Mitt Romney is struggling desperately to shore up his lagging popularity with the far right-wing base of teabagger idiots who still harbor a delusional nostalgia for the shadow presidency years when Dick Cheney spent actual trillions of dollars driving up America’s debt to wage torture and war across the entire planet, so Mittens told an audience of these people (in Arizona, natch) who asked him about his potential veep choices that he’d be just tickled to restore Dick Cheney’s undead corpse to the throne.
The NY Daily News reports:
Romney made the declaration at a town hall meeting in Arizona when asked if he’d consider having a Tea Partier on his ticket.
The former Massachusetts governor didn’t answer the question directly, but said, “I think it was last weekend I was watching C-SPAN, and I saw Vice President Dick Cheney, and he was being asked questions about a whole host of issues: following 9/11, the affairs in various countries in the world.”
Romney continued, “And I listened to him speak and said whether you agree or disagree with him, this is a man of wisdom and judgment, and he could have been President of the United States. That’s the kind of person I’d like to have – a person of wisdom and judgment.”
Good call, Mittens. There are probably a few little brown kids running around in Nicaragua somewhere that Dick Cheney didn’t have the chance to firebomb with his “wisdom and judgment.” [NY Daily News]
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{ 192 comments }
Okay, so much for a Republican candidate with two brain cells to rub together. Check, please.
Meh. As always, Romney is smart enough not to say what he really thinks, in front of a conservative crowd. (Which in this case, a guy like Huntsman for veep, probably? They share similar views on many things.)
Pander pander pander.
Two Mormons on the ticket?
They can bring back door-to-door campaigning.
Synergy!
Huntsman wouldn't bring the Romney camp any votes. With all them Southern evangelicals hatin' on his wrinkled saggy old Mormon ass, Mittens needs some Southern evangelical vote-bringing loon in his camp, because he can pretty much take the Northern states and he will certainly do a lot better than Perry in the blue states of the West Coast and the purple states. Rick Perry will go over in those states like the proverbial fart in a sauna.
Mitt & Dick? I can see the campaign slogans now.
Mitt n' Dick
Write it that way, then say it out loud. A very Beavis and Butthead moment.
Mitt Happens.
"Mitt & Dick! But only until I need glasses."
Mitt & Dick? Wasn't that a gay men's porno?
Wrap your Dick in a Mitten…
A dick in every mitt!
A mitt on every dick!
Mittens and Dickens (as in Charles)
Too literary for their supporters.
A Dick in the Mitt is worth two Dicks in da Bush????
Put your mitt on my dick,
your mitt on my dick,
your mitt on my dick, baby
OK, that's all I got, but it comes with some very zappa high-level rock-type music.
Oh, ferfruckssake, Mittens. Way to shore up the "I heart evil" vote.
Well, since Perry is for executing prisoners regardless of their guilt and Ron Paul channels Ebenezer Scrooge and thinks the uninsured just need to die, where else is Mittens to go but hard core heart of darkness.
Cheney should run in 2012. That would make him the first three-term president since Franklin Roosevelt
Yes, but it felt like three with Cheney.
I agree — Cheney is the quintessential TP/Repubican candidate. He revels in their culture of death. He even had his heart removed so he can actually be dead.
Actually, I suspect that Bush 41 had 3 terms. He was Reagan's Cheney.
A man of wisdom and judgement who saw fit to hole up in a cave, scared shitless, throughout the Bush administration.
Actually, stated that way . . .
And still needs to hole up in US America, lest he travel abroad and be arrested on war crimes charges.
Actually, he revealed he was holed-up in two places the terrusists would never look for him: his home and Camp David.
"[Cheney was being asked questions about]… the affairs in various countries in the world…"
Mitt makes eight years of Emperor Palpatine sound like a remake of an Audrey Hepburn – Cary Grant movie.
Vader/Palpatine 2012!
Didn't we cover this ground with the Tatooine post yesterday?
It's what Mormons are good at.
I have Mitt in my office GOP primary league, how many fantasy politics points is pining for the Bush years worth again?
I'm sure Ken Layne knows people who could hook you up with Bill Simmons's phone number so you can ask.
(Full disclosure: the Grantland Reality Tee-Vee Fantasy League is my guilty pleasure.)
I believe it is -119 "p" points. But have fun!
Smart man. Unlike Rick Perry, Mitt would have to balance his ticket with an abundance of bloodlust.
Makes sense. They're both soulless robots.
Clearly, Mittens would blow a camel if it would get him 5 votes.
/ not the Camel Joe tobackie kind, neither, no how. Mittens is a member of the Church of Latter Day Savants and they just don't smoke the tobacco.
