• February 22, 2012

off the top of my head i can think of over four

Faced with attacks from the left, right, leftish, righter and center forward, Mitt Romney has spent his days in South Carolina focusing on trying to make people forget about Bain by talking about it constantly. After Sarah Palin and the rest of the world called out Romney, or at least called on him to get more specific about the alleged 100,000 jobs his work at Bain created, Romney decided to say Thursday that there was “proof” of those jobs on the websites of the companies that he didn’t bankrupt. But for the most part, the “100,000″ is being dropped from the playbook. In fact, in a matter of six days, it looks like the Romney camp has gone from saying “over a hundred thousand jobs” to “tens of thousands of jobs” to rolls-off-the-tongue “thousands of jobs.” Happy Friday to you.

This video illustrates what Talking Points Memo calls the mid-January and hopefully continual “devolution” of Mitt Romney. It shows the candidate making the 100k claim during a New Hampshire debate (which, to be fair, he did also stick to in an appearance one day ago), but then slowly and sneakily changing campaign statements to reflect his complete lack of knowledge of the actual number.

It’s the “I caught a big fish” joke come to life, as this guy points out. The positive integer now stands at a healthy but still suspect “thousands.” Today, expect that number to morph into “greater than 108 but less than 110,” and by early next week, “baker’s dozen.” [TPM]

{ 229 comments }

nounverb911 January 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

The only jobs Bain created were for their partners maids and nannies.

paris biltong January 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

They let a little bit trickle down and the domestics are there to pick it up. Just like my son with his clothes, except that his mother and me do the picking up.

NYNYNYjr January 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

and don't forget the blowjobs. There must have been hundreds, if not hundreds of thousands created.

natoslug January 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Damn you! I started working on a comment about that 30 minutes ago, then got sucked into work. Well this sucks. Or blows.

Dashboard_Jesus January 14, 2012 at 2:43 am

fucking work! too bad it's something all of us have to do EXCEPT Willard

natoslug January 14, 2012 at 11:37 am

I just wish I could find a few good hard ass-workers to help me through these dark times.

Jukesgrrl January 13, 2012 at 11:14 pm

And don't forget the guys who deliver the crates of champagne Mitt doesn't drink. Maybe they even get tips.

spends2much January 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm

And frankly, they are perfectly fine with that. THESE are the jobs the Job Creators are talking about. Anyone who thinks they mean factory jobs that pay 60k is dumber than Rick Perry.

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Nobody is dumber than Rick Perry. I hope.

KenLayIsAlive January 13, 2012 at 10:52 pm

I know for a fact there are three people dumber than Perry. Dan Quayle, George W. Bush, and… wait, Dan Quayle… George W. Bush… and, okay I can't remember the other one. Oops.

KenLayIsAlive January 13, 2012 at 10:50 pm

And domestic servants are forbidden to unionize to boot! The best of all worlds.

Veritas78 January 13, 2012 at 6:45 pm

And veterinarians. Mitt's horses get far better health care than you do — as well they should! Because horses are people, too, my friends.

MittBorg January 14, 2012 at 2:39 am

Each of those horses costs the Romneys $100K p.a. in food, accommodation, exercise, training, servants, and health care. And they own a stable full of those beasts. Their HORSES have something 99% of Americans don't – health care, and servants.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Yeah, well … they care about the horses.

MittBorg January 16, 2012 at 1:04 am

Too true. Painful, but true.

Come here a minute January 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Due to the enormous wealth amassed at Bain, Romney now employs a household staff of "several".

freakishlywrong January 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

In his several houses.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Let's not forget that he also employed over 100,000 illegal aliens to tend his gardens.

HistoriCat January 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

But that's when he wasn't running for office, for Pete's sake.

Donner, Party of 1 January 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Doesn't matter either way. Romney needs to create hundreds of thousands more jobs EVERY MONTH to bring down the unemployment rate.

