night in Real America. No time for Sister Sarah.
No mules for Sister Sarah.
Bite your tongue, with Bristol and Sarah moving to Arizona, how long do you think it will be before they are broke and heading down to Mexico to perform in some Bride of the Burrow shows?
Soon I hope, I got a stack of old peso coins to throw.
Soemwhere a gay cowboy in Montana is saying "St Sarah of the Stupids, I jus' caint quit you. No, wait, si se puede!"
Dern messicans.
Please don't use Montana and Sarah in the same sentence, it hurts our image. Sheep lie!
Next time, Mooselini should make sure that she puts her signing table next to a Hoveround™ charging station and a food court.
Yeah, the signing was probably in the cobwebbed Waldenbooks that Mall of America denizens think is haunted. Just poor placement choice.
I wonder if security had to fish Willow out of the fountain and make her put the pennies back?
That a female guard took her into the ladies room to "check" is disturbing.
To be fair, SHINY THINGS!
Oh Barb – your grifting skills need fine-tuning. Never bother with the pennies. Go for the silver coins – especially the quarters!
Meet me at the Coinstar!
"Never bother with the pennies. Go for the silver coins – especially the quarters!"
Quarters are a lot easier to pick up no-hands, for one.
You can't have a fish picker in Minnesota.
How do you do it? Every comment is such a gem.
"Dropped down to double digits" in the latest poll? Was she in triple digits before?
Remember, this is Fox Nooze, home of polls with results adding up to 187%.
Not intended to be a mathematical statement.
The previous Fox News poll had her at 130 percent, just behind Mitt.
Since when is 8 not a double-digit number?
I figured it to mean "actual" supporters (under 100)… hell a college football team has more supporters… in their pants.
If you had been properly home schooled you would know that 2 is the double digit.
"Double digits" means you need the fingers of both hands.
According to Palin's wikipedia entry, one million people attended this book signing.
We should go to Wikipedia and say that they stayed at a cheap motel, Big Dick's Halfway Inn.
Actually, the Alaska landmark is Skinny Dick's Halfway Inn: http://www.skinnydicksak.com/skinnydicksak/index….
Girl, you are on fire these days!
wingnuts should've been quarantined in Conservapedia for internet's sake
Including Paul Revere and John Wayne.
Well, she can always go back to bobbing for "apples" in the Don's John.
Kinda expected this to happen.
I've said it once and I'll say it again..
DAMN YOU MCCAIN!!1!
I know! I thought he was against torture. Yet he foists Sarah Palin™ and her family on us.
in McCain's defense, during his 231 years of life, he never for even once imagine that torture can come in the form of a snowbilly grifter
Lou Sarah is the bridge to nowhere.
I blame the lizard people.
Leave Rick Scott out of this conversation!
Maybe some crazy rock guitarist had all those Minniebraniacs in a Stranglehold, and they couldn't make it.
Apparently you had to buy a Sarah Palin book to get a Sarah scrawl and you had to buy a Bristol book to get a Bristol scribble. I think the Teabaggers were just intimidated by all that reading.
Or, maybe after three fucking years the griftees are finally seeing the cracks?
I hope so.
I don't know. Hollowed-out books are great places to stash your oxy, or to hide your ammunition from the British.
>I think the Teabaggers were just intimidated by all that reading.
To be honest, so would I. o__O
I don't think they read. I think it's just tough to hold two full-sized hardback books under your arm when you're already juggling the 2011 Special Edition Precious Moments Collection and three full shopping bags from K&G.
Palin has also dropped down to double digits among likely voters in a new Fox News poll.
To be fair, she couldn't stay at 163% support forever, even among Fox viewers.
We grow some great people in our mall towns.
Sarah had to make bank on the day by having Tawd give dry hand jobs in the parking lot, while she pretended to be Bachmann and got some free clothes from Claire's Basement.
Well, to be fair…
Screw that…. FAIL REDUX!
Time to retire the bumpit, and the stuffed monkeys, beeyatch. See ya!
I guess people are starting to say nope to dope.
Finally, Nancy Reagan's plans come to fruition!
Not "Yeth!" to meth?
At least the Palin's are consistent in their quitting.
All that friggin' bell ringin' drives folks away!
AMEN!! Thanks for not showing people… there is hope!
And no one glittered her. How disappointing.