Just bones.
It would get him at least one vote, except that camels aren't allowed to vote.
I bet Cheney accepts, too. I'm sure he pines for the days of torture on Saturday, church on Sunday. Because he's SO going to heaven, you know.
Church on Sunday? Cheney doesn't attend services, he just manipulates those who do.
Cheney, for me, crystallizes Arendt's book on Eichmann's trial. If there really were a god or any kind of justice in this world, that soulless prick would be facing multiple life sentences for his crimes.
Edit to correct misspelling.
Now that's the kind of "taking our country back" I'm talking about!
Bush used to get mad at cabinet meetings when people would address their remarks to Cheney instead of him. Is that what Mittens wants?
Bush was cowering at Barksdale AFB after 9/11 (lotsa security because of the big nuke dump there) while Cheney was trampling on the Constitution and chain of command to order fighters to shoot down airliners. Is that what Mittens wants?
I know Mittens looks like a department store show window mannequin, but thought he was smarter than one.
then we step out…
and break the glass.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkuUuBt7nrE
The issue, my dear V572, is not whether Mittens is smart. The issue is whether there is any low to which Mittens will NOT descend in his desperate reaching after power. I do believe this miserable corporate clone would gladly drag the embalmed Cheney from the grave if he thought it would help him win the Presidency, regardless of what that evil man has done.
Um okay? Just so you remember Mittens… Dick "Dick" Cheney was the most loathed man in US America during 2003-2008. It's not like he's going to bring back memories of Iraqis throwing flowers and candies to liberators, being right on the weapons of mass destruction or his caring and compassion when he accidentally shot a man in the face.
BTW, this is the 2nd time, Dick's being involved in a face shooting but this is the first time when the victim shot himself in the face.
he made Mittens shoot himself in the face with mind control.
Dear Dick,
Please take Mittens hunting. I'll buy the booze. Kthnxbi.
America
And I'll buy the ammo. Hell, I'll spring for transportation costs too…
Can I get the film contract? I predict it'll be the most-watched film in 'Murka.
Um, Mitt, I'm sure you were also aware that Dick was perfectly okay with gay marriage.
The more you know.
As long as Cheney does not expect to bring his daughter to any of Mittens' houses to eat off his plates and use his toilet, Mittens will overlook this, and by overlook, actually pretend he did not know.
The more you know, the less likely you are to win the GOP nomination.
So was Mittens, oncet upon a time.
How DARE you call Richard B. Cheney a psychopath.
He is a sociopath.
Hah-rumph.
Right? And he's not just a dick he's a fucking knob.
The correct terminology is very important here.
You are absolutely right.
this is a man of wisdom and judgment…
Incredibly poor wisdom and judgment, but Mittens is technically correct.
~
Neville Chamberlain had a lot of wisdom and judgment too. So did James Buchanan, Hannibal, and Uwe Boll.
" ….a person of wisdom and judgment.” Colossal tin ear, proof that the Mittster lacks both attributes himself.
In my heart of hearts I can't help wondering if Mittens is doing some really high-level performance art, yaknow?
He, like Ronnie did, prolly sees himself as auditioning for a role.
Okay, this is actually kind of scary. After 8 long fucking disastrous years with Bush/Cheney, a man that could be prez says this. I'm jumping,
Just wondering … did Mitt hire McCain's campaign advisor?
whether you agree or disagree with him, this is a man of wisdom and judgment…
Do these people listen to what they say, ever? Do they not realize words have meanings? If Dick possessed "wisdom and judgement", everyone would agree with him. There would be no dispute. I don't disagree with Cheney because he's a nasty person. I disagree with him because he makes horrifically poor policy decisions. Because his worldview is fucked. And that is entirely due to his lack of wisdom and judgement. Jesus. Whichever one you worship, Mit. Jesus.
I agree with everything you've written here, except that I ALSO disagree with Dick "Dick" Cheney because he's a nasty person and I can't believe that he was allowed to drag this once great nation down so low into the (Halliburton-sponsored) sludge. Fuck's sake.
Upfisties.
Wow — just because Cheney speaks with all the quiet confidence of a Baptist holding four aces that doesn't mean he's ever been right about anything he said during the eight years he was shoving our Constitution into the wood chipper.
On the other hand — remember when the teabaggers get asked why they weren't complaining about reckless government spending and the trampling of our civil rights from 2001-2008? And they answer that either they were mad but just not as mad as they are now, or else that they weren't politically active but they would oppose that now? Well, jackasses, now's your chance — get loud.