SilverTsunami January 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Unfair! Unfair! The business-crushing techniques Bain used in order to strip assets from companies required the local unemployment offices to add staff in order to process all the applications. Oh, oops… those would be government jobs, though,and hence not real. Sorry.

MzNicky January 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

It's become the Bain of his existence.

GregComlish January 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I'm surprised nobody had already picked this low-hanging fruit. Congrats!

NYNYNYjr January 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

You went there!!

MzNicky January 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Somebody had to.

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

But he sure enjoyed it while he was still the King of Bain.

poncho_pilot January 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

it's always Bain and Blame with you, isn't it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FNfB6WfwM4&ob...

horsedreamer_1 January 13, 2012 at 7:45 pm

History's greatest Monster.

poncho_pilot January 13, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Michael Stipe?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:35 pm

So easy to play the Bain Game, eh?

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm

But what matters is the net numbers of jobs created; once the number of jobs Bain destroyed is taken account Mitt's real job creation level is probably in the negative thousands.

MittBorg January 14, 2012 at 2:40 am

Probably? Decidedly!

Tundra Grifter January 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

It was a typo.

Bane didn't "create" 100,000 jobs. The correct figure was 100.000.

Meanwhile, has anyone else noticed the right wing nutz like Sheer InSannity always say the Federal government can't accomplish anything, but St. Ronnie Reagaon created millions of jobs.

Whiskey Tango Foxtwat?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

All the jerbs that Raygun created were with military contractors. On planet GOP, those count as real jobs.

KenLayIsAlive January 13, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Real jobs that produce absolutely useless items that the government supports by spending billions of dollars on said worthless items. As opposed to real jobs that might produce something like schools or food or something. Sigh.

Gainsbourg69 January 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I'd like to see an add by the DNC that juxtaposes Hannity saying how government can't create jobs and Mitten's victory speech in New Hampshire, where he promised that he'd create more jobs than Obama. Then big letters at the end that say: The GOP, confused about government and about Jobs. Followed by Obama holding a bald eagle with an American flag in the background.

natoslug January 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

If they promised to run that ad, I'd be willing to make a significant donation the next time they call me, begging for money again.

GOPCrusher January 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm

I want to see an ad of John Boehner saying we need to extend the Bush Tax Cuts for the jerb creators, followed up with Perry, Gingrich, and Bible Spice railing against vulture capitalists.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 14, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Seems to me that "vulture vs. eagle" ought to play well.

Jukesgrrl January 13, 2012 at 11:22 pm

The reverse the trick and use commas for periods when they're adding up the profits they use to figure their bonuses.

Tundra Grifter January 14, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Jukes:

There is certainly a difference between venture capital and vulture capital.

When Bane managed to eliminate company pension funds yet magically create huge fees for themselves, that's vulture capitalism.

littlebigdaddy January 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Hey, we know for a fact he employed a couple of illegal Messicans!

hagajim January 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Six more days and we'll find out that his thousands of jobs are negative.

widestanceshakedown January 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Six more and he'll claim, "Bain is a powerful drug."

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Do not operate machinery while using Bain. Serious side effects have been reported, including insomnia, redness, death and death and death.

widestanceshakedown January 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

If employment lasts more than four hours, flip company before payday.

hagajim January 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The reign of Bain falls mainly on Mitt's hair helmet.

Jukesgrrl January 13, 2012 at 11:20 pm

By jove, I think you've got it!

Maman January 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Science might be disputable, but math is solid.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

But math is hard!

ibwilliamsi January 15, 2012 at 12:45 pm

They'll start teaching "Math Theory" to the second graders next year. Math will be absolutely fluid by 2016.

memzilla January 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I believe he will eventually have to say "I helped cremate 100,000 jobs."

snackypants January 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Mostly for blah people.

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:35 pm

And the very, very urbans, also too.