Once teh geiz dump you, you really are nobody.
On any given day, the MOA has over 100k visitors, (no shit!) That means that at least 99,700 people who were already there actively avoided seeing the Palins.
And bless them every one.
The savoring…the savoring.
I suspect people were afraid to "camp out" anyway near the Palins fearing they would wake up hungover on cheap wine coolers and knocked up.
Don't forget the hookworm!
If you went camping and got all drunk, and woke up in the morning with a sticky, sore ass, would you tell anyone? No? Wanna go camping?
Actually, that's the line Levi used to invite Bristol on the camping trip.
I have a friend(who must be losing it) who told me Bristol was raped and had been a virgin. I laughed – and then realized this person was serious. I told her that she needed to get some serious educational help if she bought that crap.
If that idea gains traction, wouldn't Levi have a good reason to file a lawsuit?
I just realized this can be my next Halloween costume…go with a tent, a 6 pack of wine coolers and a funny look on my face.
Pick -up line — "Hey there, I could sure use some help pitchin' my tent."
Show some skin, Sarah.
Not you, Bristol.
The dream is fading, time to return with their shabby loot to Meth Town.
Thanks a lot Bristol for scaring away all the people that wanted to see your Mother!
Everyone defected, and went to Ken Layne's book signing instead. Yay!
So after three years of jerking people around, America is finally starting to catch on?
Should I dare to hope?
No
Nah – the true believers just can't afford to buy any more books.
"Nah – the true believers just can't afford to buy any more books."
And despite much trying, they can't figure out how to change the channels on them. So that's kind of frustrating.
It makes me less Afraid of Life.
Nah, they shafted the maid as usual.
On the ball, I see
Not what she meant by "getting stiffed."
But it made her a little testy.
They knocked the price up just for Bristol.
Oh I think they can be proud that almost none of them showed up to see her.
I'd flame out for some lingonberry jelly.
Let's see — Bristol's a single mother preaching abstinence, fronting for a charity whose only purpose is to pay her, and her last big media appearance, on Dancing with the Stars, was under the category of "neither" — the dipshit's lucky she hadn't played out a loooong time ago.
I bet Bristol Brisket Thighs is probably re-thinking paying cash for that palace in Maricopa, AZ. If she would have taken out an ARM, she could just not pay the bill and default – since quitting seems to be so easy for that family.
Minus the 500 idiots in attendance, thank you remaining people of Minnesota for not acknowledging these two tin-foil hat twittering twats with book purchases.
Sarah's spectacular flame-out was prompted by her more-than-usual fucked up speechifying the day before at her Not-About-Me movie premier.
http://www.themudflats.net/2011/06/30/palins-rema...
What will it take for people to realize this family is simply crazy Valley Trash? Sarah shaving her head like Brittany but looking like Gabby's surveyor-mark shooter?
The free market has spoken, expect a product re-tool in the near future. May I humbly suggest a blast from the past tour with other conservative legends from the past like Tom Delay?
"The free market has spoken, expect a product re-tool in the near future."
*ponders*
Now let's see, which of her children hasn't been exploited enough yet?
184%. It's a Fox News poll.
It's FOX math we're talking about. Reasonably, we could even assume they are including the digit after decimal point., as in 26.4% is TRIPLE DIGIT SUPPORT!
New Mall of America signs (posted for this "event")
Absolutely NO drinking and sex on the roller coaster!
Please pick up your own wine cooler bottles
Do not shoot the stuffed wolves at KB Toy Store
Wonder how many guys asked Brizzly to sign the book "Heywood Jiblomy ?"
Bristol, "No, I already know how to spell it, thanks"
I would have asked her to sign mine: "Anna Bortion" Bah, ha ha!
TV converters on local access channels.
Is it possible to reach a level of Too Stupid for even Teh Stoopids to put up with anymore?
I think it's called The Law of Diminishing Ret[dacted]..
Sad, delusionary grifter! Still thinks she is the cat's pajamas! How fickle the public is!
Mall libel!!!
"Mom, there's no one here. Let's go get some Zimas and a pack of smokes."
"OK – tell the help to pack up. And find out where Willow wandered off to – she's supposed to be looking after the brat."
2 packs a peace?
"Mom, there's no one here. Let's go get some Zimas and a pack of smokes."
And some of those cakes we like.