God, I almost hope he's on the GOP ticket just so we can watch all those TP fucks can explain voting for him when it was really the Bush years that led to their political awakening and not the black guy in the White House.
Nah. Cause they'd just lie more.
It would be interesting to see what they came up with though. It'll be different this time? Mitt's a strong leader who'll keep Dick reined in? Okay, that second one sounds like a Marcus Bachmann puppet show, but you get the idea.
Ummm, ahem, er, WHITE, doncha know.
Yeah. Ultimately, that's really what it boils down to. The Sheriff is a Near.
Wooks, I would say their talking point on this matter is: "Oh there you go, blame it on Bush/Cheney."
Ah, wookies, always the optimist. I hear nothing but the thunderous snore of the tired hoverounding masses.
Bitch please. Bush/Cheney couldn't even win a primary in Today's Republican™ party, what with the lesbo daughter and the ex-teacher wife. These things are anathema to the Birchtards that are Today's Republican.™
David Duke/ Pat Buchanan have a better chance of winning.
Thumbs way up for "Birchtard."
Doesn't matter if he's right, wrong, or completely evil. This Cheney's a guy with wisdom & judgment. Whatever the fuck that is.
By the time the election rolls around, it will probably just be Dick's head and pig heart floating in a Jar…sneering and shouting. "War! Go fuck yourself! Tax cuts!"
I certainly hope so, since a well-aimed rock could silence him forever.
Gott in Himmel! If Mitt wants to wrap up the evil vote, he should go all out and recuit Vlad Tepes.
Hmm, too liberal.
Vlad might decline anaconda that's a little closer than he wants to be to the forces of darkness as represented by the soulless clone that is Mitt Romney.
MItt is so far behind the curve…he actually thinks Cheney would appeal to the teabuggers when we all know there is only one choice here: Rep. Steve King, who is now busy putting up Obama's uncle in his toolshed awaiting his testimony before the House Ways and Means Committee.
Woodshed, surely.
I think "woodpile" is the word you have in mind.
Let's hope the uncle is a registered Republican, somehow.
That would be too enjoyable, and thus, unlikely.
>
So Mittens is a pandering asshat…what else is new?
Mittens,
There are about 400,000 dead Iraqi's, give or take, that would beg to differ.
But they don't vote.
Plus, rag-headed furrin' browns.
Ah bleev the term you might be searchin' for is "sand-n******."
Over one million, dear. The Lancet/Johns Hopkins study of 06 showed some 655,000 deaths attributable to the war. Bear in mind that this also does not include casualties in Afghanistan, which have been ongoing since we first landed in that unfortunate land.
I hate to think what Rick Perry might do to get back on top of that competition.
To quote the frontrunner in the most recent Presidential, I bleev it's along the lines of "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb-bomb Iran …"
Wisdom and judgment doesn't mean what he(and the rest of the GOP) thinks it means. Then again, I'm pretty sure neither does morality, truth, justice………..Hey, wait a minute. Do you think they are using some kind of opposite, evil dimension dictionary?
Dick Mitt 2012
"The Gash" could be the campaign theme.
We're talking about Dick Cheney right?
“Wisdom and Judgment” Well Mr. Romney ascribing those qualities to Dick Cheney says all any one needs to know about your wisdom and judgment.
God damn I hope Mittens wins the Republican nomination just so we can hear him walk that, along with his current opposition to Romneycare, back. In the debates all Obambi would have to do is keep staring at Mitts and saying "go on…".
It's like inviting Jeff Dahmer to a cannibal dinner party – makes perfect sense.
Potluck.
!
That's the name of some Thai or Vietnamese dude, right?
It was spelled differently, though.
Dick Cheney has had affairs in various countries in the world? Are we still paying for him to travel with that AirStream trailer and a staff of doctors so his PriusHeart can keep humming?
Way to double down on Dick, dick.
The Republican party is like pornstars.
The bigger dick you are, the more popular you are….
NEEDZ MOAR WARRANTLESS WIRETAPPING!!!!
"Presidents don't matter."
-Dick Cheney
P.S. Go fuck yourself
I'm sorry, is the corpse of Hitler not available?
I hear Genghis Kahn and Nero are free.
Well, they might cost a few pence, but they're certainly not as odoriferous.
It hasn't been fitted with one of those Borg hearts, is the problem.
Let's bring back bubonic plague while we're at it!
well, we know vaccines cause "retardation" -Crazy eyes believes it- so can the plague be far behind? I guess small pox is gone but plenty of other things can kill.
So plague, plus a vaccine that the Teabaggers will refuse … hmmm.
Let's not write this off just yet.