BarackMyWorld January 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Here….let me preview the next 12 months for everyone:
-Conservative establishment shuts up about how terrible Romney is.
-Romney continues winning primaries with pluralities.
-Romney gets nomination and picks rightwing nutjob as VP.
-Unemployment drops to below where it was when Obama took office.
-Everyone hates Romney in polls.
-Conservative voters mostly stay home on election day, everyone else turns out.
-Obama wins landslide.
-Conservatives bitch about how Romney wasn't conservative enough to win.
-Obama gives kick-ass second inaugural.

Wake me up when it's over.

Goonemeritus January 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Thanks for that your synopsis has comforted me enough to stop panic drinking (well at least until I leave work).

freakishlywrong January 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Or
-Republicans cheat, whatever ratfucker is left standing after this hideous primary wins. Wonkateers move en' masse anywhere but here.

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

*updates passport*

*books one-way plane ticket to Costa Rica*

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

and if you drink all the liquor in Costa Rica, ain't nobody's business but your own.

bikerlaureate January 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Needs moar Democrat election fraud.

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

ACORN LIBEL!

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

i could have sex with that preview.

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Limeylizzie is a bad influence.

MittBorg January 14, 2012 at 3:40 am

Depends on yer definition of "bad."

Dudleydidwrong January 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

It's called glory hole politics.

NYNYNYjr January 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

They already tried a woman, all of the other campaigners seem to hate him, I think he's going to take Marco Rubio. And flame out. Or Chris Christie…but that would a pretty fucking dirty north east coast ticket.

Gainsbourg69 January 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Rubio is not going to be made the sacrificial lamb for Mitt Romney. Rove will not let him. Rubio is going to run in 2016 in order to avoid a shellacking in his next senate race. Trust me, Rubio wouldn't even get the Hispanic vote in his own state as things stand right now. Plus, upon closer scrutiny, Rubio has more skeletons in his closet than any Republican currently running.

Fare la Volpe January 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Rubio's got something in his closet, and it's shaped like Marco Rubio.

horsedreamer_1 January 13, 2012 at 7:50 pm

The New Yorker too fair to FOX by half profile of Marco's tiff with Univision was a hoot. & he already has his Billy Carter/Neil Bush/Roger Clinton in the person of his brother-in-law.

Meanwhile, Barack's half Asian half-sister is, unsurprisingly, totally normal.

NYNYNYjr January 13, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Floridians don't like him? Hm. Then screw it, go with Jan Brewer. Just no HD cameras.

BarackMyWorld January 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Top five:
Nikki Haley
Sam Brownback
John Kasich
Marco Rubio
Rick Santorum

GOPCrusher January 13, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Scott Walker. He'll probably need the work by then.

MilwaukeeKent January 13, 2012 at 6:40 pm

But can he serve from prison?
He should toss the recall contest and take that cushy lobbyist/consulting gig, ASAP.

Isyaignert January 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Not probably; the campaign to recall Snott Walker has THREE TIMES the signatures they needed. He's toast.

deanbooth January 13, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I'm reminded of Jon Lovitz as Dukakis in a debate with Bush 1 on SNL: "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy."

I hope what you say is true, but at this point we can't even imagine how horrible the campaign against Obama will be.

BarackMyWorld January 14, 2012 at 5:31 pm

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4117/saturday-night-liv...
I couldn't find the entire skit…
Which. Was. Brilliant.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Please, please, please … somebody go do the math, do the counting, and prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mittens and Bain produced a negative number of jobs for American workers.

Barb January 13, 2012 at 2:04 pm

He's created a few jobs in the Cayman Islands, where people have to count all that money he's stashing. He needs to release those tax records.

freakishlywrong January 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Oh, he will Barb, as soon as Barry releases his birf certificate. And his grades, cuz, y'know, BLAH.

ibwilliamsi January 15, 2012 at 12:49 pm

I think that a big reason Mitt isn't releasing the tax returns is that he is concerned that the LDS will figure out that he hasn't been tithing properly. It's fairly easy to find loopholes in the tax code compared to finding loopholes in the tithe.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:33 pm

The original flat tax.

johnnyzhivago January 13, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Romney should pull an Al Gore exageration and say he invented sports shoes or office supplies. Or Angry Birds.