"Camping out’ is not allowed”
This is bad news for Willow's bf.
looks like america quit sarah.
"Palin has also dropped down to double digits among likely voters in a new Fox News poll."
But her wikipedia says her approval rating is still in the triple digits.
One "author" tried to use scientific notation but was shouted down because anything scientific is the work of the devil.
Measuring is junk science.
Wait… Sarah and Bristol were at a mall… trying to convince Americans to read?!
No, not to read. Just to cough up money for Bristol's book.
1. Commemorative grifter coins featuring a picture of the Palin clan. On the other side, they read "Keep the change, I'll keep my freedumbs, you betcha!"
2. Wolf jerky made from Alaskan wolves gunned down by Snowbilly from a helicopter.
3. Bristol would make an excellent spokeswoman for Trojan condoms.
4. Palin rifle scopes so you can keep those damn librule, communist, 'Merikan hatin' politicians in the crosshairs.
Palin
rifle scopessurveying instrumentsAlso, "Sarah Palin's Bag-O-Hammers" would be an excellent marriage of product and personality.
Quitters quit.
You just can't explain it.
This is not the hot dish you were looking for.
Don't be in a rush. She still has yet to demonstrate her ping-pong tricks on YouJizz.
I saw enough banana cutters, vag-smoking, and peso shows in Bangkok and Subic to last a lifetime, thanks.
Soon she'll be in a booth next to Pete Rose signing trading cards.
Maybe that's her latest grifting plan – she'll run for President, then make a bunch of anonymous bets against her own campaign while intentionally tanking it.
Intentionally… NOW THAT'S FUNNY!!
Short her own campaign on InTrade, in other words. That gives me an idea…
hoverounds?
A series of 'blind leading the blind' tomes :
"American History for Dummies"
"Family Planning for Dummies"
" Plucking a Turkey for Dummies"
I could go on….
my 1st choice, too, then bibles for history books.
Minnesota is Bachmann territory. They already have their own crazy person to applaud for when talking trash.
I am somewhat surprised that it hasn’t been broken up into “true relics” to be worn around the necks of the faithful.
If/when President Obama gets re-elected in 2012, we may very well see that happen.
"worn around the necks of the faithful"
ATTN Judge Prosser
alright, from now on just tell us when they don't quit something or other.
THAT would be news.
This reminds me of used car salesmen hyping their Summer Sale-Athon by adding the phrase "Door open to the Public at 9:00. Absolutely No Dealers Allowed!" to their Sunday circular ad.
Or the 1950's horror movie promotion: "Nurses will be on duty in the lobby!"
"only 300 people showed up to attend the Sarah and Bristol Palin book signing of Bristol’s new memoir about her life"
Dawn is breaking in America. Finaly
Our long national nightmare, etc.
Dawn of the (brain) Dead. We still have a few more years with the Tea Bagger crowd. They will likely get all patrioty again once the election cycle gets fully into motion.
I never believed "people" generally were ever very much into Sarah Palin. She's a media creation, primarily – and they're the ones who loved her most because she is what they imagine to be so cartoonishly gosh-darn "folksy".
Most regular people have been laughing at her for a year and a half, and her "fanbase" is sort of like the same 20% who think the moon landing was faked and fluoridation is a Communist plot.
Selling bad ghost-written books to illiterates isn't really something you can do indefinitely. Actual readers don't care and the illiterates have no attention span. Maybe they're finally bored with her.
Fluoridation is actually a capitalist plot to dispose of potentially dangerous toxic chemical waste by diluting it in the masses' water.
"Selling bad ghost-written books to illiterates isn't really something you can do indefinitely. Actual readers don't care and the illiterates have no attention span. Maybe they're finally bored with her."
She should have skipped the book thing and just sold used panties to her base. Same thing, really.
And…we're back to scratch and sniff, I think.
Re that 20% figure that is forever bandied about….doesn't it give you pause that one in five of your fellow citizens is fucking insane and proud of it?
Are we supposed to be relieved or something that the figure isn't 50%?
Oh. Neurologists and behaviorists say the figure is actually is greater than 50%. Nevermind.
Time for her and Todd to go back to AK where he can lick her wounds.
Eeew…
I could say something about the hellish gash that meat axe left, but I won't.
"Time for her and Todd to go back to AK where he can lick her wounds."
Is that wise? Shouldn't he just slap some disinfectant and strong antibiotics on "those" wounds?