Biely, I am overcome with admiration for your — dare I say it? — fiendish plot.
The word you're looking for is "diabolical."
Romney/Cheney: Isn't four years without true evil long enough?
That's definitely a *truthful* slogan, although I doubt their PR folks will let them use it.
Dick Cheney, Lao Tzu – what's the difference?
they've both been dead for a couple thousand years so that's not it.
We could start with the fact that Laozi was a great philosopher who was notoriously anti-authoritarian, while Dick Cheney is a heartless monster of a chickenhawk who believes that only the rich and powerful deserve consideration.
I mean, I could go on, but I'd need a few years to complete this.
Edited to Pinyinize.
Whenever I read anything about the American people's positive reaction to any Republican politician – especially Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and George Bush – I think, I have lived my whole life in this country, but it is as if I do not know it at all.
So, to all those who hold Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and George Bush in high regard, I send you a hearty, FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
Think about how us Americans feel when the fucking fucks refer to others as REAL Americans!
Romney's remarks have raised speculation that he's angling for an endorsement from Cheney…
The benefit of an endorsement from Cheney – a controversial figure dogged by sagging poll numbers – is up in the air. Even he admits that.
"Not all the candidates are necessarily interested in my endorsement, probably,"
Can't decide which is worse: the idea that Mittens might actually want a VP like Cheney, or the idea that Mittens thinks an endorsement from Cheney would be a *good* thing…
Maybe he's given up on Joe Arpaio, and this is the next best thing. It's not easy to lock up the fascist vote these days.
Here's some wisdom and judgment for ya:
Muhammad Atta met with the Iraqi intelligence chief in Prague.
We know for a fact that Saddam is trying to acquire fissile nuclear material.
Saddam attempted to buy 200 tons of yellowcake uranium from Niger.
Saddam is amassing chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction.
Saddam is hiding all those chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction.
Saddam probably moved all those chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction to Syria.
Iraq gave al-Qaida training in the use of WMDs and dirty bombs.
Al-Qaida was active in Iraq well before the US invasion.
What's going on in Iraq is not an insurgency.
The insurgency is in its last throes.
We don't need more troops or a change in strategy in Iraq.
Deficits don't matter.
And the man has no regrets whatsoever about his two terms as VP. There's plenty more too, but that small sampling ought to be enough.
You could add "fuck yourself", and his sensitive comments about the devastation from Hurricane Katrina.
And "I apologize if your face got in my way when I was trying to shoot a duck after having a few drinks."
Now that's a damned, scurrilous lie!
Everyone knows it's the guy who got shot that apologized for putting his face in the Dick of Death's line of fire.
This no regrets/doubling down pose is very big with these people.
And it's pretty effective for them, in the absence of follow-up questions.
"The undead are people, my friend!"
Well, Juan McCain thought dead people could vote…
Last-Minute Campaign Stop: A Funeral Home http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-502443_162-3714421-50...
They do in Chicago … but that's not how you go about it.
these assholes have much in common.
one is near death.
the others political life is near death
Is this the price for having Rove (character) assassinate Perry?
Rove has to be *paid* to do that? I thought it was his hobby.
Thank you, mankind's last hope, "Meth" Romney.
Mitt Romney is a tool. But not as big a tool as his desired second-in-command.
this is a man of wisdom and judgment
Weird. When I get drunk and shoot my friends in the face I'm accused of NOT exercising wisdom and judgement.
You need to get some fucking crazier friends, my friend..
Well, you girls are notoriously unwise and nonjudgmental. No, wait, that's not right.
This is very, very bad news for Dick Cheney’s lawyer…
Great idea – it would be fun to watch VP Cheney go off to attend a state funeral in Europe and then get arrested for his war crimes when he steps off the plane.
This is very, very bad news for Dick Cheney's lawyer….
Can we blame Mitt's campaign co-chair for this embarrassing zigzag of momen-tim?
Seriously: watching these incompetents trying to huddle under the same umbrella and sugar-coat eachothers' flaws while pelting our President with illogical fallacies makes me wonder if a shortage of handlers has outrun the negligence for fact-checking. Keeping one would preclude the need for the other, but one ought not forsake both.
I'm assuming that Perry will counter by naming his horse vice president?
Of course
Having the undead as leaders is probably what this nation will look like after global warming and a few more nuclear incidents, so why not start now?
Beware when Cheney offers you a bag of pretzels, Mittens. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The teabaggers love the Golden Oldies is all. They ran Dole who was too old to get it up or even stand up unassisted towards the end of his campaign and they ran McCain who was supposed to get a special Lifetime Award for Maver-ickiness who ran a simple minded whore as his VP and now Mitt is teasing his detractors in the Teabagger Party with Old 12% Dick as bait.