Talking jobs and numbers is just going to get everyone confused.

MyOwnPlanet January 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

With all of the different information sources available using "the google" you are still spouting this nonsense. Al Gore DID NOT say that he invented the internet, a lie that has been debunked a kazillion times.

widestanceshakedown January 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Why is Mittens letting liberal math bias oppress his free speech?

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Science, facts … and now math? Clearly there's a vast consipiracy against the GOP.

MildMidwesterner January 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I miss the old days of Wonkette when Republican candidates and the word "jobs" were only used in conjunction with the word "blow."

johnnyzhivago January 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm

He can certainly claim to have created at LEAST one high paying job (for himself).

Jukesgrrl January 13, 2012 at 11:23 pm

He must also have created jobs for his five sons since they're clearly too busy to fight in Republican wars.

Flat_Earther January 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Truthfully, he added one new Mexican gardener.

SheriffRoscoe January 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Are you gonna believe me, or your lyin' eyes?!

Callyson January 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Mittens wants to compare his job creation record to Obama's? OK–since Romney is including jobs that were created long after he left Bain, Obama gets to take credit for jobs that get created five years from now. FTW!

kissawookiee January 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

For fuck's sake, keep this guy away from the loaves and fishes or we'll all starve.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Not to worry. Once he's done outsourcing to Chinese bakeries and industrial fish farms (and gotten rid of job-killing regulations on lead and mercury levels), we'll have lots and lots of cheap bread and fish.

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:37 pm

win

ProgressiveInga January 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

You have to slash jerbs in order to create jerbs, you idiots.

CapnFatback January 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"There are exactly 57 card-carrying jobs that Bain Capital has created at this time!"

Steverino247 January 13, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Gah! Where was I an hour ago?

"There are exactly 57 jobs in the Defense Department at this time."

VaWyo January 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

American Eagle just hired Bain to "help" with their bankruptcy reorganization. Bain will get over $500,000 per month. Outrageous.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

If you need help going bankrupt, that's a pretty good way to go about it.

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

My best bud has almost 30 years with AA. I feel for him. Sucks to work all your life for a company and the rug just flys out from under ya.

Come here a minute January 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

But at least he's sober! (or is that the wrong AA?)

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Well, after 6 pm, we are not that sober, but…American Airlines.

mayor_quimby January 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

That sucks, dude. I had no idea they were that old. Did he work for them when they made good clothes? Their stuff now seems to be gap-light stuff made in Indonesia.
Like how Aeropostale was kinda classy when you were in high school, but now makes you gag on sight.

elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Dude, Aeropostale? Hot Topic or GTFO.

horsedreamer_1 January 13, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Forever 21, brah.

Radiotherapy January 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

What do you expect from a guy whose father was blah?

chascates January 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

He actually transformed 100,000 middle-class jobs into a few thousand service industry jobs.

bikerlaureate January 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

THIS. Props.

As if a full-time gig at Subway equated to a journeyman-level manufacturing job…

Sheesh.

Goonemeritus January 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Now that he has backtracked on this how long will it be before he starts taking about his biological father?

Groupshrug January 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Each individual blowjob and handjob given to Bain executives by a hooker counts as a job created.

mayor_quimby January 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Sploosh!

MittBorg January 14, 2012 at 3:44 am

Splooge.

johnnymeatworth January 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

So he's Senator Iselin from The Manchurian Candidate, good to know.

weejee January 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Endorsement from Agent Orange Mr. Speaker Boner, the Munchkin Candidate, in 3, 2, 1…

MosesInvests January 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Y'mean Oompah-Loompah Candidate, no?

weejee January 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Si

Come here a minute January 13, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I have here in my hand the names of thousands, uh…hundreds, ummm….dozens of card carrying members of the Bain Capital fan club.

MittBorg January 14, 2012 at 3:45 am

Four.