Ooh- that's a nasty gash, alright.
To be fair, that venue is just too large for her fans. Fox News reported thousands of Lard Rovers stranded in the parking lot and bowels of the site having exhausted their batteries riding at full tilt to see their Heroine.
"…riding at full tilt to see their Heroine."
That is the funniest mind picture!
"Hyeah! Hyeah! Hang on, Gladys, I'm gonna try something!"
Maybe they were exhausting their bowels at a toilet somewhere?
Hmmmm. “Depends”.
Still don't want to see her chin. Just the top of her head, please.
Bachmannia, all you Foster Babies! BACHMANNIA!!!!1!!!!
Bag of Good Ole American Air. 9.99 and if you act now, you can get two Bags of Good Ole American Air for 19.00. Call now. Operators are standing by.
That's $19.95… everyone knows everything is $19.95… just pay separate shipping and handling.
Never mind that that air was in socialist haven Canada two days earlier.
I can't wait to see who Sarah blames for the low turnout.
Comment on the Grifter's Facebook page:
I am an UN-APOLOGETIC AMERICAN!! I Pledge Allegiance to the FLAG of the UNITED STATES of AMERICA, and to the REPUBLIC (not democracy) for which it stands, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, with LIBERTY and JUSTICE for ALL. I grew up reciting this every morning in school. It is a shame we do not do this any more for fear of offending someone. I do not care if this offends someone because I am Proud to be American.
I bet that this person also recited the "not a democracy" part, too.
Also, too, and further, as a substitute teacher, I can attest that schools still require the pledge (In Idaho, at least). It's interesting to see the students' waning enthusiasm for the pledge when I sub in junior high schools–while I would attribute that to the kids seeing it as an empty ritual, no doubt it's LIBERAL UNION TEACHERS at fault…
Oh, and a lover of free speech replied to the comment above: " It should be mandatory – if you don't like it then leave this country!"
So, this person is gonna give up voting? Good…
I didn't even know what half of the stuff in that poem meant until I was about 15…
Don't they realize that it's shockingly similar to the evil commie indoctrination that they all complain about all the time?
They say they want to be free, but I suspect they just want to be controlled by specific kinds of people.
I recited the Pledge every morning in school too. I'm also a veteran.
It didn't make me a retard.
"Oh, and a lover of free speech replied to the comment above: " It should be mandatory – if you don't like it then leave this country!" "
Good idea, but it doesn't go far enough.
What this country really needs is mandatory loyalty oaths, signed in blood, to declare the allegiance of all good Amurrcans to Jebus, America, the flag, and the Presid–
Um…
It was probably a bad idea for the Payins to set up their book-signing encampment in front of the Victoria's Secret store and the Sunny's Surplus store.
Here's a passage from Bristol Palin's book, Chapter 13:
"I actually got drunk with my mom and Todd a bunch of times. Mom likes weird old-people drinks, like Tom Collins, Manhattans, Whiskey Sours and those icky martini things, but she doesn't like flavors in her martinis!! How can anyone drink unflavored martinis!! Mom also downs about four Bloody Marys every Saturday and Sunday, and she puts a lot of Tabasco and Frank's Hot Sauce in them! Ew! Ick! Todd–I've always called him Todd because, well, you know, he's always been my very 'special friend,' you know, heart, heart–likes bourbon, whiskey and rum, and he drinks several shots of Wild Turkey and Southern Comfort with every meal, including breakfast! Some days, that's the only thing he has for breakfast!! Levi used to like to drink these fruity drinks like Mad Dog, Tinkled Pink and Boone's Farm. We have fun drinking in our family! Myself, I love screwdrivers. I could have a big ol' screwdriver every day, sometimes twice a day!!"
If you were Todd, stuck with Sarah for life, you would drink too. Especially at breakfast!
Yes, but Tinkled Pink? In the morning?
"martini things, but she doesn't like flavors in her martinis!! How can anyone drink unflavored martinis!!"
A drink that tastes like raspberry lemonade, a butterscotch sundae, or Oreo cookies, may be many things.
It may even have good qualities in its own way.
It is not, however, a martini.
So let's see….300 people x $15 book = not enough to cover trip expenses. Sounds like Bristol is gonna get a Jury Duty call soon…
ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!! Please, America, just ignore them until they go away.
