Choose your own misadventure
House Republicans (stunned the nation / met already low expectations) this afternoon when they (passed / failed to pass / pulled from consideration) (Paul Ryan's / Donald Trump's) bill to repeal the Affordable Care Act. In (a shocking come-from-behind win / a humiliating defeat / yet another in a series of fuckups) for the Trump administration, the House (passed / fell short of passing / gave up for now on) the American Health Care Acton by (a vote of ___ for and ___ against / pussing out and pulling the bill AGAIN). All the House Democrats voted against the bill, so the loss of ___ Republican votes was (not enough / far more than enough / shut up, there was no vote!) to derail Trump's first major legislative initiative.
A (smiling / glowering) Donald Trump told reporters ("I knew we'd win, bigly" / "You people are enemies of the people and you sabotaged this" / "Why me, sweet Jesus? I thought I told you to give me what I want!") after members of the Freedom Caucus (held their noses and voted for / celebrated their defeat of / led to the delay of) the measure. A visibly (relieved / shaken / intoxicated) Paul Ryan (congratulated the president / distanced himself from the president / hid under his desk) in response to the (win / loss / decision to pull the bill), vowing the House's next priority would be to pass (deep tax cuts for the wealthy / deep tax cuts for the wealthy / deep tax cuts for the wealthy).
Following the (unanticipated victory / crushing defeat / wussy delaying tactic), President Trump took to Twitter to announce ("I am the greatest deal maker of all time, and everyone knew we'd win" / "Washington is full of traitors. It's time to drain the swamp." / "Fuck all of you, I'm going golfing, you fuckers!")
In other news, the New York Times has posted a surprising report on (more connections between the Trump campaign and Russia / Donald Trump's recent Twitter meltdown / the release of the pee hooker tape). White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer dismissed the report as ("Fake News" / "Fake News" / "Fake News").
Ryan's satire-impaired, so yeah probably. "Look! This guy's even older than Ayn Rand!"
if Trump had any substance, after HIS BIGLY LOSS, and it is HIS and not the Democrat's loss, but if he had any substance, he would have been wandering the halls of the White House in his robe listening to this song over and over on his Sony Walkman:
https://www.youtube.com/wat...