There's four left.

Designer_Rants January 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

So next week it will be "tens of jobs"?
Then eventually "negative GaBaTrazillions of jobs"?
Maybe we'll get to hear him say "Creative Destruction" again. That makes everything bad seem good, because, 'Creative'!

Biel_ze_Bubba January 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

"There's my maid, my gardener, and … umm … nope. Sorry."

coolhandnuke January 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

You know I’m saying this satirically, but I truly do believe that Mitt Romney and his railroad working father have caught thousands of trout in the Great Salt Lake.

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

OT but great bar bet. Bet someone you can do between 2 and 300 situps in less than three minutes. When your sucker drinking buddy takes you up on it, get on the floor (make a show of it) and do 3 situps.

Collect your money.

Oblios_Cap January 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

That certainly is between 2 and 300 situps! Well played.

weejee January 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

If a hen and a half, lay an egg and a half, in a day and a half, how may eggs does it take to make a 6-egg omelet?

Dashboard Buddha January 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

All of them, Katie.

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

100,000.

GOPCrusher January 13, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Did anyone beat those eggs?

weejee January 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Of course not. Risk the wrath of PETA?

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Hey, that is great. Could work for Romney. I created between 2 and 100,000 jobs. Okay, maybe I didn't think this through.

OneYieldRegular January 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

"1, 2, 3…infinity!"

prommie January 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

George Gamow?

OneYieldRegular January 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

…and the Hottentots.

SheriffRoscoe January 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Mitt suffers from a false, self-inflated sense of his own endowment. America is the cruel evil bitch pointing and laughing at it.

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

It can't be too surprising to realize that "I created 100,000 jobs" and "I enjoy firing people" are incompatible, really.

Chichikovovich January 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Unless Romney enjoyed firing people so much that he had to keep creating more jobs just to fire the people doing them.

Like Lenny Bruce's Mr Masked Man needing to create trouble because he'd made everyone so happy that the addictive "Thank You!"s disappeared. Romney kept finding himself with the exact inverse problem: what do you do when you run out of people who will say to you "What? But I've worked here all my life. I'm 60, what will I do?" to you, and you start to miss it.

Fare la Volpe January 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Something tells me Romney has a single street-wise butler that he angrily "fires" whenever said butler does something extra whacky. By the next morning he's back on the staff and no one mentions a thing. Zany!

snackypants January 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

My eyes read your comment too quickly and I got "I enjoy fisting people" instead of firing. I guess they're not that much different.

prommie January 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Dissonance.

Troglodeity January 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Actually, that lie wasn't nearly as outrageous as his claim that his dog supposedly "loved" going into the crate Mitt strapped on top of his station wagon for the dog to ride in on a 12-hour drive from Massachusetts to Canada. Any dog lover would know that it is physically impossible for a dog to climb on top of a station wagon and go into a dog kennel on its own volition.

Keep in mind this is the same dog that was so terrified on the journey that it pooped diarrhea all over the station wagon while Mitt was driving. Mitt's response: pull into a gas station and hose off the wagon, the crate and the dog – with the dog still in the crate – and then keep on driving. What a fucking jerk.

Saying his dog "loved" that experience shows that Mitt is a habitual liar. He should have said "I was desperate, I didn't have any room, and it was a stupid idea that I regret." But no: "the dog loved it." Fucker.

PsycWench January 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Well, see, the meaning of "loved" is subject to interpretation, just like the meaning of "100,000".

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Morally weak!

KenLayIsAlive January 13, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Is that the same as "total fucking asshole"?

mayor_quimby January 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I hope the ghost of his long dead dog haunts all of his fucking mansions and hotels. Sort of paranormal activity style, but not so gentle. I'd pay twenty bucks to see that movie.

Radiotherapy January 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

He also could have said: "I'm more of a cat person."

Barb January 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

He said that the create was "airtight" Mitt, the dog would have suffocated if this were true.