Defining deviancy down. Or in this case, dumb.
glory hallelujah
I stole this idea from another Wonketeer (sorry can't remember who, but it was brilliant), it kind of fits:
"Listen, and understand. That griftinator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until your wallet is bled."
Nooooo! I need her and Michele Bachman to be the 2012 GOP ticket!
A little perspective here. I was at the Mall of America in late 2004 when Sean Astin (the actor who played Samwise Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings movies) was there for a book signing. He had written a book ("There and Back Again: An Actor's Tale") about his experiences making the popular movie. The line was very long and the people polite while waiting. I was on the level above and pretty much directly over the podium they had set up. Any security was discrete and there were likely no problems.
So, for the Girfters to have only sold 300 books in that period of time must have been very much below their expectations. I'd say the word will get out to other potential venues very quickly and signings will be inside the actual bookstores from now on. No special set ups for them again. Ever.
One does not simply grift into Mordor.
Loved Sean Astin in "Rudy"
I liked him in Goonies. A good Oregon based film.
Come to think of it, I want a sword that glows when Sarah Palin is near, too.
This is good news for John McCain?
It's a good day to be alive.
Hey, buddy, I've seen enough horror movies to know that you can never relax when you think the horrific zombie nightmare psycho grifter creature is dead. It always rises again and eats someone (usually the black sidekick) before it's finally subdued.
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Beat em or burn em. They go up pretty quick.
In retrospect I should really have inserted Loboutin into my line somewhere.
The free market is now a librul socialist plot to keep Sarah and Bristol from getting all the Stupids to give them their money, though you won't know this as the lamestream media won't tell the truth.
Spam, spam, spam, spam….
Bitch Slapped by the Invisible Hand of the Free Market
Probably didn't even notice. It's walleye fishing season.
Pan-fried walleye…uhhhmmm…
I'm playing the "schaden frueden" part from Beethoven's Ninth real real loud! Thats the part that The Killers suddenly break into at the end of Mr. Brightside.
Reverse mortgages.
Finally, our long national nightmare is over?
That's assuming there is a football season this year.
If the numbers that showed up for the book signing are indicative of the people that voted for Bachmann, someone needs to investigate how votes are being counted in that district.
Dunno, my parents did a better job to help me understand math than my math teachers. Of course I still barely understand it anyway.
It happened to Yahoo Serious, and it was bound to happen to Sarah.
It's definitely time for Sarah to announce her candidacy.
Also, a missed opportunity for me. I could have asked her to sign my copy of Nailin' Palin.
Looks like the reading public is abstaining.
That might make her followers head explode.
"IS THIS THE END OF SNOWBILLY GRIFTING? "
No. That will never end. She quit this one gig halfway through because she's Sarah Palin and she never completes anything. I'm surprised she hasn't started just going by Sa Pa, so she doesn't even have to finish spelling her own name.
But she'll never GIVE UP grifting. She'll just quit gigs the minute they don't provide enough money/attention, and move on to the next one, leaving someone else to cover up for her and telling three different "excuses" for why she's leaving at the same time. It's the Palin way.
She'll end up on late night TV, between the ads for fly-by-night colleges and the redneck knife segment on Home Shopping Network!
This just in…
http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/169213-palin...
Donate $100 and get a copy of the new movie. Gee, I seem to remember hearing she had nothing to do with the picture.
I don't know when the absolute deadline is on presidential declarations and filing campaign documents, but it can't come soon enough.
It's funny when embarrassing shit happens to people that you don't like.
"It's funny when embarrassing shit happens to people that you don't like."
So simply, and eloquently, and truthfully, put.
Looks like it's time for Sarah to look into Celebrity Apprentice.
Out in Middle Dumfuccinstan, where liberal arguments based in "logic" don't mean a thing because the citizenry doesn't know "things," the main draw of Lou Sara was the idea that she "made liberals so angry." Once the citizenry of glorious Dumfuccistan realized (after 3 years!) that liberals were pointing and laughing, but not at all upset by Sarah Palin, they dumped her shit like half-drank lukewarm strawberry lemonade from Sonics.
Maybe Bristol could get pregnant again. By Todd. And Sarah could become a rescuer AND a victim. They could all go to heaven in a little row boat, clap hands.
Trig could be the little man in the boat.
Maybe all the females in the family can get pregnant, all-together and all at the same time!