All they will be saying is "Good Times!" After all these are people who don't know what Medicare is and the people who think they would rather die than ever take it.
you know, mittens, robert mugabe might be available soon. he looks presidential too.
According to a new law in Mississippi, this "man of wisdom and judgment" isn't a person, because he doesn't have a pulse.
Oh God, what in the name of fuck is going on in this country, a brilliant man was elected just a couple of years ago and has been maligned, smeared , demonized and all the talk is what a crappy President he is, maybe if the fucking Republicans cared less about their fucking re-elections and more about the country then Hopey could live up to expectations. Fuck them all. I am sick and fucking tired of this ridiculous country.
Wow….you go girl!
But he's a brilliant NEGRO man, Lizzie.
I have to admit, I expected some demonization, but never like this!
(At least you have somewhere cool to go!)
Neither did I. It's been unrelenting and blackhearted, and I too long to be somewhere else. I'm thinking Bali or Thailand, or something, because I'm not sure how much longer I can take this shit without going stark, staring mad. I swore I would never leave my beautiful, beloved home, that I've lived in for over 20 years now, but I cannot take much more.
Early on, my husband and daughter were insisting that the criticism wasn't necessarily racist, but the mean-spirited TONE of it really bothered me.
"YOU LIE!" Really??!!
I've spent a lot of my life overseas, and I cringe when I think of what the world must think of us.
*sigh*
Trust me when I say that much of the world is perplexed that we should treat President Obama — who is light-years above the universally detested Bush — so badly, when we drooled and slavered over the drunken coke-addict manchild with the reverse Midas touch.
Lizzie the problem is not with the country or its people. The problem is that the country is just too damn big I say we split off New York and Vermont and declare it sparkly happy America.
Oh that would make me so happy, I love Vermont, I was in a show there a few years ago and spent about 6 weeks there in the Autumn, it was just gorgeous and they have those cool co-ops with the excellent locally sourced food.
How dare you steal my darling Lizzie from me!! Come back, Lizzie! We'll have our golden California sunsets, my dear, and giant heirloom tomatoes from hell!
You'll miss the wildfires and earthquakes, my girl. You will, you know.
It's turned into team sports. Cubs vs White Sox, Bengals vs Browns. I certainly understand being tired of it all! I try to laugh, but there are limits….
Me too, my darling. Let's run away together.
Over Cheney's dead(ish) body!
Ok……I'm confused. Did Dicky boy start the wars to torture people, or did he torture people to start the wars?
Ahh crap. It's still too early in the day to stop drinking.
Romney/Random War Criminal 2012!
Romney made the declaration at a town hall meeting in Arizona when asked if he’d consider having a Tea Partier on his ticket.
That’s the kind of person I’d like to have – a person of wisdom and judgment.
Well that eliminates having a Teabagger on his ticket. None of them fit that description.
Shit, it eliminates the entire fucking Republican party.
Does Romneycare cover napalm burns?
…or Stockholm Syndrome?
Mitt's new persona: one of Manson's girls….this would be great – we could lay death wish bets on how long Mittens would last…
Makes perfect sense. After all, Mittens has to find some way to close the "murder gap" between him and Rick Perry, in order to win the nomination, and naming Dick Cheney as a running mate would go a ways to doing that.
Oh Mittens. You're allowed to just drop out, you know. You don't have to work so hard to lose the nom.
He's gonna lose it, isn't he?
It looks like it, right? The media at least seems to have decided that it's Perry vs Mittens, and Mittens's attempts to lock in the batshit vote are just so transparent, even for teatards.
Yeah, I think you're right. Let's hope Barack beats Perry flatter than a sheet of tinfoil.
Yup — they can spot fake crazy a mile away … and they want the real thing in the White House.
….A person of wisdom and judgment. Clearly, Little Mittens should be drinking.
A man of wisdom and judgement? More like a man of wealth and taste, one who's been around for long, long years, stole many a man's soul and faith, etc., etc.
Hey – I resemble that remark.
You do, indeed.
In other news, a recent report finds that water is, indeed, still wet.
Death/Famine 2012! My only regret is that we can't nominate all Four Horsemen for the same election season.
Christ. Even Mittens appears to have fallen prey to the brain-eating fungoid parasite that has spread from Amazonian ants to teabaggers. It's the beginning of the end, I fear.
I will NEVER forget that comment. NEVER. That miserable shitstick.
Willard Willard Willard
. Neocons for Neocons .
True. I accept the correction of the Master of the Diabolical.
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