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:42 pm

And if it wasn't, the poor thing could have frozen cause it was wet.

Chichikovovich January 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Well, at least he didn't brag about the job he created for a veterinary psychologist.

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Well, I would have put all the Kids in the air-tight box on the roof. But that's just me.

Gainsbourg69 January 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm

"He should have said "I was desperate, I didn't have any room, and it was a stupid idea that I regret." But no: "the dog loved it." Fucker."

He could've squashed it by saying that, but instead it's going haunt him like that wild scream on stage haunted Howard Dean.

Fare la Volpe January 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

These are the same assholes who claim to "love" their children when they whip their bodies black with a belt buckle.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I hear the laid-off workers at American Pad loved having all that free time handed to them.

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Like father, like son: Next TV interview, he'll claim to have been "Bain-washed" by the song and dance from his partners, and announce that he will now be providing complimentary "Hot Hands" handwarmer packets to all #OWS protestors.

gurukalehuru January 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Bainwashed. Damn, you must be as old as I am.

Monsieur_Grumpe January 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

"Math is hard!" *

* Some recalled Talking Barbie Doll

Chichikovovich January 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I always felt they should have kept that saying on the talking Barbie Doll's tape. Just so long as they made sure the next time the girl pulled the string, Barbie said. "I mean, really hard.I spent almost all Saturday afternoon finishing that problem on the Galois group for cyclotomic fields. I nearly couldn't find the trick you need to factor the 7th degree irreducible polynomial over Q. Oh – and when you do that one remember you need a bit of finesse to find the Galois group. It's not just technique in this case. The inverse of one of the roots is in its extension field, so the splitting field is just order five. And don't even mention the Nonlinear Partial Differential Equations problemset. What a killer!"

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Awesome. Is any of that stuff real? I quit after calculus.

Chichikovovich January 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Yep. 100% made-up but could-have-been-real dialogue using 100% real terminology talking about 100% real things. (Or at least: as real as mathematical objects ever are.)(Though actually as far as problems that require determining Galois groups goes, the Galois groups for cyclotomic extensions are generally pretty straightforward, compared to other types of extension. I just thought “cyclotomic” sounded cool there. )—

Crank_Tango January 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

10 grand says he meant to say "decimated" instead of "created"–just a software bug, could happen to any rob…er, human person.

DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Well, far be it for me to point out that Romney is Mexican, so I think he will bargain down even lower, say one peso for every person thrown on the Bain Vulture Capital garbage pile…

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

But have you all taken into consideration the hundreds of thousands of slave labor jobs for Chinese prisoners that Bain created, so they could afford the bullets for their own executions?

Bain would do the same in America, but the damn Unions get in the way!

prommie January 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Hey, get your terminology right, they are not "prisoners," they are "organ donors."

DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

They signed a thing saying it was voluntary!

KenLayIsAlive January 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Just like all those poor plasticized souls in the "BODIES" exhibit.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Those are plasticized bodies. Mitt's the guy with the plasticized soul.

johnnyzhivago January 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

The only thing worse for Romney would be if it turned out he was part Belgian.

gurukalehuru January 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

mmmm, waffles

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Or that his parents bought him (and his twin brother) at a seaside sandal shop in Aruba.

Steverino247 January 13, 2012 at 3:52 pm
elviouslyqueer January 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Today, expect that number to morph into “greater than 108 but less than 110,” and by early next week, “baker’s dozen.”

Pfft. Eventually his talking point will be, "I created one job. My own."

Chet Kincaid January 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

But he's unemployed! And running for President is just an "interview."

mayor_quimby January 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

That's the oly mothafuckin job that matters in the end, in repub-land.

flamingpdog January 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm
DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

SHRINKAGE!!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Hey, as long as Mitt and his people at Bain made millions no matter what happened to the company, does anyone really care about middle class people feeding their families?

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I'm just not sure how I feel now that Sarah Palin has joined OWS.