Amen and amen.
♪♫Discount Chins and Cheeks!♫♪
If Screechin' Sarah, Bangin' Bristol and Re-Todd can't draw a big crowd at the freakin' Mall of Murica does that mean it's game over? Nah, I'm sure they'll come up with a new grift to drain TPers cash.
Even cowgirls get the blues (when they stop making money.) Like mother, like daughter. Bristol is selling herself in any form or fashion just like Sarah, to make that money. Talk about some successful capitalists- all body and no brains. See what they’re willing to do for the cash at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/06/ecstas...
Kelly from The Office probably had a larg following when she went on her shopping spree there
needz moar bellz ringing
To keep up with the family's grifting tradition, Todd needs to write a book. I wonder what the title will be.
"A Joe for Sarah's Shoe."*
*"Put yourself in her shoe’s Joe for one day."
"Two Meth-Heads for Sister Sarah"?
Help! I'm Being Held Prisoner!
"If I Did It"
Oh to think of the life lessons we've all learned from Bristol's book.
Yeah, don't drink cheap booze with teen-age boys when you've forgotten your birth control devices at home!
And if you do, don't write a book about it because nobody wants to read that crap.
Maybe she was talking about being able to see "Russia House," the novel.
No? Never f*^#in' mind.
Kinda reminds me of when Spinal Tap was left high and dry during a record store signing of "Smell the Glove". Maybe the Palin hicks can milk it for a few more years in North Dakota.
Does Trig get to kick Paul Shaffer in the ass? Cause that would be awesome.
Letting those scum into the MOA is an insult to the spirit of Metropolitan Stadium.
Hubert would shit his pants.
The rules ensure that you have to buy a Mini-Grifter book to get an autograph from Mama Grifter…
You must have a copy of “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far” in order to purchase a copy of “America by Heart” and/or “Going Rogue” signed by Sarah Palin. Limit 4 books per guest.
No one came because Bristol's story hit too close to home.
So they had little Tripp, the Bristol/Levi spawn with them? How lovely for him to listen to his whorish mother happily tell her mouth-breathing fans how much she hates his father.
She has the runs?
Isn't someone in the brood going to run away, allege abuse or molestation or something, then write a scurrilous memoir?
"She never said she could see Russia from her house! She only said that sharing a strait with a nearly uninhabited part of the former Soviet Union qualifies as foreign policy expertise! Lieberals are so unfair!"
Maybe Esquire could work on that one.
speech sayin $he$ leavin public life to $pend more time with her family on the who gives a fuck about you channel in 5,4,3,…
I see she didn't have the guts to visit the Real Minnesota, you know, the actual cities of Minneapolis and Saint Paul.
Reminds me of these memorable lines from "Tombstone:"
Curly Bill: Well… bye.
Johnny Ringo: Smell that, Bill? Smells like someone died.
Who says Wonkette never has uplifting articles?
Sarah Palin next seen lining her children up for Children's Crusade II to retake the holy land, for Jesus. Donate Now!
*inhales deeply*
Ahhhhhhh…
Smells like schaedenfreude…
And fail…
And comeuppance.
Hey guys, Sarah was actually the victim this time! Had to happen eventually.
Serves them right for hiring Artie Fufkin to do their event publicity:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv5FwzRBc_Y&fe...
"Do me a favor, kick my ass."
I just had a thought. What if Sarah is naive enough to take another huge advance from the publisher and then spend it on stupid shit. Should could end up dead broke.
Needz moar dancing midget leprechauns.
"Palin has also dropped down to single digits among likely voters in a new Fox News poll"
Fortunately, the wimmenzfolk in that fambly are pretty used to poles by now.
I think everybody has pretty much gotten their nickel's worth of "Bristle with her clothes off" by now.
A long time obviously.
If I bought "The Chin's" book I would insist that Trigg sign it too. I'd settle for a footprint even.
Wow. This incident of a mall populace exhibiting sanity might have been what it would have taken for Bill Hicks to say something nice about a mall.
why does every Palin commitment end up with the word "half"?
Wine coolers, for sure.
Boner cream. Er, anti-boner cream, I mean.
The slightly more PG-friendly version of that maxim that I heard is "Never sleep with anybody crazier than yourself".
Fortunately or unfortunately, I'm just crazy enough to think that that narrows the field too much to bother with.
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