Maybe she is just doing it because she saw some nice young basket ball players she wanted to get close to?

widestanceshakedown January 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Poor Tawd, she really can't go back now.

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Maybe Bristol has a black father like Mittens?

Gleem_McShineys January 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Is Romney being judged by the standards of a robot doing a passable job at pretending to be human, or judged by the standards of a human doing a terrible job at acting like a normal person?

We should be a little less hard on the robot, who really is doing a pretty good job at almost appearing human, everybody.

BornInATrailer January 13, 2012 at 2:56 pm

What we really need is a Bland Runner to track this replicant down, give him the Voight-Kampff test and be done with it.

snackypants January 13, 2012 at 2:57 pm

My Roomba does a better job at appearing human.

MosesInvests January 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

If Mittens is a robot, can we at least program him with the Three Laws?
I. A robot must not harm a human, or, through inaction, allow a human to come to harm.
II. A robot must follow instructions, except where that would conflict with the First Law.
III. A robot must protect its own existence, except where that would conflict with the First or Second Laws.

Gleem_McShineys January 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Yes!! What could possibly go wrong!?

I think you should add a fourth law that somehow keeps Sharia Law from ever being used in the first three. I, RIGHTBOT

Ducksworthy January 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Will the venomous, obese, imbeciles care? Thousands is still more than they can count to, even with their shoes off.

MozakiBlocks January 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Wait a second, Sarah Palin called Mitt out on something and actually made sense? I'm scared, someone hold me.

Extemporanus January 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"

Gleem_McShineys January 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Like a frightened turtle.

DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

That would be the WHITES ONLY pool?

Sticking up for the Whites Rights To Be Racist Assholes…

Guppy January 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Romney/Bain 2012!

C_R_Eature January 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

"At Bain Capital, we created over a hundred thousand uh, tens of thousands , uhh… thousands , uh, well, numerous , oh, okay, several … "

"*Look!* Over there! Scary Iranians!!"

SheriffRoscoe January 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

So apparently four convicted murderers pardoned by Haley Barbour have gone missing…..

Romney / Barbour 2012 !!!

IncenseDebate January 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

He should just brag about the size of his wang like a normal guy.

Dudleydidwrong January 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"I'm THE MAN for the job. I've got 100,000 balls!"
"Well, I've got thousands of balls!"
"I've got hundreds of balls!"
"I've got a dozen balls!"
"I've got more than two balls!"
"I've got two balls!"
"I've got one good ball…the other one's shriveled up…"

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm

My dick is 15 inches long!
12 inches long!
9 inches long!
6 inches..
3 inches…
1 inch…
it's charity work touching it, ok?

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 2:47 pm

is newt picking his nose at .17?

widestanceshakedown January 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Janis Ian Libel!

[Oh, there's a decimal. Now I understand. Nevermind]

mavenmaven January 13, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Hundreds of thousands of jobs in Malaysia, China, India…

Sue4466 January 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

You'd think with all his money and CEO skilz he'd be better at counting.

BigDumbRedDog January 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Robber barons are people too, you know.

prommie January 13, 2012 at 3:02 pm

If he had even an emoticon of shame, he would not lie to us this way.

cheaphits January 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Just goes to show that Willard is ready to piss on anybody to be prez.

fuflans January 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

while i'm certainly not sorry mitt is having this …um dialogue… right now, i think the under discussed issue here is the idea of 'business people being in government.'

our most recent example is george w. bush for fuck's sake.

yet no one questions the received wisdom that a businessman in the white house would be the end to all our problems.

whatever you think of romney (me? not much) his qualifications for the office are his time as governor of MA, not running bain.

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Yeah, but MA is a haven for gay married socialist liberal elitist terrorists, so it doesn't count. I remember when they used "senator from Massachusetts" as a put down for Kerry.

Jukesgrrl January 13, 2012 at 11:29 pm

And I remember when Kerry got no end of shit from Republicans for being "so-o-o-o rich," even though it was mostly money his wife inherited from a Republican. More "I was against it until I was for it" from the conservatards.

Lionel[redacted]Esq January 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

In the end, you would think that the Mittbot's CPU could do simple calculations like this. They must have outsourced its production.

MissTaken January 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Mitt just needs to put up a billboard in a shuttered factory parking lot that say "Governor Mitt Romney – Creating Jobs For Wisconson" and this whole mess will be cleared up immediately.

DahBoner January 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Well, when you're engaged in a drug-fueled week long orgy with Grover Norquest and Corporate Tax Rates, who can remember the details of how many jobs you've destroyed?

Nopantsmcgee January 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

You people should be ashamed. These topics should only be discussed in a quiet room, not a loud comment section. You're upsetting my butler.

natoslug January 13, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Quit picking on him! Whether you've given 10 or 100 'jobs, it has to feel like 100,000 when your jaw starts locking up and you can no longer feel your tongue.

starfanglednut January 13, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Leave romneybot 2000 alooone!

SockBunny January 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

May I just go on record as saying that Staples introduced low-quality office supplies as "all you can get, America", just like Home Depot did for hardware. Burned by the suck!

Jukesgrrl January 13, 2012 at 11:39 pm

The first (and only) time Bruce Springsteen played at the Staples Center in LA he said, "I'm so honored to be playing here in a building named for the great Pa Staples." He hated it and went back to the Memorial Sports Arena after that.

SockBunny January 14, 2012 at 3:09 am

I live in LA; can't say I'm 'proud' of the Staples Center. Used to see Bruce play at the Cellar Door in DC when I was at Georgetown, years later here @ the SA when I was at UCLA. Cheers!

donner_froh January 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

One thing that is admirable about Romney: the transparency with which he panders to the teabaggers and wingnuts.

MissTaken January 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Speaking of entitled douchebags, if John Edwards dies, will Dave Matthews play the funeral?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45983532/ns/us_news/?...

SorosBot January 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Somehow it's very hard to feel bad for him.

GOPCrusher January 13, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Instant Karma's gonna get ya!

Nostrildamus January 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Only a matter of time before Mitt's campaign starts to go negative.

jus_wonderin January 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

But, how accurate is a stomped snatch?

Barrelhse January 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Mitt is boring. Anyone feel like shitting on the Kansas GOP for a while? http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/01/13/40391...

WinterOuthouse January 13, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Lying scum sucking mormon bastard

TeaNuts January 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I think I now understand "trickle down" economics, let me wipe that shit from chin.

ttommyunger January 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I was kind of neutral about Mitt until I learned more about him during this (Ha, ha) campaign. Now I think he is an unprincipled dick. I guess it's like my dad used to say about my ex: "To know Mitt is to hate him". No, she wasn't named Mitt and she wasn't a him; I just didn't want to put her name out there. She knows who she is.

GOPCrusher January 13, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Not sure which is more chuckalicious. Bible Spice joining the anti-capitalism pig pile against Mitt Romney, or hearing Rush Limbaugh crying over the fact that Republiklans are now starting to repeat what the rest of America has been saying for over 30 years.

owhatever January 13, 2012 at 5:32 pm

There were so many jerbs created that we lost count. There were 100,000 in China alone.

NewtsChicknNeck January 13, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Jeez. Mitt's really not cut out for being a republican. when confronted with truth to your previous bullshit, Never Never Never cop to it as bullshit or back down from your previous bullshit claim.

Mitt should have responded, "not 100,000 jobs. 200,000 jobs. 200,000 'high-paying, bad-ass, drive your kids to work, eat dinner with your family, retire at 65 to own your own vineyard as a hobby, life-affirming' jobs."

stupid fucking merman.

BZ1 January 13, 2012 at 7:22 pm

the so-called proof being? what he said??

tealsheart January 13, 2012 at 10:07 pm

That what he gets for only talking about numbers in his quiet room.

Biel_ze_Bubba January 15, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Interesting bit of Mormon hoodoo: Lying for the Lord.

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